Hi everyone, I'm Eli and its nice to meet you all.
My question is how to know if parenting is for you.
I'm at the age where I am financially independent, I have my own house, i have no loans or any responsibilities, and am wondering if its time I should settle down.
I don't have a partner, and will be going though the process as a single mother with a sperm donor. (I should mention I'm in my late 30s.)
Some of my main motivating factors for having a child include the fact that my investments made big returns over the years, and I always thought it would be a shame if I didn't have a child to give these opportunities to/pass on the blessings. Not only in the sense of wealth, but in the sense of knowledge too. I came from the bottom- up and would really like to pay it forward and give someone else a good life.
However, some things holding me back are more practical. I worked as a kindergarten teacher for a while before, and though I enjoyed spending time with the kids, I did have to change careers because of burn out. Having a child is a 20 year commitment, at least; I'm worried I won't have the stamina to give my best version forward for that long. I'm worried that my inability to handle a kindergarten class is just an indicator that I won't be a good mom and just stress myself out instead. I should also mention I have a history of mental illness with anxiety and depression. Its gotten more managable over the years. However, not only do i fear I will pass it on to my child, I feel I would be doing an injustice to my child if I haven't taken care of all my demons before helping my child with theirs.
Thus, how did you know that parenting is for you? Is there some things you should have considered more before having children? Are there any big red flags I should be aware of? At this point, I'm still swaying back and forth. Any advice would help.