Family immunizations — The Bump
November 2022 Moms

Family immunizations

Not here to debate merits or faults of vaccinations, just get advice on relationships with differing positions! 

Anybody else’s spouse not on the same page regarding immunizations for family members before baby’s arrival? DH has never had a flu shot or COVID vaccine, and while he did have a mild case of COVID, he says his body can handle it so he doesn’t want to get those shots. He says he didn’t have to get flu shots with his kids from previous marriage, but maybe because they’re summer babies? He has agreed to the TDaP because it was specifically recommended by my doctor. While I do care about his health/bodily autonomy etc., I’m less worried about HIM handling it and more worried that our flu-season baby may not be able to. How do I handle this discussion? 

imageLilypie - (zxAe)

Re: Family immunizations

  • Talk to your doctor and see if he can help explain it. My first was born in October and none of us had a flu shot and he ended up in isolation in NICU for about two weeks with RSV. We were only allowed in the room with him if we showered,wore special outfits, and for only 5 minutes. He was is a plastic inclosure and I was only allowed to hold his bottle. I couldn’t even hold him to breast feed him. 
    We have some that are refusing and I will make enemies in the family but I have one experience of a sick baby in flu season and I don’t want to relive that. We aren’t even going to family Thanksgiving and have told them Christmas might not happen with the extended family it might be our parents and brother and sister and that is it. 
    But talk to your doctor see if they can help explain the importance of it to him. 
    Also if you are getting the shot before baby arrives it will have some immunity because of you. 
    fantasyflyteGingermom15kbedfox
  • kbedfox said:
    Not here to debate merits or faults of vaccinations, just get advice on relationships with differing positions! 

    Anybody else’s spouse not on the same page regarding immunizations for family members before baby’s arrival? DH has never had a flu shot or COVID vaccine, and while he did have a mild case of COVID, he says his body can handle it so he doesn’t want to get those shots. He says he didn’t have to get flu shots with his kids from previous marriage, but maybe because they’re summer babies? He has agreed to the TDaP because it was specifically recommended by my doctor. While I do care about his health/bodily autonomy etc., I’m less worried about HIM handling it and more worried that our flu-season baby may not be able to. How do I handle this discussion? 
    Have him talk to his doctor and your pediatrician/OB of the necessity. It isn’t about his body autonomy, it is about the health of his newborn who doesn’t have the choice. What’s mild for him could be detrimental to an infant. 

    For us, no one will be allowed access to the baby unless they are vaccinated, boosted and masked. 
    fantasyflytekbedfox
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  • Like the others have said, talk with your OB and have them talk to him. His body may very well be able to handle it, but that doesn't mean a newborn's can. Vaccines are about herd immunity and lowering risk in the community. Personally I want the family and community most in contact with baby to be protected. We are requiring vaccinations for anyone who wants to see baby. Also definitely skipping big family functions like Thanksgiving and Christmas this year while he's so little.
    kbedfox
  • I don’t actually know if this would work or be counter productive, but just an idea: sometimes people need to do research on their own to be convinced of something. Of course that can lead to conspiracy theory sites, but in this case I wonder if having him do his own research about babies and the flu could be helpful, as he might come across some scary stories that would motivate him.
    kbedfox
  • I spent many years not getting a flu shot, I don’t remember getting it as a kid and it just didn’t ever seem necessary. I got all the other recommended  vaccines but just never got that. My immune system a
    seemed really strong so I didn’t bother. I’d just get a little sore throat for a few days and that was usually about it. But in graduate school  when I would get a little sore throat my roommate would end up getting the full blown flu.  
    I’m pretty sure I just had the flu but it didn’t manifest badly in me and then I gave it to her and it was an actual flu for her 
    aaanyway maybe somehow you can tell him that you’d like him to get the shots because the infant won’t have built up that immune system and neither of you want deal with a sick newborn. 
    kbedfox
  • Thanks all. I have reached out to my OB to ask her to address immunizations for family at my next appointment. I don’t want DH to feel ganged up on, but she can report the realities of not getting vaccinated better than I can with anecdotes. 

    imageLilypie - (zxAe)

    sara12341234fantasyflyteclee5711
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