How do you know if parenting is for you?

Hi everyone, I'm Eli and its nice to meet you all.

My question is how to know if parenting is for you.

I'm at the age where I am financially independent, I have my own house, i have no loans or any responsibilities, and am wondering if its time I should settle down.

I don't have a partner, and will be going though the process as a single mother with a sperm donor.
(I should mention I'm in my late 30s.)

Some of my main motivating factors for having a child include the fact that my investments made big returns over the years, and I always thought it would be a shame if I didn't have a child to give these opportunities to/pass on the blessings.
Not only in the sense of wealth, but in the sense of knowledge too. I came from the bottom- up and would really like to pay it forward and give someone else a good life.

However, some things holding me back are more practical. I worked as a kindergarten teacher for a while before, and though I enjoyed spending time with the kids, I did have to change careers because of burn out. Having a child is a 20 year commitment, at least; I'm worried I won't have the stamina to give my best version forward for that long. I'm worried that my inability to handle a kindergarten class is just an indicator that I won't be a good mom and just stress myself out instead.
I should also mention I have a history of mental illness with anxiety and depression. Its gotten more managable over the years. However, not only do i fear I will pass it on to my child, I feel I would be doing an injustice to my child if I haven't taken care of all my demons before helping my child with theirs.

Thus, how did you know that parenting is for you? Is there some things you should have considered more before having children?
Are there any big red flags I should be aware of?
At this point, I'm still swaying back and forth. Any advice would help.

Thank you!

Re: How do you know if parenting is for you?

  • First no one can tell you if you should or shouldn’t have a child that has to be your decision but I will tell you that it is a totally different experience having your own kids versus taking care of other peoples children let alone 20 at one time. The love you have for your own child keeps you going and brings so much joy. Honestly kids are a lot of work but its worth it. If you can be in a room with 20 5 year olds then one child will feel like a breeze lol. Maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is make a list of pros and cons on having a child. Also if you decide to have a child one piece of advice I can give you is make time for yourself. Even if it is just for an hour take time to do something for you it will make you feel like your not trapped in the same routine and will also help improve your mental health as well. 
    Best of luck to you
  • Teaching is nothing like parenting! I’m so many ways it’s harder, and of course parenting is harder in a lot of ways. But my husband and I both hated teaching even though we love kids, and we have two kids now and even though we’re exhausted we’re really happy as parents. You kind of live in a burnt out state, but not at all like teaching. It’s your kid that you know inside and out. You grow as a parent with them, learning who they are and how to help them through each stage. A teacher is crippled from helping students in so many ways because you don’t have any control over the kids life, they’re just thrown into your class every day. With your kid you can decide what their life will look like and give boundaries and rules. 
    So different. 
  • Loading the player...
  • Of course, Parenting is a complex and rewarding journey that involves nurturing and caring for children as they grow and develop. It encompasses a wide range of responsibilities and challenges, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards