I placed my son for adoption 4 years ago. Today is his birthday.

turtletaylor0522

I handed my baby to his mama four years ago. She is amazing, his dad is great, and his big brother is perfect. I have never regretted my decision for one second. It’s been very hard, but worth it. 

We are in a semi-open adoption. I get updates yearly- photos and a letter. 

This is the first year I’ll also have my son. He is three months old. I’m not sure if it’s helping, or if time has helped heal more than I thought. I’ve cried, of course, but I don’t feel so much loss as I did four years ago. 

I’m in a very different place now. I graduated college, I’m married, we have a house, and everything is stable. Maybe that helps, too. Placing my first son for adoption was in no way selfish- it was all for him and his well being- but I would not be where I am now if I had chosen to parent. And I’ve come to accept that, rather than struggle with it. Because for a long time I felt guilty for enjoying the life I have now. He’s living his best life, that means the world to me. So why shouldn’t I live my best life, too? 

So I’ll continue thinking of him and praying for him every day and look forward to this year’s update in the mail. And I’ll continue loving the life I’m living with my husband and son. 

I’m just putting this out there for whatever reason.  

Happy birthday, my little nutbrown hare. ❤️

knottief4de7f0c78091055

Thank you for posting this. I did the same thing. My son will be 7 this November. My situation hasn't really changed much for the better though. Knowing that I did the best thing possible for my child is only thing that makes me feel any better about my decision. I hate to admit that I do regret it every day.