PGAL Check-in 12/29

stashattack

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc. 

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Weeks/EDD?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

emeraldcity603

Weeks/EDD? 5+6/ Aug 25th

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I had a rough day emotionally yesterday. I spent the morning with my friends so I stayed distracted for half the day. My anxiety was so elevated I could feel it all over my body. I expressed my fears of not having any symptoms to DH and he said you go through this every single time. I don’t remember it taking this long to feel any symptoms. I have fatigue and mild on and off cramping and that’s it. I just want some nausea so I can have some reassurance. I started thinking of how I could move my ultrasound up but I realized DH would be out of town and I don’t want to get bad news when he isn’t here. I would have no choice but go to the ultrasound alone but at least I won’t come home to the kids alone and have to put on a happy face. I keep telling myself that this baby is fine. I have no reason ti believe otherwise. Best case scenario I go to my ultrasound, see a HB, and no SCH. I’m hoping today is a better day. 

Any appointment updates? No updates. 

Any big milestones? My next milestone is 14 weeks. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? The temps here are in the low to mid 20’s and we are still getting rain. It’s weird and I’m not sure what weather phenomenon makes that happen. I’m hoping we get some snow soon so the ice can get covered and won’t be as dangerous. I bought the kids new cleats so I can be assured they don’t fall and hurt themselves. My issue even with cleats is that I wear my 15 month old. So if I fall, I have 20 extra pounds coming down as I fall. I may start using my trecking poles too. Just for extra stability. Spring is around the corner and I really can’t wait. 

gingermama29

Weeks/EDD? 5 weeks +3 days , 8/29

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
 Tired, sore boobs

Any appointment updates? Another US in 2 weeks

Any big milestones? My next appointment will be a big milestone for me. It is the same date as my US for my first loss which is weighing on me a bit. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? I had my first ultrasound today and everything looked perfect. It was a massive relief of anxiety. It’s also just one baby growing in there! 

@emeraldcity603 hugs! Anxiety is terrible and there is absolutely no calming it with logic. I hope you can get some reassurance soon. It’s so hard to ignore all of the intrusive thoughts with PGAL.

emeraldcity603

@gingermama29 I’m so glad your scan went well. I would have difficulty having an appointment on the same day as a previous loss. I wasn’t able to even go into the same ultrasound room after my first loss. I had to go to different offices and it was very inconvenient for my doctor and after the first few she convinced me to do it at her office. It was hard but already seeing a healthy baby growing helped calm those fears. 

My anxiety is definitely spiraling. I called today and got my first ultrasound moved up by a week. So I go next Tuesday. I was looking at my chart again and my fertile window closed 4 days after CD14 which put me around 5.5 weeks right now and that does calm my fears about the lack of symptoms. I told myself I wasn’t going to let myself get to this point this time. I guess I just don’t have control over it. 

ccmrc143

Weeks/EDD? 7w 4d if I go by ovulation and 7w1d by LMP

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Not great for both! Lol. The mornings have been rough these last couple days. And I just cry over nothing. Emotionally I’m stressed because in a lot of ways I think I’m pretty far along, close to “safe” which doesn’t exist anyway. But I haven’t told anyone so it feels long and lonely. 

Any appointment updates? They referred me to MFM because I’m begging for Lovenox and it sounds like my regular OB is hesitant to give it. I’m stressed. So I’m seeing regular ob on the 11th and hoping I can convince her in person without having to go to MFM. Having factor v Leiden doesn’t usually qualify you for MFM so it feels like a waste. 

Any big milestones? I’m on CD 50 today which feels really long! My first loss was so early I met that milestone pretty quickly which is nice but it’s by no means a relief. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? Just a follow up that my unfounded suspicion about a pregnant friend turned out to be wrong! So now we’re going to tell them tonight at dinner, but because I’m so sensitive to loss and TTC struggles I want to make sure they’re not actively trying or suffering before dropping the bomb. So I think we’re going to be like “so what are your thoughts on more kids?” And if they say they haven’t thought about it then I will feel safe to tell them. I guess if they say they’ve been struggling, I will share about my loss and then not share the rest of the news until text message so they can react on their own. I don’t want anyone to feel like they owe me excitement if they’re struggling or grieving. Being an over thinker is really something! I wish I could have a different attitude haha

emeraldcity603

@ccmrc143 what’s the risk for what you are asking to be put on? I don’t know much about it but if I were you I would use terminology like, “it would help improve my quality of life by reducing my anxiety if I was prescribed this medication.” Something along those lines. Mentioning quality of life to a doctor is kinda one of those key words that can set things in motion that otherwise wouldn’t move. 

gingermama29

@ccmrc143 FX that your regular OB will prescribe lovenox without you having to see MFM. Also a text is a good idea, IMO, for delivering the news. It gives them the privacy to react authentically without expectations on either side.

ccmrc143

@emeraldcity603 so lovenox is a blood thinner and the risk is a “bleeding event”. I think your advice is so spot on. It’s more of a quality of life thing than a proven health need and I am confident I can be persuasive. @gingermama29 agree on the text! It’s so weird to be pregnant this time compared to my first because it was peak covid and so every announcement was virtual or text. Now it’s weird to have the ability to tell so many people in person! 

alireegs32

Thanks for putting this group together. It is comforting to know I’m not alone.

I’m 7 weeks - edd is 08/19

I’m so nervous but trying to be optimistic. In July at the first US of my first pregnancy their was no yolk sac. They said maybe my guess on weeks was off and it was earlier than I thought. But my doctor was honest with me and said there is a good chance that for whatever reason this sperm and this egg, just didn’t mix. so I did a follow the next week and HCG testing and completed my miscarriage weeks later. Because I was told the last baby did not developed past 6 weeks, I’m freaking out at every pain. I got blood drawn Thursday and go back Tuesday to be sure HCG levels are rising.

My first US isn’t until 1/17.

Did anyone else have to wait till 9 weeks for an US? I think the wait is the hardest part.

ccmrc143

@alireegs32 welcome and I’m sorry for your loss. My friend had the exact same experience as you and it was such a shock. So hopeful for you this time around! 

My ultrasound isn’t till 9 weeks either and I’m so annoyed! In fact I called and asked if they could move it to when I’m 8 weeks but there were no schedule openings. The receptionist also said “we also want to make sure baby is big enough to see” and that seems silly since there are so many ultrasounds at 6 and 7 weeks! The waiting in early pregnancy has to be the worst part, only made worse by having experienced loss previously

emeraldcity603

For some reason or another, with several of my pregnancies I have gone in earlier than 8/9 weeks. Twice was due to bleeding. Then I had my first loss and now I go in early due to anxiety and I pretty much demand to get an early scan to see if I have a SCH with the pregnancy. I like to go on modified bedrest depending on the location and size. Have you asked for an earlier scan? My anxiety was so high Friday that I was making myself sick. I called the US place and asked to get bumped a week ahead. I’m seeing a midwife due to the hospital restrictions surrounding COVID so I’m not sure if that’s why the place I’m going has more availability. 

alireegs32

Thank you! They’re running blood test first to see if an earlier one is needed but the one the scheduled me for was the earliest they had this time. Hoping the best for all of us!

emeraldcity603

I just left my ultrasound appointment. The baby is measuring at 6+3 and had a HR of 129. Which is wonderful news. However, I have a moderately large SCH. It’s measuring 3.66x2.38x1.45. I may be off on the 1.45. Anyways, it’s longer than the actual gestational sac on the entire left side. I’m feeling pretty devastated. I’m preparing myself to start bleeding at any moment and honestly I kinda feel like now I’m just waiting until I miscarry.

 I was not impressed with the place I was sent for the ultrasound. I had to request a transvaginal in additional to the abdominal ultrasound she did. She only wanted to do an abdominal ultrasound at 6 weeks. That’s ludicrous. I specifically had to tell her to look for any SCH and measure them no matter the size. I just felt like I was dealing with an amateur. I called my OB office I used prior to COVID to inform my OB that I would be sending my results to her and that I wanted to make an appointment specifically to discuss the results of the SCH. I’m currently under the care of a midwife and I really like her and all but she is soooo crunchy and hands off I feel that I won’t really get much feedback on this. Like it really isn’t a big deal. To me, it’s a huge deal and I need to know that my concerns are being taken serious. 

ccmrc143

@emeraldcity603 I’m so sorry. I was downplaying my SCH experience in the ultrasound thread—I know the outcomes can be devastating. And I was sick about mine for weeks, going down rabbit holes, sure that it would end badly. But I’m so so hopeful that yours will resolve this time or at least not harm baby. My old doula had an SCH and bled red blood every day her entire pregnancy, and her son is 5. Your experience with ultrasound is insane — why would they start with abdominal this early?? I’m glad you know what you’re dealing with and can advocate for yourself. Good for you getting into your old OB to hopefully get some perspective. I know this is a huge mental blow and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. 

emeraldcity603

@ccmrc143 I usually try to be more positive when I share my experiences with SCH but that question really caught me at a bad time. I’m mentally processing my own SCH so I’m in a really dark place with my thoughts right now. 

emeraldcity603

Also, I know the placenta is just now starting to grow etc and what is going to happen if it tries to attach on the left side. I think that will be when it all ends if that happens. Unless it shrinks a ton between now and then. I know they can shrink fast but they can grow as fast as they shrink and within a short amount of time. I just feel like I’m reliving the worst experience of my life. It took me so long to work through that mc. Why do I keep getting these? What’s the cause? I had 4 pregnancies before I was ever told I had one. I’m just feeling so heartbroken right now. 

gingermama29

@emeraldcity603 sending creepy internet hugs. As if PGAL brain needed extra anxiety. Ugh. I’m crossing everything for you that the SCH shrinks and your pregnancy goes smoothly and is completely boring. 

emeraldcity603

I just got off the phone with my midwife and she said the radiologist said I have a perigestational hematoma and not a SCH. Like my body tried to have a period and then stopped. She said that it won’t affect the baby and it’s nothing to worry about. I just looked it up and from what I can tell it’s a precursor to a SCH so I’m not really sure how it can’t affect the baby. Either way, I have my OB office on alert for my imaging and report to be sent to their office and they are suppose to call me today. I’ll relax once an OB tells me it won’t affect my baby. I’ll probably go in for more imaging every week or so until it resolves. If what my midwife says is true and it won’t affect the baby than this is wonderful news. I’m just skeptical of her optimism. 

ccmrc143

@emeraldcity603 so interesting! And hopefully she’s right. I am optimistic too and I hope more scans and more conversations and more time passing will help ensure this baby is sticking

emeraldcity603

I just scheduled a telehealth appointment with a doctor on Monday. I plan to write down all my questions so I don’t forget anything. I only get 20 minutes. The nurse wasn’t really able to answer my questions aside from limitations like pelvic rest and no vigorous exercise. I do feel more hopeful which is a huge change to where I was last night and this morning. I feel like I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.