Scheduled C-Section and Older Sibling Questions

snowflake9009

Hey mamas! I’m expecting my second LO in February- I’ve only known for about a week and a half! I have some questions though…

First- I’ll be having a scheduled c-section. My first was born this way and I have no interest in a vbac. So being scheduled… when do most OB’s schedule it for? 40 weeks, or slightly earlier? Also, when during my pregnancy will we make that decision? Is it something you do early on, or just a couple weeks ahead of time?

Second- I mentioned I have one already. She’ll be four and a half when this baby comes. There will be a lot of changes for her, like eliminating a few toys to make room for baby gear again. And they’ll end up room sharing eventually, so we’re buying new furniture for the kids room. What are some ways I can prepare her and make these transitions easier?

knottieba6e3731afc686ec

Had my first visit today and mentioned to my OB that I’m also not interested in VBAC. She said they usually schedule at 39 weeks.

I don’t have a lot of sibling advice (mine is only 1) except maybe getting her some baby dolls to love on and “gifts” from the new baby throughout the pregnancy. Make it exciting for her!

knottie017de7fcc23584be

I have had 2 C-sections and this will be my 3rd. All have been at 39 weeks and I was told at my 1st appointment that this one will also be 39 and we would schedule further into the pregnancy. 

I have 2 girls (9&4) and a 16 year old boy. The 16 year old has never been to excited or worried about the babies, he lives with his mom most of the time. My 9 year old is on the spectrum so her reaction for her 1st sister (the 4 y/O) was just like ok, but once the baby came she was happy and thought baby was cute. They share a room now so we bought new stuff for them and let them pick the bedding they wanted to make it an easy transition. They are 5 years apart so they do fight!. My little that is 4 is very excited about the new baby, we have already explained to her that she can't jump on mommy and that to get the baby out of my tummy I have to have surgery. She has a million questions but so far is just excited to have baby! 

bnbrode

This is my second c-section as well! I’m not sure when they schedule it, maybe a few months in advance? My doctor did tell me though that they usually schedule c-sections at week 39 instead of 40.

My daughter is also four years old! I found a book that is amazing that I read often with her. It’s called big sisters are the best! It reassures the child that the new addition will not take any love away from big sister. I plan to involve her with the baby as much as possible so she doesn’t feel left out.

nwshay

I don't have answers about c-sections but I do have a question:

Any other STM+ who had a previous 4th degree tear? I'm curious on what others have done after that experience. My doctor's have said go the C-section route, but my midwives say that vaginally would be fine. Any thoughts?

I'm on an island that you have to take a ferry to get to, so I'm leaning toward C-section, but minus the horrible tear, my delivery was amazing and I know I could do it again. But tearing again is scary, and accidently missing the ferry and having a car baby also scares me. 

lilswed

Older sibling - my daughter will be 5 when this one is born - I used the app pregnancy+ because it has cool pictures of babies as they grow - it has helped her to connect to the baby by seeing what it looks like and how big it is. 

I’ve also been doing a lot of library books about siblings, talking about my own siblings, and had her help me sort the babies clothes and items. We also do very intentional cuddle time each day with her and visit friends with babies … we’ll see if it works 😬

runningyogimama

@nwshay I had an episiotomy that turned into a 3rd degree tear (not quite a 4th) with my first, and had zero issues with more than normal tearing with my second or third. I would ask a lot more questions and maybe even get a second opinion before agreeing to a c-section for that reason. C-sections are major surgeries with longer and different recoveries. 

Can you be induced, instead, if the concern is the distance you have to travel? I had an induction with my second and third (but was already dilated to 3-4 with both and just needed my water broken), and I had the BEST (and quickest) birth experiences with both of them, and plan to again (I’m an hour away from the hospital….we do have our tiny rural one here in case of emergency, but any OB would be over an hour away, and I tend to deliver quicker than that, so…).

nwshay

@runningyogimama thanks for chiming in with your experience! That's super helpful. I'll definitely get a second opinion. Getting induced could totally be an option, I don't know why not. I'll ask! I'm nervous because I was only in labor for 4 hours with my daughter! If it happens in the middle of the night, I have to be helicoptered off the island, or wait until morning for the next ferry, so that is a real fear. With that said, I think I could totally rock an at home birth, it's just the possible tearing that scares me!