Anyone struggling?

knottie1780f9152773ce71

This is a vulnerable post, but here it goes. Anyone else struggling with feelings of regret in the first trimester, even though you know you want this baby? We planned for this and are so excited to give our toddler a sibling, but with nausea all day every day for 5 weeks now and feeling so sick and tired I can barely function, I often question whether this was the right move. I know this feeling will pass and I’ll love this baby beyond words. But when the doubt hits it’s really lonely because I feel so guilty for even having the thought. I wonder if anyone else has been though this or if this resonates. I’ll add that I’ve never considered harming myself or the baby. I just feel sad about how sick I feel and how it’s affecting my family, my job, and my life. Thanks for any solidarity you can offer! 

seeds_of_joy

Even though I'm having a hard time physically and emotionally,  I take comfort in knowing this baby is a gift and it is not a mistake. Your baby isn't a mistake either. The feeling will pass. It's completely normal to feel doubt and worry during pregnancy because it's such a big change, bringing another life into the world and our bodies are going through so much! 

justkp

I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, sending warm wishes and internet hugs your way! I can relate, I've been having moments of doubts and worries as well, days where I could barely stand the well wishes of relatives and in laws because I could not share the joy. Which, just like you experience, makes me feel guilty for not being able to feel as happy about it as I should. 

...And this is a very much wanted pregnancy as well. 

Your current feelings will pass, and soon, I hope. So hang in there, mama ❤ Try and rid yourself of the guilt and try to practise acknowledgement and acceptance: 'Today/this very moment I feel doubt. That is also a valid emotion, and it will pass'. I do this when I start to spiral from worry into dread, I feel it helps to name the emotion - if nothing else it helps slightly with the guilt. Because rationally we might know that having doubts is probably normal, but the feeling of it, oh lord! I have even taken to journaling when I have the energy, which is helpful to sort out my emotions. 

(And obviously remember to recognise the good moments as well - when you look at your toddler and imagine how good a sibling they will be etc.)