Randoms w/o 10/31

iiirene

What’s going on this week?

iiirene

I had a mini crisis last night when my dishwasher quit working. We luckily got it working again somehow…I don’t know what my husband did. I told him it’s a good thing it’s working again or there would have been a high possibility of mental break down. A sort of “straw that broke the camels back” type of thing. 

I am really not so excited to teach a bunch of preschoolers today. Especially after watching my husband let my own child eat candy for breakfast. I’ll let it slide though because he fixed the dishwasher. 

My lease is up on my car this month and I’m wondering how people go car shopping with kids? It doesn’t seem logical to bring him along. 

acleverusername

Can we just call it Ransoms from now on? 

acleverusername

@iiirene jokes aside, I wish you all the strength for this Tuesday. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Can' comment on shopping for a car with kids, other than do your research online and maybe take turns with your H until you decide what you want? 

ladyofarlington

We had fun ToTing and were thankful for only a few bit of rain. The rain boots were helpful and the umbrellas only came out a few times.  We had pizza and hung out on our neighbor’s front porch with other neighbors after the girls were finished ToTing and the girls played inside for about an hour afterwards. 

Neighbor texted us this morning their daughter woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and cough. Negative for COVID but praying DD doesn’t get sick - especially since DH leaves tomorrow, comes back late Thursday night then leaves again Friday until the following Friday so I will pretty much be solo parenting for the next 10 days. 

@iiirene we went car shopping with DD on Sunday at two different dealerships (we had appointments) and it was fine 🤷‍♀️

nsk489

Ransoms has me lol-ing

@iiirene good luck today 🙏 I do not miss working with children at all when it's the holidays. For car shopping...I guess it would depend on your child and what kind of mood they're in haha. I would think bringing kids would be beneficial bc you could test out your car seat in the new car before making a final decision....and if your kid is "misbehaving" maybe the dealership will want to get you out of there quicker 🤣

My husband officially put in his request for paternity leave 🥳 which seems super early but HR requested he put it in already bc he's on a team with only 1 other person and DH plans on taking the full 16 weeks (2 months right away and 2 more months throughout the year) so they want to hire additional people. He was feeling guilty at first until I reminded him he works mostly with Europeans where this is the norm, and they shouldn't offer 16 weeks if they don't want employees to take it 🙃

iiirene

@nsk489 hahaha I didn’t even notice. Can you tell I have a proof reading problem?  That paternity leave policy is amazing! My husband gets 6 weeks paid…I actually don’t think I get any paid time that isn’t using my sick leave. I still need to reach out to HR to see. 

@ladyofarlington hope you all stay healthy! It seems like this cold and flu season is off to a really rough start. 

@acleverusername ransoms from here on out! 

etnyah

@nsk489 I get 16 paid weeks and my husband gets 12 paid weeks, that’s standard in WA now! One of the reasons I like living here. It’s state paid through a tax program so employers don’t really get to have a say in you taking as much leave as that. 

I’m taking an additional two months unpaid leave as well because my boss lets me. And that’s still six months less than I would have received in Norway. The “married to work” ethos in the US was one of the larger culture shocks tbh. Take as much time off as you can and do NOT feel guilty!

trubaby411

@etnyah wow, that is amazing (for the US anyway). It's so ridiculous that we don't support new parents more in this country, and allow for paid time off so they can focus on bonding with their new child. I could stand on this soapbox forever. Le sigh. 

etnyah

@trubaby411 agreed, I’m really happy about it. Paid leave is new as of 2020. I got zero paid leave with my son who was born in 2019, and I only get two weeks of pto, my work has no parental leave. We squirreled away a big chunk of savings in order for me to be able to take six months off then too. 

At least six months is non-negotiable for me. I didn’t ask for it off, I told my boss I was taking it and if they didn’t want me to, consider it my notice and I’d find another job six months after baby was born. I’m fully aware a lot of people don’t have that option and it makes me so angry. You just created a tiny person who is 100% helpless and needs you! 

nsk489

@etnyah Oregon is still a little behind WA in that regard; our paid leave is 12 weeks for either parent but the program doesn't start until next Sept! So I'm feeling very thankful that his company offers 16 weeks (he only had 2 weeks when our son was born, and he negotiated that when he was hired!). I really wish the US would get with the times and have an approach more similar to Europe or Canada. 2 girls in my last BMB live in Canada and they both took off over an entire year!

acleverusername

@nsk489 the legal mat leave in Canada is now 18 months! However, in most cases (unless you work in tech or government) it's not paid except for unemployment insurance, which ends up being ~500 a week. That said, you're guaranteed your job at the end of the 18 months. 

I am fairly lucky as well (compared to other places in the US, at least; although it's just OK for a tech company) in that I can take 4 weeks before baby comes, and then 18 weeks afterwards. But of those 18, 6 will be paid at 70% and 4 will be unpaid. 

nonlinear_function

Due to FMLA, my school "allows" you to take up to 12 weeks and keep your job/insurance (I think). But you only get 6 paid (8 for a c-section), if you have the PTO days saved. Which is near impossible to do if you already have 2 kids, one of whome got sick TWICE in October (cough, my son, cough cough). Baby Shark is due 10 weeks before the end of the school year, so I'm hoping not to have to go back before Fall, but haven't crunched the numbers with HR yet. Even if I have to miss a paycheck or two, it will be worth it, as long as I can keep my insurance. We are at the very beginning of negotiations for our new contract and currently are attempting to change it to a paid 6 weeks regardless of PTO time, but that won't take effect (if it passes) before this one arrives either way. 

iiirene

CO voted for paid maternity leave and it was approved but school districts have the right to opt out and mine did 🙃

etnyah

@iiirene ahhh the benefits of being a teacher. Remind me again why there’s a teacher shortage?

etnyah

Soooo my nesting instincts are kicking in, but not in a useful way like feeling the urge to deep clean the house or organize anything. Instead all I want to do is waste my money on stupid things. So far I’ve added a bunch of stuff to cart without actually checking out, but it’s just a matter of time. I really need to save money, not waste it! Why is being frugal and responsible so boring??

nonlinear_function

Whenever I hear a name I might like/don't hate, I Google what it means. Yesterday was the wildly creative James. "Hmm, that could work for a boy with our last name, what's it mean?"

James means the same exact thing as Jacob—“supplanter” or substitute—

What a great name for the 3rd child, lol! Don't worry 1 and 2, we've got your replacement lined right up. 

enw1028

@etnyah that is my toxic trait 😂 our Amazon cart forever has thousands of dollars of random stuff I discover and don’t want to forget about so I just add it to cart. My husband gets so mad when he wants to check out and has to save it all for later 🙈

nsk489

@nonlinear_function that is hilarious 🤣 I have a running list on my phone that I started when I was pregnant with my son, but I never bother to look up the meanings. And idk why I keep adding to my list either, as my husband and I are 100% set on a boy name and have a girl name picked out as well (although we aren't set on a middle name, we are planning on using the first name my son would have had if he were a girl like we were so convinced he was 😆)

scaredunprepared

@etnyah omg this is me right now.  I am usually so budget conscious and never spend frivolously, especially not on myself.  I am putting all the stupid things in my Amazon cart.  I have actually made a bunch of purchases too.  I should be saving for the kids upcoming birthdays and Christmas!  

etnyah

@scaredunprepared repeat after me: a $150 acrylic wall sconce shaped like the moon is NOT a necessity. Do not buy it. 

v_flowers

@iiirene That’s so frustrating that your district was able to opt out of the program! I swear, teacher life continues to be the struggle. 

We don’t have paid maternity leave in my school district either (unsurprising since I’m in SC 🙄). I’ve banked a ton of personal days over the past few years, so I’ll get to watch all of those disappear come April. 

scaredunprepared

@etnyah 😆 🤣 but it sounds so cute!!!

I am so fortunate my husband gets 12 weeks paid leave after baby comes!  It was such a blessing last time, and I know it will be even more essential this time with 3 kids!  My previous jobs were both part time and offered essentially no benefits at all, so when I left I basically left for good, though they told me I was welcome back any time.  My one boss I have covered for a handful of times (maybe 6 or 8 times) in the last 4 years.  But there is really no incentive for me to go back.  I was with them for 7 years and basically never got a raise or anything.  I am lucky I have the option to work or not.

etnyah

The basic bitch in me is very excited about Starbucks switching to their holiday menu. Peppermint mocha > psl. I walked in there today and it was so Christmasy, it’s definitely too early but I don’t care, I love the holiday season. 

gingerbunny23

@etnyah, not this girl.....not this year. I'm so upset they've discontinued my favorite....feel free to hate on it, but I look forward to those eggnog latte's all year

etnyah

@gingerbunny23 noooo! I’m sorry, that sucks! 

iiirene

A new Starbucks just opened within walking distance from my house and is on my drive to work. I’m planning on stopping before work tomorrow for a drink. 

iiirene

One of my students finally caught on and asked me “You have a baby? You’re pregnant?” this morning. Then she gave my belly a little cuddle. I usually have a “don’t touch my belly” policy but I let it slide for 4 year olds. 

scaredunprepared

@etnyah I love PSL, but I really love peppermint mocha!  I would order it all year!  I have been doing tea instead this pregnancy but will make an exception at least a few times for this!

scaredunprepared

Help!  Trying to decide if this is too "girly".  Want a cute outfit for hospital pics but not sure this will work for a boy.  Thoughts?

etnyah

@scaredunprepared I think that’s neutral enough! Would suit a both a boy and a girl. And it’s super cute.

iiirene

@scaredunprepared to be honest it looks a bit girly to me. 

nsk489

@scaredunprepared I think it looks a little feminine but if I loved it that wouldn't stop me from using it 🤷‍♀️ can always pair it with a different hat or a swaddle that would make it look more "masculine" if wanted

nsk489

@scaredunprepared also I'm impressed that you're picking out outfits already 😆 I think I'm just going to reuse everything from my son

nonlinear_function

@scaredunprepared, covering up the bow helps, but it's definitely not ultra masculine. However, who is going to see these pictures? You and your family, who will know the name/sex? If you like it, there's no harm in it, and you can "boy it up" with other choices/props in birth announcements or a birth shadow box if you want. 

acleverusername

@scaredunprepared love it and looks neutral to me! Although I'd skip the bow if it's a boy. 

Similarly, I already got our "take home" outfit! It's got some dark green/teal tones, so I'm wondering if this will work for a boy girl. Opinions are appreciated!

Edited to correct boy > girl! 

nsk489

@acleverusername was that an accidental slip up? 😉
I love all the rainbow prints there are now for these rainbow babies! That one def works for boy OR girl imo

scaredunprepared

Thanks for your honest opinions.  I guess I'll be looking elsewhere lol.   @nsk489 I am only looking early because I knew that with our 3rd and last I wanted to wait until birth to reveal baby's sex, so this outfit is for that very purpose.  

etnyah

@acleverusername trying to tell us something?  I think it could work for either a boy or girl and awww so cute!

@scaredunprepared I honestly think it’s unisex, but I’m also the mom of a boy who has been confused for a girl a LOT, so maybe take my opinion with a grain of salt. 

scaredunprepared

@acleverusername definitely could be for a boy or girl!

@etnyah I won't get rid of it as an option, but I will keep an open mind if I see any other prints that catch my eye.

iiirene

@acleverusername I love that outfit! Very cute.