Randoms w/o 12/5

kalesix3

Oops I just now realized we didn't have a new randoms and it's Tuesday already lol. 
Anyways what's everyone up to this week? ✨

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 responding to your baby dream here... no freaking way!! I think that counts honestly. The dream can manifest its message however it sees fit! Do you feel like you lean girl since the dream? I was just whining to my husband last night that I still feel NO inclination on the sex of this baby and it is so weird to me. And no dreams about the baby at all! Part of me worries I'm less attached this time and that's why I'm not having dreams. I told DH last week that I find myself "forgetting" I'm pregnant a lot if I'm not actively thinking about it (now that I'm not *constantly* vomiting at least) and he's like I literally never forget that you're pregnant lol. And I still can't convince myself to buy anything for the baby. I'm hoping seeing them bop around in the ultrasound Thursday will help my mentality shift and maybe we'll get somewhere with these dreams!

kalesix3

@thescarletmom I mean I've definitely had indirect dreams like that before as well as really clear dreams where the gender was the same so I think it can be accurate but I won't trust it just yet. 
I don't have any trustworthy intuition just yet. For me heartbeat and Chinese gender charts have always been accurate and right now both say girl but I'm waiting to see how much the heartbeat slows down because both babies started at 172 and then my son slowed down to 130 and my daughter stayed in the 170s so just a waiting game. Other than that I always crave salty and sweet, my skin is varying levels are awful, I carry the same way etc so yeah just waiting on fhr and a dream/intuition. I feel like I thought about another boy a lot before I got pregnant but I've thought about a girl a lot more since I've been pregnant but that's also because pgal anxiety. 
My intuition with the other two didn't feel concrete until about 20 weeks. With my daughter I'd had several dreams but I was 19 weeks in the car going to work with my partner and I was like "this baby is a girl" and we were both like that's that lol. I didn't have super clear dreams about her face and features until third trimester so all that to say there's time and I know the dreams will happen! Maybe talking to me will get your brain in the mode lol. I hope the ultrasound helps too! Maybe mine will as well 🤞🏻 I have bought some things though but just because I buy a ton of gender neutrals regardless. 

cassafrass123

Just checking in! I couldn’t fully log in and I couldn’t like or comment on anything for days.

kalesix3

@cassafrass123 oh no, that happened to me a bunch of times last time I was on the bump, it's so annoying. 

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 heartbeat was wrong for DS1, and I honestly can't remember for DS2. The Chinese gender charts have been right so far but also its a 50/50 chance so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't put a ton of stock in any of them, but I do love to see what old wives tales were right and wrong! I noticed the other day that I have developed a very strong aversion to sweets. We had a vendor drop off some holiday treats at the office and I got some chocolate covered popcorn, which I love. I literally couldn't stand the bites with much/any chocolate on them. I couldn't finish the small bowl I poured, it was crazy. As far as intuition, I had a gut feeling all along but especially after my blue pants dream early on with DS1, but they told us girl at our ultrasounds. But two weeks to the day before he was born I woke up from another dream and was like.. i think this baby is a boy? DS2 I had an instinct almost instantly, and another dream of boy, and we found out I was right at like 7 or 8 weeks. But this baby, I just have nothing. If I spend a day feeling like ehhh maybe i lean girl, the next day I feel the complete opposite. It's driving me mad a bit! Fingers crossed something does it for me haha. Also very funny to me in your dream you would say "I'm having another girl" considering you already have one of each, so it would be "another" regardless 😂 not that dreams are obligated to be completely sensical (sp?)

@cassafrass123 that's so irritating! I also had it happen to me a bunch last pregnancy and I ended up completely dropping off the bmb in 2nd tri because the app was just useless and I could never participate. 

thescarletmom

I am so mentally overwhelmed I feel like my brain will explode. I went to a committee meeting last night since I'm a den leader for DS1s scouts, and the meeting went twice as long as I was expecting, I felt unprepared and inundated with information, and my husband was texting me frustrated because the meeting running so late completely blew up bedtime (we always tag team it). Scouts is going to add so much to our calendar these next few months AND I found out one of our summer camp sessions is on my due date. UGH. On top of that, I have finals next week, there's so much scheduling and co-parent stuff to be sorted out for the holidays, gift buying and sooo much wrapping, anxiety about sickness, meal planning, feeling guilty about not getting more done around the house, etc. I feel like I have dates and activities spilling out of my head at all times. I know it's just the season, and pregnancy brain being frazzled. But I hate feeling like I don't have a handle on my own schedule and right now it's just a big bomb going off on my calendar. I want to just have a good cry about it. I'm sure I'm not alone in this too-busy-to-breathe feeling.

kalesix3

@thescarletmom ugh I feel so bad for you, what a nightmare. Can you get out of it somehow? I know you probably don't want to but if the commitment is draining the life out of you and you're already going to miss things because of when you're due I would just tell the other admins or leaders or whatever they're called (sorry I know nothing about scouts whatsoever) that it's not working and being pregnant you're juggling too much right now. Virtual hugs for the situation though, it sounds miserable. 
Also that's so frustrating that your brain is stringing you along like that with what your intuition even is and especially irritating that the dreams are nowhere to be found right now! 
Oddly enough I actually think my friend is having a girl, not a boy so that dream has me questioning everything lol. I could be wrong but I was right about her son at the time so we'll see lol 

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 this is just a big pity party for myself, a lot of my issues with scouts is sort of self-inflicted 😬 and really, being involved is something I do want and is important to me. The kids are grouped by grade and the leader is supposed to follow them all the way through, so I have 1st graders this year but I'll be with these same kids as 2nd graders next year and so on. Longterm, its the right call for me to stick it out this year, it's just a bummer that the timing of camp means that I won't get to go and DH will in my place. And this committee meeting was just a special shit show, the last one wasn't bad! Just one of those times where you need to complain about the hard parts of something you really want. And the holidays are always a hard time for me mentally, and I've had terrible pregnancy brain fog this time, so I think that's majorly contributed to my stress the last few weeks. It'll all be okay, I just need a really good brain dump on some paper and remind myself what I'm doing aligns with my priorities, and you *can* make time for the things that are important, even if it's hard! I am a catastrophizer big time, and recognizing that is something I try to work on. 

I've accepted that January will be the first time I feel remotely confident about baby's sex 😂 but also if it says girl I probably won't trust it toooo much just because of DS1 haha. We'll see! Some days I'm vaguely offended that my brain won't give me just one dream, and other days I'm like, eh, I have no preference really so I'm not stressed to find out. It would just be nice to not have to totally nail down two names before birth.

pttomato

I’m sitting and waiting for my 1 hour GTT. I’m hoping if I fail this one I can convince them to let me skip the 3 hour and just assume GD. 

thescarletmom

Just scored a barely-used Willow pump on Craigslist 👌🏼 I was an EPer with DS1 for 12 months with a big monster of a Medela and I said never the eff again haha. So I bought a Willow off Craigslist when I was pregnant with DS2 in case I ended up exclusively pumping again, because I was terrified of being chained to a wall every 2-3 hours. I didn't, but the pump was literally a godsend when I went back to work and for dealing with my oversupply. Unfortunately, it bit the dust right after I was done with it so I need a new one. My insurance won't cover or even reimburse for the Willow or Elvie, and lots of people on FBMP think you can resell things for $20 less than you bought them new for 🙄 and I really didn't want to pay the $500. But this one is a great deal and I'm so thrilled!!

mindfulmomma2022

@thescarletmom I’ve been looking into Willow and Elvie as pump options. At some point I would love to pick all of your momma brains about what the best pump would be. 

I have the Modela Freestyle Flex on my registry right now. The reviews about battery life are concerning to me though. I will be going back to work around 8 weeks postpartum so- for right now- the plan is to pump about 3 times a day maybe?! 

Do you think the Willow would do well under those circumstances or if I were to have to exclusively pump? 

Love that you were able to score such a great deal!! 

thescarletmom

@mindfulmomma2022 the Willow was literally life changing for me, and made pumping at work way easier. It also would have been great if I ended up EPing. I was very, very happy with it. The battery life on them isn't bad at all, I want to say I could pump all 3 sessions in a day without needing to charge, but if I had my chargers, I would plug them in in between pumps just for the sake of having them ready if something came up. I used it both with their reusable containers and their special milk bags, and didn't have issues with either method. You just have to remember not to lean too far over with them in your bra! 

kalesix3

@thescarletmom well I hope it gets better for you and that you hit your stride with it because I can see how much you love it! You're stronger than I am by far, I would have bailed immediately. Fingers crossed it gets easier in the coming months and only a few weeks till January so bring on some clarity ✨ 
Yay on scoring such a bargain on a willow! That's incredible! Dude I feel you on the panic on being chained to the wall again, I hope that doesn't happen! I'm determined not to pump this time lol, I'll move mountains not to go through that hell again. 

@mindfulmomma2022 I had elvies last time and I won't recommend them. They can't handle a normal letdown and were a nightmare for even slightly oversupply. I ended up selling mine. It sucked because being chained to a wall like thescarletmom mentioned was hell on earth with a baby. I wanted to try willows but I tried the babybuddha and in bra silicone collection cup system that everyone raved about and it didn't do it for me, I couldn't empty efficiently at all. 

annemarie96

I’m reliving all the pumping trauma right now. 😅 I’m so impressed by moms who pump if they can’t breastfeed. I know for sure if something happens to my supply I can’t handle pumping again. Nope. Never. Not me. 

Thankfully I haven’t had a supply problem before, only pumped because baby was in nicu and couldn’t latch for months. So I don’t foresee a problem but I already know what my decision would be. My crunchy husband will just have to accept it and buy fancy imported German formula. Lol

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 I just scheduled my anatomy scan today for January 26th so only 7 more weeks! Oh no, what a bummer! I'm sorry you had such terrible luck with in the other in-bra pumps/cups. Fingers crossed you can avoid pumping this go around 🤞 I was worried because I heard a lot of criticisms (from people who had never tried them) that the in-bra pumps wouldn't have strong enough suction to empty the breast, etc. and that you'd "need a real workhorse like Medela" but that was not my experience at all with Willow and I was really impressed with the suction. 

pttomato

Well, I failed the 1 hour GTT so badly I definitely don’t have to take the 3 hour at least. 🤷‍♀️

thescarletmom

@pttomato ahh, well at least it sounds like you were expecting it? Sorry mama, what a bummer. You had it with both your other pregnancies right?

pttomato

@thescarletmom Yeah, I didn’t expect to pass. I failed it at 12 weeks with my first and didn’t even take it with the second because I was seeing an endocrinologist and already on insulin by 11 weeks. My A1Cs since the second kid were good, but my pancreas apparently gives up as soon as I get pregnant. I’m used to it at least.

kalesix3

@annemarie96 I've already been weighing my options just in case the worst we're to happen again and I'm getting German imported formula instead of exclusively pumping again. 
I definitely feel terrible, I never saw myself not breastfeeding in some way, and I don't want one kid to get something the other didn't just because I was a quitter but I know I can't be an exclusive parent to two littles and deal with the amount of time and problems it causes to pump. The amount of life I missed out on, and how once I started I was too guilty to stop. I'm hoping if I just block out all the stupid advice and medical ignorance that caused my breastfeeding journey to have to be pumping last time and just do  what I learned with my son, to assess oral ties myself and immediately see a good pediatric dentist, plus chiropractic work and lots of oral function exercises that hopefully I can get a good latch and not experience the same failure and trauma of last time. 

@thescarletmom oh yay!!! Mine is Jan 17 so just a little over a month away! I'm excited and really nervous. Yeah I think wearables have enough suction, but I do know elvie customer support says that the motor isn't for exclusive use and it will burn out after a certain amount of hours, I want to say it's 50 but I can't remember exactly. They only tell you that after your pumps break and they won't replace them lol. 

cassafrass123

@mindfulmomma2022 I EPed with my 3rd with the Willow and my free avent pump through my insurance. I loved the willow when I was at work (in the hospital) because it was a completely closed system and I could move freely while pumping. When I was home or driving I actually preferred my avent (the only brand my insurance covers) with in-bra cups. It was more gentle and I got better let-down for sure.

I’ve also used a spectra in the past and I didn’t respond any differently than to my avent. When push comes to shove, though, sometimes an inexpensive manual breast pump works best for me.

kalesix3

I wasn't sure to drag up an old thread or not so I'm just sharing here, I finally took my social media announcement photo. I was going to do something totally different but the stocking idea just seemed too cute. 

annemarie96

@kalesix3 So cute!!!!! 

I’m hoping you have a beautiful experience this time around with bf! It can be so vastly different with different kids. ❤️❤️ 

And yeah, I had neeeever pictured myself giving formula to my child, but once I read all the ingredients of the great formulas from overseas and compared all of a sudden I was like, okay this is actually real food. 

Also it’s amazing what you have to do sometimes that you never thought you would, for your mental health and being able to be present as a mom. Now being able to connect with all three of my kids will be very high priority. 

When my second was in the nicu of course he became the only priority, which is fine, it was a season. But then he came home and basically there was a solid year where I barely remember my older son. I took care of him but my second was just that consuming. 

Anything I can do to be able to still be a mom for my older kids I will do it. 

Anyway, sorry that was long but so many emotions right now! 😭

kalesix3

@annemarie96 no I definitely agree with you, I try not to think about it too much because then I definitely get so stressed and sad. I'll just have to cross that tough bridge when it comes but hopefully this time is completely different for us both! I have faith it will be! 

peyts228

@mindfulmomma2022 I nursed and pumped with my first, and I was really happy with my spectra (fully insurance covered.) I also highly recommend a haaka for manual expression in a pinch.

@pttomato at least you don't have to sit through the 3 hour test! I'm sorry your GD kicks in so early, that's rough. I'm so worried that my numbers are going to start trending up as the placenta takes over. At least we can vent together, lol.

pttomato

I BF both kids for at least 2 years, we never got either of them to take a bottle or a pacifier. Just thinking about it feels really overwhelming to me now though. I did a lot of parenting things with my kids like wearing them all the time, didn’t use a stroller until 6 months and rarely after that, nursing every 2 hours overnight for like 18 months, etc. but I am finally starting to feel like an actual person again and I’m really afraid of losing myself again if I go back to that. 

annemarie96

@pttomato wow! That’s a lot of nighttime feedings! I’ve heard a few moms say number 3 is easier. Maybe because you naturally have less time and they naturally get used to noise while sleeping, etc. 
I barely wore my kids after newborn stage, which I kind of regret, but they got so heavy! I definitely want to wear this one a ton more in the newborn stage though. I feel like I didn’t enjoy that enough! 

pttomato

@annemarie96 TBF the nighttime feedings was just DD. I nightweaned DS a little after 1 I think, and he was only nursing a couple times at night at that point. DD is a lot in many ways, lol.