TTCAL w/o 11/14

bearmomma1

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results

Questions?

GTKY: What's your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

wanderlustsoul

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

2 miscarriages - one in September and one in November. 

Status: tbd 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? HCG was tested today and it is down to 157.8. I also got my thyroid test results and as I expected, it was high - 3.5. So now I’m struggling a bit with not pushing harder when I found out I was pregnant. I said ok to waiting 1.5 weeks for testing but was that the wrong decision? Did this cause low progesterone and are these things what have caused my miscarriages? 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? See above. I also will push my GP for progesterone testing at our appt on Friday. 

Questions?

GTKY: What's your favorite Thanksgiving dish? Fave is macaroni pie which I never get bc I don’t make it haha. 

maggiemadeit

@wanderlustsoul It’s so hard not to think of every thing that you did while pregnant that could have caused a loss, especially when there are so rarely concrete answers for why. I hope you can be a little gentle with yourself right now, and trust that there is likely nothing you could have done to change the outcome. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: Spontaneous loss at 6 weeks in August 2021, MMC and D&C at 12 weeks in February 2022. 

Status: Second cycle back TTC again after my last loss, in the TWW now

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I find these days that I am always kind of toeing the line between hopeful and hopeless. I want to believe, but I also know that time and statistics are not on our side. I can keep my head up until the TWW and then I start to worry that it will never happen for us. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? After my RPL panel came back normal (or nearly normal) we decided not to pursue further testing. 

Questions? NATM

GTKY: What's your favorite Thanksgiving dish? I have celiacs so instead of traditional stuffing I make something similar to sausage stuffing, but I swap butternut squash instead of the bread. My in laws ask for it several times a year, it’s a family favorite. 

sunshine134

**Lurking**

@wanderlustsoul I'm so sorry for your loss. I want to encourage you not to blame yourself. There is no way to know "what if" and most likely the outcome would be the same. In times like this, I like to practice self compassion- how would you talk to a friend? I imagine you would say, it's ok to be sad and to wonder, but it is most definitely, in no way, your fault. Hugs. 

@maggiemadeit I totally understand the hopeful/hopeless theme. While I did not have a recent loss, I know there a lot of things playing against me, so it's hard not to be hopeless. Then, I have a days where I am so confident it's going to happen, but that is scary to. Best wishes for you and hoping for you BFP this cycle. 

wanderlustsoul

Thanks guys. I just want answers. I have to believe there is a reason for it and if I can solve it then that means I can have a successful pregnancy. 

@maggiemadeit, crossing my fingers for your bfp this cycle! 

maggiemadeit

@wanderlustsoul I totally get it. Being told my losses were “bad luck” and “old eggs” is very unsatisfying, because they’re is very little I can do about those things, and I am an action person, and I NEED to be able to do something about it. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and, if not, I hope you can find some peace in the not knowing and some hope for the future ❤️