Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Naming Baby after loss

When I was a kid I had the name Lucy picked out for a future daughter. When I got pregnant we decided that if it was a girl that would be the name. We did a sneak peak gender test and found out it was a girl. We didn't tell many people just because we wanted to get a confirmation from the doctor as well. But I had been practicing with the name some. Before confirmation I learned I had a miscarriage. Now I am grieving the loss of both the baby and the loss of a name I've wanted for years. My husband said we hadn't chosen the name for sure so we could still use it, but I'm not sure how I'll feel about it. More than anything I am also concerned about the reaction of some people that we had shared the name with as a possibility. 
I would love thoughts and opinions, or even names similar to Lucy. 

Re: Naming Baby after loss

  • I'm so sorry for your loss  You definitely don't have to give this baby that name. Think about it, if the sneak peak had been wrong, or she was born and you took one look at her and thought "she is definitely not a Lucy!" you would've changed it. It's okay to give her a unique name that's special to her and her situation. It can even be an opportunity for a name that's meaningful to her and you, but maybe not something you would name a future child. I named my first lost baby Poppy. It was early, so she was the size of a poppy seed. We also lived in California at the time, and Poppy is the state flower. The name means something to me, but it's not a name I would've given a child born alive (and I didn't consult my husband on it, either). So maybe this baby can have a name related to where she was conceived, her birth month or stone, someone who has been supportive to you in this time, etc. We hadn't settled on any names before the loss, and I didn't choose Poppy from my list or my husband's list, so I can't say how it would feel to use a name I had originally considered for one baby for another. But I did find it helpful, to the extent that anything is helpful, to give my baby a name, even if I'm the only one who knows it. Maybe deliberately giving this child a name can solidify in your heart and mind that she is X, not Lucy, and that will give you the freedom to name another child Lucy, if you'd like and you are blessed with a baby girl in the future.
  • Thank you, this is really helpful. I appreciate your compassion and honesty. 💛
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