TTC after 35

Is it too late?

krstewart85krstewart85 member
edited August 2022 in TTC after 35
My husband and I got married when I was 34. Shortly after we got married he joined the Navy reserves and was gone for 10 months. So we couldn’t try to get pregnant. Another year gone. We’ve been trying since he got back, I guess a combined total of maybe a year or two, but can’t try every month because something always seems to happen. Either he has to be gone the days we need to try or one month we both got COVID the week we were supposed to try. It’s always something. Maybe it’s a sign. Now I’m 36, 37 in December and I’m thinking I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m so worried of being too old now and having a child with complications since my eggs are old. That fear alone is making me rethink the whole thing. I wish I could’ve found someone when I was younger. Everywhere I read says over 35 is increased risk of everything. Not to mention how much everything costs now, I don’t even know if we could afford a baby. I actually wish I had time to wait a few more years, I’m just not ready but feel forced because of my age. 

Re: Is it too late?

  • No, it’s definitely not too late! I’m nearly 38 and we’re trying (full transparency: I have a 3 year old and had a miscarriage about 6 weeks ago). The idea of a “fertility cliff” is pretty bogus. It’s more of a slope - Emily Oster talks about this in a few of her books where she reviews the empirical literature. Yes, there are some risks that start to increase as we get older, but the likelihood of having a healthy baby still outweighs the risk. I’m an academic and lots of my colleagues are starting families in their late 30s. So you’re in good company 💕
  • Not old at all!

    There is such a weird stigma around our age. I’m also 36, turning 37 in December. I am perfectly healthy and have no doubt I will carry a baby without complications. An interesting study was released (my OB told me about it), where pregnancy related complications; be it the mother or the baby, is commonly due to vitamin deficiencies. She suggested I take prenatals prior to trying and it reduces neurological complications by 60%. I thought that was interesting.

    You have a higher chance of complications at a maturing age, but I know plenty of women in their 40’s who has perfectly healthy children. Don’t let the social stigma of the “old eggs” scare you. We have come so far in understanding fertility in recent years and it’s not nearly as scary as we once thought.

    Keep your head up, you can totally do this!
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  • Don’t give up anything out of fear! I got pregnant @ 37 & 38! Both healthy pregnancy & babies! I’m 41 now & trying actively for baby # 3
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