Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriage 5 years ago, haven't gotten pregnant since

Hello! Although I've been reading forums on here for a few months this is my first time saying anything on here!

Anyway, pretty much about 6 years ago with my ex I had gotten pregnant pretty quickly and had a miscarriage at about 6 weeks. My now husband and I will tell anyone we aren't TTC however the only form of birth control we use is withdrawal method and we aren't careful with timing (for example this past month we did the deed the two days leading up to me ovulating) and I'm due in 3 days for AF with dreams at night of me getting a positive test. I am hopeful every month that I get a positive test although we aren't technically "TTC" but it's pretty much driving me crazy because I'm starting to think I'm in capable considering we've gone 5 years with no protection and I haven't gotten pregnant yet! I brought it up with my doctor and they said they don't want to look into it until we officially say we're ready to have kids, which my husband does not want to "officially" start trying. I did not realize it was effecting me this much until this month, when I saw that we had sex both days before I ovulated and I've tried to see if I've had any symptoms and already took 4 tests and just so badly want to see a positive, anyone else have any similar experiences?

Re: Miscarriage 5 years ago, haven't gotten pregnant since

  • @sagittarius1998 If you aren't trying, and you are using the Pull Out Method, then why would you think you are incapable of getting PG?  You really need to calm down.  If you aren't TTC, you aren't actively trying to get PG, and you aren't DTD fully during your O window, then of course you may not be getting PG!

    Also, you really need to make sure your current partner is on board with wanting a  baby.  If you are ready to try for one, then maybe you need to actually try and test.  If you are both still not wanting to TTC, you shouldn't be taking PG tests regularly around your cycle and trying to symptom spot.  No wonder you're going crazy!
    *TW All the Loss* #BitterHagPartyOf1

    October 2015 - 1st MC.  7-8 weeks along. Suspected molar PG, but luckily just a MMC.

    June 2016 - 2nd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    September 2016 - 3rd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    RE 1: ALL the testing - 'unexplained'  "Yinz can do IVF or try on your own"

    Feb 2017 - 4th MC: 6 weeks

    RE 2: More tests. Still 'unexplained.'  Called fat for an entire hour-long appointment, cried a lot

    Feb 2019 - 5th MC: 6-7 weeks

    IUD - March 2019-March 2023

    RE 3:  Repeat all the tests. Hoping to try IVF.

  • Please ignore the above comment - people are so insensitive! 

    I get this more than you know!! 

    My husband and I were doing the exact same thing for 4 years - pull out without tracking ovulation & no positive tests. Still not TTC - Two weeks ago I randomly took a test and it was positive, I was 4 weeks pregnant and miscarried this weekend. So a bit backwards from your journey - but same thing. I have no risk factors and am 26 for reference.  I think you shouldn’t be concerned about infertility unless you have spoken with your doctor and they have concerns or you have had more than one miscarriage. Mg doc did a transvaginal ultrasound to check on everything and said I’m good to go! Maybe try that? 

    I completely get the fear, though. It’s a good sign you were able to conceive even if you lost the baby. Unless it happens again - I wouldn’t worry. (That’s what my doctors have assured me). 

    My husband also is not TTC, but I so understand the want to be pregnant. I’ve noticed that sometimes it just takes men longer to wrap their head around having a baby. They want everything to be in place for it to happen - which isn’t always realistic! Have a conversation and see if you two can compromise on a timeline to start trying :). You may not fully know until then! I can tell you though, even though my husband is not TTC when I got pregnant a few weeks ago he was beyond supportive and excited. 
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