December 2022 Moms

Unplanned C Section Emotionally Struggling

At 38 wks I had to be induced unexpectedly due to gestational hypertension and after 3 days of being induced I finally went into labor only to push for 4hrs and have to do an emergency csection for my baby's safety. I'm struggling emotionally with not being able to deliver vaginally like I initially expected. I have nothing against c sections and was always open to having one if need be but now that it's happened I just don't know how to feel. I feel like I messed up and almost like someone took something from me. This is way harder than I expected it to be, like everything else this pregnancy/ new parenthood😅 Anyone else feeling or having felt this way? I'm sure I'll get over it eventually and I'm so thankful my baby and I are safe and healthy but as of right now I'm tired of feeling this way.

Re: Unplanned C Section Emotionally Struggling

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    Absolutely! I was induced at 38 weeks for gestational hypertension in my 1st pregnancy. I had imagined spontaneous labor with no drugs but after a day went by I got an epidural. I also pushed for 4 hours but finally got him out. Nothing went as imagined. I was really hoping for spontaneous labor this pregnancy. I had bleeding at 26 weeks so I knew I'd be looking at induction again. I had no idea my water would break before 34 weeks and I'd end up with a preemie and so much hospital time. There are so many things we can't control and when you're tired, have hormonal changes, and adjusting to life with a newborn it's hard to process the extra emotions around labor and delivery. You did your absolute best during pregnancy, labor and delivery. It's ok to mourn what didn't go as you envisioned or what you feel you didn't get to experience. If you find you're not getting over it though, mention it to your provider and ask for some help processing your feelings. 
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    I feel you! At 39 weeks I had an ultrasound with MFM. Baby was healthy but then my OB called and asked if I could come in right away. Baby measured 38 weeks everywhere except his abdomen which was off the charts (>42 weeks) so I was told the risk of shoulder dystosia was anywhere from 4%-24%. I had spent my entire pregnancy planning and preparing for an unmedicated birth with a strong "no c section unless it's an emergency" standpoint. But in light of this news, my husband and I decided a c section was safest. I cried for 2 hours in the OB office that day and then another 3 hours at home and then again the next day as they were prepping us for surgery. Same feeling, like something was taken from me or that my body didn't do what it was supposed to, and I didn't even get to try labor. After delivering I was still emotional and couldn't talk about what had just happened except to be thankful that me and my baby are ok. My little guy is now 11 days old and this week I am feeling much better about the way he was brought into the world. I still flip flop a little about having more kids now knowing a second c section is almost inevitable, I hope with time that Ill be able to sort that out. Know that as you recover you will likely start to feel better about it all. I'll pray for you, this is not an easy thing for those of us who didn't want it. It's also hard to talk about, and its ok to tell people that when they ask. I've told my sisters that I'm not ready to share my birth story yet because it is still too fresh for me, but as my body heals and I see that I eventually will get back to "normal" its getting easier to process. It's also hard knowing that there are things that I should be able to do with my baby right now that I just can't because recovery is different than vaginal. But at the end of it all I know we are blessed to have our beautiful baby boy and that makes it all okay 💙. Hang in there!
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