DON’T want to invite MIL

pinkb0wz

Here is the situation, I need suggestions and advice please…
My MIL and I never really got along, I have tried for 10 years to get along with her, she has always been closed and narrow minded, we ended up living with them for 8 months and had to move out due to her disrespect including the rest of the family. We have always paid for their mortgage, all property taxes, and still no appreciation, they think it is her sons duty to take care of them and yes sure if we had enough money to pay for our own living expenses and then had extra yes, but this is not the case!

So after living with them, had to move out due to my brother in law being shady with food, being selfish, never cleaning up after himself, just very youngest child mentality. FIL would always make fun of me calling me fat everyday and making fun of me in such a negative way and hence I am not over weight at all. MIL would always give me dirty looks, attitude, give me the cold shoulder, tell me I shouldn’t eat because I was fat, never felt welcome in their home so after I felt so not wanted in that nasty home I moved out without saying bye, just packed up over night and moved out I was dying in the inside it was i’m extremely toxic.

Now we have moved out I have never been so much happier. I completely blocked them and have not been in contact with them ever since. I have seen them twice at family gathering in the past 2 years. I never dare to step inside that
toxic house! We have a baby coming and it has been really bothering me….

I definitely will NOT invite my wench of a MIL nor FIL, where so am conflicted is I am very close with my husbands cousins families. Just not his parents or youngest brother. Do I have to invite his brothers?!? I get along with one but not the other(the one who we lived with in the same toxic household)….

I am already having split baby showers one for my close friends and his cousins and another for his friends small gathering. (his best friend dated my best friend so we are having to separate and have two separate showers)…

so how do i have to invite either of his brothers? since my husbands cousins are going to be invited and coming…? the one i get along with loves 8 hours away so not sure if he will even attend but the other one lives only an hour away, i feel like if i invite the brothers they will of course tell their parents and they might show up. what do i do?! or should i do?!

lisamright

I can't really tell you what to do because I'm sure there's a lot more to the situation that you just don't have time to share. Having said that- just because you're related by blood (or marriage) doesn't mean you're obligated to be in contact with those people. My mil definitely disagrees with everything I do in regards to raising my kids, and all our financial decisions are stupid..  for the first ten years I pushed so hard to be over there once a week to once every other week so my kids could know them... But now we only go maybe once every couple months. I have honestly considered cutting them off completely, but our youngest son still likes to visit, and I don't want to be the person that decides we aren't going to see my husband's parents ever again. Maybe you could talk to your spouse and see where that leads, it would be hard to omit them without his support I think... Best of luck, mil can be difficult to deal with sometimes unfortunately 

meggyme

Invite them the same way you invite everyone else, but if you’re trying to reduce drama maybe give them a call or text to let them know they are invited as friends of your but the rest of the family is not. That way they don’t accidentally tell them about it. Definitely get your husband onboard.