Intense Regret

laurenchristean

Anyone else regret going through ivf? I was an invocell pt and since the beginning my anxiety has tripled. Every single thing they said that would NOT be painful was extremely painful for me. (Saline ultrasound, stim ultrasounds, egg retrieval, transfer) Far more painful than anything I had ever experienced before and lasted days. The shots feel like a breeze compared to anything putting any pressure on my lower abdomen/hips/lower back. I have two daughters already (8&10) and then I got remarried. I had my daughters via C-section at a young age. Now years later I thought I wanted to give my husband a child. I am not sure if it’s just all the hormones but I’m extremely sensitive both physically and mentally. I’m talking just getting out of bed to go to the bathroom is painful and I end up in tears. I had my transfer two days ago and I’m still in horrible pain from it. The doctors office said “well smaller people seem to be more sensitive I’m sorry” but didn’t give me any advice.  I don’t understand how people go through this multiple times. I never would have thought the ivf process could be 10x worse than actually being pregnant. I feel guilty for feeling regret like this but most days I just feel like I’m an incubator for my husband and not even human ya know? 

ttc3y

There were definitely times I felt more like a lab rat than human going through IVF. The sexism also frustrated me greatly in this process. There is so much hyper focus on women in spite of infertility being split 50/50 amongst the genders. However, I’m very grateful that the fertility doctor I chose has a gentle disposition, especially when handling my body. 

I’m sorry you have been going through so much pain. Have you looked into cranial sacral therapy or chiropractic work to see if they could help any body alignment issues? Or maybe massage therapy if it is muscular in nature? If it is pain in general and inflammation, acupuncture might be able help. 

Sometimes conventional medicine doesn’t have the answers for healing but alternative therapies might be more helpful in filling those gaps. 

laurenchristean

I’ve been doing acupuncture regularly but I will definitely check out the other things you recommended! My doctor just called back today and said I have hyperstimulation apparently and that I may feel like this for a few more weeks! Yay for yet another bump in the road on this never ending journey. 🫤

00kim00

Hmm, the regular ultrasounds and transfer shouldn't be painful. Were you conscious for the egg retrieval? I've heard some places do that, but a lot put you under so it's not painful (otherwise, yeah, I'm sure it's painful!). The OHSS would explain the pain now and after stims, but it seems like a late diagnosis... I would hope that's diagnosed before the transfer so they can switch to freezing and give your body time to heal. Healing takes even longer if you end up pregnant. Were internal ultrasounds/pelvic exams painful before stims? If not, the OHSS may explain it all (and shame on the doctor for not catching it sooner and cancelling the cycle!). If things were painful before stims, I'd suggest looking for other causes, such as endometriosis or other issues, and a proper diagnosis and treatment should help. Pelvic floor physical therapy is also great for pelvic pain, assuming it's not just the OHSS. I'm sorry you're going through all this. It's absolutely fine to say enough and not do any more IVF- LOTS of women stop after one because of how hard it is physically, emotionally, and/or financially.