When to spread the news

stackiez

So my husband and I have been trying for a while and I finally have that positive test. I was so adamant it was a false positive I took another. I'm booked in with my GP and will have the results by end of the week. I'm roughly 5 weeks. When is a good time to tell my family? I don't want to spread the news to soon incase I have to replace it with bad news.

harpseal135

A complete personal choice.  There is no right or wrong answer. You tell when you feel is best. 

swizzlemalarkey

Never

paytonpedro

There’s two sides to this coin. If you don’t want to replace good news with bad news, wait it out until around 12/14 weeks. If you feel like they could be a great support if something happened, then tell them now. You could always just tell a couple people who you feel like would be of support, just in case. 

Personally, I have always waited until around 10/12 weeks and I’ve been selective about who I’ve told that early- or earlier. I don’t make a big announcement and tell people as I see them. 

fertile-turtle

We told our families around 9 weeks, but would have been comfortable after our first ultrasound at 7 weeks. It’s hard to analyze your personal risk and how “safe” you need to be before you tell is a personal choice, but I found this online model with day-by-day risk of miscarriage based on age and a few other factors pretty comforting and helpful. It also has an option that says “reassure me!” And it reframes the statistics as the chance of a healthy pregnancy rather than the chance of loss, which just feels less scary. https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart

Before we told our families, who we knew would be very excited, we told a select few friends who we would have wanted to support us if we got bad news and who we didn’t worry about responding quite as dramatically as our families on either end. If you have a family member or friend that you would want to support you in the face of bad news, you can tell just them and wait to tell the rest.

dainafrances

I started by telling the people I would want/need to support me in case the worst happened, that way if it did, they would be prepared to support me/us either way.