October 2022 Moms

Pregnancy After a Loss (PGAL) July Check-In

EmilyE13EmilyE13 member
edited July 2022 in October 2022 Moms
**Note: TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC and loss.**

Hi PGAL moms. Here’s the new July thread for our monthly check-in. 

Feel free to put milestones, big appointments, questions, worries, loss anniversaries, or anything else on your mind here.

Re: Pregnancy After a Loss (PGAL) July Check-In

  • How’s everyone doing?
    I thought I’d be past this by now, but I still find myself feeling like we’re “jinxing” things by planning our shower, buying baby things, etc. Obviously we need these things, but there’s a part of my mind that almost won’t let me believe we could get to the point of having this baby. It feels like denial, but this baby is so so wanted. It’s hard to explain. Anyone else having similar feelings?
  • I am in the same boat. I have everything picked out but can't bring myself to do anything baby related. 
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  • I was hoping to be really attached to this baby since I didn’t allow myself to be attached to DS’s pregnancy and ended up with post part depression until he was about 18 months. 

    I’m currently 26.3 and I have an anterior placenta. I had an appt on Friday and baby was doing great! But days could go by where I barely feel her move at all because of where she positions herself. I keep telling myself that everything is fine, but my anxiety is through the roof 95% of the time. I explained kick counts to my fiancé and he pretty much disagrees that the baby should kick 10 times every 2 hours. It’s frustrating that everyone keeps telling me to just calm down when the unknown is so unknown. 
  • @kat_vegan87 the anxiety over kicking is very very real- there isn’t an amount that ever seems ok and my anxiety is just going at all times!!
  • Agreed. He will be kicking up a storm but then he will stop and I'll immediately start to panic. It's exhausting.
  • I have the same panicked feeling as you ladies…I’ll feel her move a ton, but when I don’t feel movement or it’s less obvious, I immediately start to worry. Exhausting is right!
  • For some reason feeling really anxious this past week and for no "specific" reason.  I am 27w4d and feel the baby move plenty every day.  But anxiety has crept back up and I find myself so worried at different parts of the day.  We started getting some big baby items in the house and maybe that sparked it?  I've been having thoughts about what happens if we need to return things, etc. and it spirals.  I'm still seeing my therapist weekly and hopefully she can help me through the cognitive part of it.

    Really I just wanted a place to vent and share <3 Wishing you all a great week ahead.
  • I’m feeling similarly but this kid rarely gives me a break from movement, so my anxiety gets preempted from his frequent “beat up mom’s guts and ribs” sessions. For me, I’m getting some sadness about this being my last pregnancy and knowing that no OB in the practice would support me trying for a VBA2C. Then I feel like I’m getting selfish for wishing for a VBA2C and putting myself and him at risk. 
  • I've had decreased movement over the last few days but the movement I feel is enthusiastic. I'm trying not to panic but I am so worried all the time. I can't commit to his room decor at all. 

    You are absolutely not selfish for wanting to VBAC. It's so frustrating that so many OBs won't do it. My sister had two completely unnecessary c sections because of this. It's so frustrating. Is it possible to switch practices? I did with my second because they didn't want to let me VBAC. 

    I'm feeling very sad that this is my last pregnancy. I'm getting a tubal and I feel like I have to or in two years or so I would convince myself in baby number 5. 
  • @krysnicole1022 there’s one doctor in the practice I may try to talk to more about it. I also think I may talk to a doula. Problem is I *do not* go into labor on my own (got to 41+1 last time with my cervix described as a “steel trap” when we finally called it). And I can’t have pitocin to induce due to serious complications from too much of it in my first (failed) induction. Had a postpartum hemorrhage and lost half my blood volume. So, I GET that there are considerations I need to keep in mind. 
  • Have any of you experienced a tightening feeling in your abdomen? It’s not painful but really scares me. 
  • @katiekins029 yes! It's super uncomfortable but I'm pretty sure this happened with every one of my pregnancies around this time. 
  • @krysnicole1022 thank you! As a FTM I have no clue what’s normal and not, haha. 
  • Sometimes it's the baby rolling and pushing but it just feels odd. 
  • @katiekins029 if the tightening goes all the way across the belly it might be braxton hicks contractions which is also completely normal. If it is in one spot and feels like pressure it’s probably the baby pushing in on the spot! 
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