February 2023 Moms

Weekly Check in, 8/08

EDD / Weeks + Days: 

Baby is the size of a(n):

Team blue/pink/green:

Upcoming Appointments: 

How are you feeling?: 



GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  

Re: Weekly Check in, 8/08

  • EDD / Weeks + Days: 11 weeks and 4 days

    Baby is the size of a(n): Lime

    Team blue/pink/green: Team Green! 

    Upcoming Appointments: In 4 weeks with my new midwife! We saw our little one again via ultrasound last Thursday and it is doing great with a healthy heartbeat of 164! ❤️ 

    How are you feeling?: Better! 😊 I’m sleeping better and having more energy to do household chores and work. Still dealing with some bouts of nausea but it’s not too bad. 

    Rants/Raves: I found my midwife after last week’s set of interviews and I’m really happy with her. Also, I’m back to being more active since I’m no longer doing the progesterone shots. I went back to dance class last Sunday and Pilates today. It feels so good to move my body again. I plan to gradually include yoga and tennis back into my life as well! 

    Questions: NATM 

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  Here in the SW, it is ridiculously and oppressively hot. So we look forward to the fall when the weather becomes infinitely nicer for the next 9 months. 😎

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  • EDD / Weeks + Days: 11+2/ Feb 26

    Baby is the size of a(n): brussel sprout

    Team blue/pink/green: will be finding out

    Upcoming Appointments: Aug 19th

    How are you feeling?: Pretty dang good. Physically only a few symptoms and finally feeling good emotionally. 

    Rants/Raves: I was able to hear the heartrate at home with my Doppler at 9.5 weeks! So that's been my easing my anxiety. Rant- my husband is out of town for the next week, and my daughter has been testing me so badly!!! Just being a straight up turd. She's usually so good, but everything has been a struggle. 

    Questions: none today. 

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  Ready for fall, as far as weather and foraging for mushrooms, and sweaters, but I don't care about pumpkin spice and Halloween and all that stuff. 

  • EDD / Weeks + Days: 12.3

    Baby is the size of a(n): toy soldier

    Team blue/pink/green: blue

    Upcoming Appointments: late august

    How are you feeling?: ok the last few days. At least for the most part just sleepy on and off

    Rants/Raves: I told people at work and they were so excited it made me excited! I mean, I am in general, but there was something about sharing that made it fun.

    Rant: people at work immediately started saying I needed to do cutesy announcement and gender reveal, etc. That shit is just not my thing. Go on with your bad selves and do whatever you want, in return I just ask you let me live my life as I want. 

    Questions: whats the latest you would consider a job change? And would you feel guilty not telling potential new employer until youve been hired? 

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  I’m done with this heat but I hate pumpkin anything, so maybe something in the middle.

  • EDD / Weeks + Days:  14w 2d

    Baby is the size of a(n): peach 

    Team blue/pink/green: green 

    Upcoming Appointments: 18wk appt sept 6th

    How are you feeling?:  pretty good, i've definitely hit the 2nd trimester stride! Though honestly still tired and ready for bed at the end of the day, but what mom of 2 toddlers isn't :D

    Rants/Raves:  both kids have been sick with colds for going on 8 days...and they were just sick exactly a month ago.  I know it will only get worse when preschool starts up this fall, but I can't handle a cold a month with them! 

    Questions: NATM

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  I feel like this week I've started to see all the influencers starts pushing the halloween and fall decor and it makes me so mad!  It's early august, there's still a full month left of summer!  While i love the idea of decorating and being festive, I'm also overwhelmed at the thought of purchasing all the fall decor, finding what I already have in the basement, purchasing new fall/warm clothing for 2 kids let alone my growing self...so long story short, holding onto summer 

  • EDD / Weeks + Days:  12 weeks

    Baby is the size of a(n): plum

    Team blue/pink/green: pink

    Upcoming Appointments: today was my first. Now I'm waiting for my appointment at the wellness center next week to try and find out what's up with my digestive system.

    How are you feeling?: Tired in afternoon and still a little sick and tired at night 

    Rants/Raves: Couldn't find heartbeat but my midwife and I both felt baby kick the doppler so she pulled out her portable ultrasound. Still couldn't get heartbeat but we saw her move for sure. I feel flutters daily for the last few days...which seems extremely early but it's been like that for my last few babies.

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  Bring on the pumpkin spice!!!

  • EDD / Weeks + Days: 13 weeks

    Baby is the size of a(n): matchbox car 

    Team blue/pink/green: green!

    Upcoming Appointments: August 15

    How are you feeling?: Same as always. The nausea has been brutal this week.  Also all the anxiety….

    Rants/Raves: I got to go out to brunch twice this past weekend without the kids/family. Forgot I had scheduled with one friend when I scheduled the other one.  It was nice to spend time with friends. I don’t get to do that very often. Rant is I’m just feeling gross right now and I hate how I look and feel. Today as I was leaving (thinking I looked pretty good) my husband says “you’re definitely going to need to get new clothes”  just the emotional lift I needed before going to work…ugh

    Questions: not right now

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?   I love the fall and all things fall.  I love pumpkin flavored stuff but I don’t go crazy about it. But I’m not quite ready for the fall yet.  

  • sophe15 HR here - I think it really depends on you and the kind of role you’re in! I personally would go for it.  A lot of companies post their benefits on their recruitment websites, so you can see what kind of parental leave or support they provide or you can ask the Recruiter/HR team for a rundown of benefits when speaking with them. Some people think it’s “rude” to ask about benefits early, but in todays market, it’s not uncommon and most places want to make their best first impression and tell you all about their offerings! I would tell a potential job about my pregnancy, but not until you are in final stages of interview process and even then, only tell HR or your recruiter. If you are planning to continue to work after baby comes, definitely tell them that as well. A lot of places are willing to hold out for the right person, even if they will be gone for 90 days or whatever that looks like for you earlier on in their role. Just thoughts, for whatever it’s worth!

    EDD / Weeks + Days: Feb 5/ 14w2d

    Baby is the size of a(n): deck of cards I think?

    Team blue/pink/green: green for now, but will be finding out at 20 week scan!

    Upcoming Appointments: 16 week Appt at the end of August, 20 week anatomy scan end of September! Had early glucose screening yesterday due to past GD diagnosis, but only had 1 abnormal reading so hopefully everything is good!

    How are you feeling?: Starting to get back my energy, but now my runny nose (combo of pregnancy and allergies) is kicking my butt and food cravings are really kicking in. I must be lacking calcium in my diet because all I want is cheese (especially mozzarella sticks) and milk. I can’t remember the last time I drank just a glass of milk, but I did tonight and it was so gooooood 🐮 

    Rants/Raves: Rave - I got a promotion! Who says being pregnant hurts your career? Lol. Rant - I realized today my baby (she’s nearly 3) will be in Pre-K by next August and it makes me want to cry 😢 

    Questions: NATM

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  I’d keep summer all year round if I could! I love the long days and warm weather ☀️ 

  • EDD / Weeks + Days:  14w3d

    Baby is the size of a(n): peach 🍑 

    Team blue/pink/green: blue

    Upcoming Appointments: 18wk anatomy scan on September 7 

    How are you feeling?: Pretty ok, although being in the stage where my pants don’t fit but my baby bump still looks more like food baby is not my favorite.

    Rants/Raves: Went baby list making with my husband this evening, and his note taking was impeccable 😂 But for real, it felt good to start to get things planned out and to discuss which features we do and don’t care about. I’m a planner, so starting to make concrete decisions makes me feel so much better.

    Questions: not today

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime? Usually I’d be holding on to summertime, especially the time before students are back on campus and parking gets awful (love the students, hate the parking). But it’s hot and humid here, and while I bought maternity jeans for work, I’m trying to avoid having to buy shorts. So I’m ready for fall weather, if only so I can wear clothes that fit comfortably.

  • EDD / Weeks + Days:  Re-estimated alightly at my last scan so EDD is now jan 19th. 12+3

    Baby is the size of a(n): Kiwi

    Team blue/pink/green: Unless we pay extra for something we won't find out until I'm 20 weeks :o But we are definitely finding out. 

    Upcoming Appointments: NF scan today  <3

    How are you feeling?: Quite good actually. Liking pregnancy more each day. Still a bit tired, and had a tennis match last night only to find out that I'm becoming much slower. Also I'm wrecked after a couple of games, and I've a very intensive training and match schedule this august, playing nearly every day and sometimes twice a d. But nausea is gone, headache is gone, and I'm starting to show a cute lil' bump (noticeable mainly to people who know - and know me) which makes it all much more real. A bit emotional/hormonal still...? 

    Rants/Raves: Weirdly I've got next to nothing. My rant would be that I need to invest in some work appropriate clothes that I can fit, but I'm waiting to get money back from my insurance company so I haven't all that much money to spend.

    Questions: Came home from my match yesterday and could not fall asleep because I was thinking a) about my miserable play, and b) - and this is the question - everything I read says I can keep playing as long as my body allows, if I make sure to hydrate and "listen to my body". But what am I listening for? Exhaustion? Pain? What are the danger signs? I've a background doing sports at national team level and have basically trained myself to disregard all that and go for my goals. Obviously as a hobby player that no longer should apply, but "I'm tired" or "I hurt slightly" just don't really register with me when I play, only after. But obviously I'd rather stop playing now than risk anything for my baby. So what are the signs I need to cut back or stop playing? What are everyone else doing when it comes to playing sports that have a competitive element to them? 

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime? I'm easy when it comes to seasons, I love them all! I feel I missed this summer a bit because I've been so exhausted most of the time, so I wouldn't mind another month or two of summer. But then... The stunning autumn colours! emeraldisle17 Especially Ireland in september! Out of this world!)

    @sophe15I tested positive same week I had my first interview. Two weeks later after a few tests and more interviews I was hired. They don't know yet and will not know until I start in september. Own feelings of guilt aside, I am staunchly of the opinion that you should not be discriminated against for being pregnant, and so I would not have a "deadline" as such. At some point you show, and that will obviously potentially affect their hiring decision, even subconsciously. But other than that, if you are their preferred candidate without them knowing about your pregnancy, you should be after as well. Personally, after 12 weeks when my news would generally be "out", I would inform employers once they called to offer the job. Full transparency, but also not giving them information that they should not (and - in my country anyway - cannot legally) attribute any weight in their decisions. Actually some employers would be upset to be told during recruitment, as the best guarantee of them acting in a non-disciminatory way - which is required by law - is to simply not inform them.  

  • EDD / Weeks + Days: Feb. 21/ 12wk 1d

    Baby is the size of a(n): a plum? Sounds too big to me

    Team blue/pink/green: Team finding out

    Upcoming Appointments: Friday for my NT scan!

    How are you feeling?: Oof. Not great. I've been traveling and I think jet lag is increasing my nausea. I actually puked yesterday for the first time and was like, man! I made it to 12 weeks and now I'm hurling? But I've got some pretzels in the house now so I at least have those to help me through. 

    Rants/Raves:  Rant, see above. Rave, I got to tell my family when we were back in the US and we are telling SO's family when we go to Italy next week so that's all really lovely. I will be telling my kids (8 and 5) this weekend when they come back from their dad's and I'm actually super nervous about that! I'm really hoping that they're going to be excited but I am mentally preparing myself for them to feel conflicted.

    Questions: Anyone else come from or have a blended family? Any advice on helping my kids adjust to the idea of a half-sibling?

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime? I am milking everything I can out of this summer without a baby. Really looking forward to focusing on my big kids on our Italian holiday so I'm happy to wait for fall to come. However, fall is my favorite time of year so I won't be sad when it arrives.

  • edited August 2022
    @sophe15 I’m mostly with @ladykaty91 and @justkp, but with 2 caveats: 1) if you’re in the US, consider what kind of leave you’ll need and be able to get. You’re not (legally) entitled to FMLA or any other extended leave until you’ve been working there a full year (depending on your state), and 2) I assume you’ve considered this but if your job requires safety modifications for pregnancy (like there are things I can’t do while pregnant because they involve radiation or specific chemicals that cause birth defects), you should definitely bring that up before you’re hired. This is also why I told my boss at 7 weeks, as soon as I had my first appointment and the midwife confirmed that everything was ok. The rest of my colleagues didn’t find out until I was 11 or 12 weeks, when there was a specific situation to address.

    Both of these are things you could bring up late in the hiring and interviewing process but before fully committing and leaving your current job, I just wouldn’t wait until you’d already been hired if you already know, and I would definitely ask about taking family/maternity leave before 1 year of employment. They legally can’t discriminate or ask, BUT you’re also legally not guaranteed leave, even unpaid, unless you’ve worked there a full year, and often there’s a 30- or 90-day ‘trial period’ when you can be let go for any reason, so be cautious. And check the laws in your specific state - for example, I believe NY has paid maternity leave as part of the state policy, and may have more protections.
  • fertile-turtle "You’re not (legally) entitled to FMLA or any other extended leave until you’ve been working there a full year (depending on your state)"  Whoa, that's a super harsh rule for new people on the job market, to not be allowed even unpaid leave :open_mouth:  
  • @justkp yeah it sucks that you have to be there a year to get FMLA. You can have unpaid leave but FMLA protects your job so that they can’t give it away while you’re on leave. I literally accepted the job I’m currently at and then got my positive test. I’ve been here just over a month and haven’t told anyone. I’m waiting until my next appointment. Then I will tell them and cross my fingers that they will work with me even though I don’t technically qualify for FMLA. 
  • @justkp it's true - it's a federal law in the US, it's awful! Obviously, your company (especially if private) can do what they want.  I had my son 11 months to the day of starting a new job, and while they did hold my job for the 12 weeks FMLA they were annoyed (I'm still sour over it) and they did not give me the standard 2 weeks pay as a company benefit, which is offered to all other employees who have been there 12 months. I work for a company that is 100% remote so we have employees all over the US, and depending on what state you reside in you can be eligible for even more paid time off (NY, CA, CT, NJ all give 16 weeks at least).  So being in a 12 week state, I asked my job to hold it (unpaid, of course) just so I could get 16 weeks like my coworkers, and they said no.  In my opinion a private company should be treating all employees the same. I understand that is throwing federal rules to the wind, but still, for a women led company I found it to be really poor form.  I am still at the same company and now having been there for well over a year I will be getting the 12 weeks, and they recently (finally) updated their benefit to 12 full weeks paid (assuming you've been there a year), so I am excited about that! 
  • EDD / Weeks + Days: Almost 13W

    Baby is the size of a(n): Ripe apricot 

    Team blue/pink/green: Just found out-  a boy!! Crazy, I’m a little scared, as I’ve been mama to two girls so far. Eek!

    Upcoming Appointments: This week we have a bigger ultrasound appointment at Kaiser and then a high risk OB/GYN appointment at the end of August. I think I’ll be seeing the high risk doc because of my epilepsy until further notice, which is fine with me 😊

    How are you feeling?: I’ve been feeling okay, my stomach problems are easing up a bit finally. I don’t think this heat is helping at all with any of my problems, so I’m hoping it cools off soon…not looking good for that, lol. Starting to bump out a bit, especially by end of day. Kind of looks like a softball right now!

    Rants/Raves: We finally shared with family this week. I’m so glad to not be working for/living close to my parents right now, because they can cause me so much anxiety. My mom is excited, but also overly anxious about the pregnancy. My dad was actually pretty cool with everything, especially when he heard I was going to the high risk doc. Also, busy setting up some home business stuff this week and I’m pretty excited. A friend from high school has had a lot of success with this company, so I’m going to give it my best shot! I really want to be a stay at home mom from here out, and I think this might be the way.

    Questions: Not right now

    GTKY: Are you ready for all things Fall and pumpkin spice or are you holding on to sweet summertime?  I usually love the fall, because in California it’s so fleeting. This fall, not sure if we get to go to Disneyland for any fall-themed celebration, but we’ll probably go find a place to pick apples and get pie!

  • As a teacher it’s even more tough in some districts. Depending on your contract, you’re eligible for the 8 weeks of unpaid maternity leave if you’ve been with that district for a year. You can use your sick time that you’ve accumulated for your leave to be paid, but hopefully you’ve been paying into disability insurance so you can get a portion of your paycheck (again, only if you’ve been there for a year). For me, it’s my first year and we get 10 sick days per year, so that’d cover two weeks of paid leave. If not, your district will use your sick days and then take a daily substitute fee from your monthly paycheck for the days that you’re out (in our district in CA it’s around $200/day). Each contract per district is different, but I was cautioned when I was hired that if I’m pregnant to be prepared for that daily fee by the head of accounting since I was new to that district. 
  • edited August 2022
    @justkp yeah, the US leave policies are TERRIBLE, for everyone not just new parents. Unpaid leave is generally allowed at all stages, but you can lose your position over a long absence, or you may have a limited number of unpaid days you can take. After 1 year, you can take 12 weeks straight of unpaid medical/family leave and they have to keep your job open for when you return.

    Individual companies have their own policies, though, so she may be ok, or maybe she lives somewhere with civilized leave policies. Where I live, there’s no requirement for paid sick or vacation days, which definitely leads to people working when they’re sick and contagious because they can’t afford to not be paid. And daycares start at 6 weeks, but not everyone has the ‘luxury’ of taking a full 6 weeks of unpaid time off, especially if they don’t qualify for FMLA and aren’t guaranteed to still have their job when they come back.

    Having jobs with decent paid maternity and paternity leave was one of the reasons my husband and I decided that now was a good time to start a family. It just sucks to be reliant on a specific company’s goodwill for something so basic. And we waited to stop birth control until I’d been at my new job for a full year just to guarantee that we wouldn’t have any problems with eligibility.
  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    edited August 2022
    @cpk3535 boys tend to be a little sweeter on their moms. And I think you'll have fun going shopping in the other section for a change. In my opinion they are also easier to wipe. 🤣 Congrats!! 🐦🧢,💙
  • agree with both of those statements @seeds_of_joy!  Congrats @cpk3535!  I'm in the throes of 16 month old boy toddlerhood aka just trying to keep this knucklehead alive, which is SO different from when my girl was this age. Yet at the same time he gives the sweetest snuggles and cuddles before bedtime in a way my daughter never did - melts my heart 
  • Oh man, another reason I'm incredibly thankful to be Canadian!

    As long as you've worked anywhere (not necessarily the current employer) for a minimum number of hours within the last year, you get to choose up to 18 months off work, paid a little bit (works out to like 25% for me) or 12 months paid a little more. They legally have to keep a job for you for when you come back. Lots of companies top up your pay to closer to full salary for a number of weeks, too. Mine pays me 80% for the first 15 weeks. Oh and lots of the leave can be shared or split between either parent or you can even both take it at the same time. 

    Did I mention healthcare is free too?

    We do pay higher taxes and our healthcare system is kinda in crisis at the moment but still...

  • angbaby83fertile-turtle @emeraldisle17 @kb1322

    My god, that is wild. I'm a bit stunned to be honest. @emeraldisle17 I kinda get offended on your behalf there, I'm so happy to hear that you will have paid leave with your current child! 

    I'm in a classic 'precariat' kind of business where you are frequently employed on a project to project basis. I'd hardly ever qualify for any type of leave under those terms, that's a super frightening thought! :o The idea that you have to 'earn' the right to not having your employer give your job away while you recover from birth and taking care of your new born is a bit heartbreaking to me. Just the anxiety some people must feel... 

    I hope the future brings amazing rights for working mamas in the States, including those of you who change jobs or get pregnant straight out of college. You all deserve to have peace of mind and financial stability on your maternity leaves, so that you need to worry about nothing else than your families and new borns ❤ 
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