TTCAL w/o 5.9

abjm0325

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status: 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions? 

GTKY: If you plant a vegetable garden, what are your favorite things to grow? 

mambo5-2

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Lots of losses, no known reason, possible funky blood. 

Status: I made the IVF calendar! I get to be on BCP starting this week. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? My period started after a horrible month of cramps. I am really anxious about starting the IVF process, anxious it won't work. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

Questions?  Nope

GTKY: If you plant a vegetable garden, what are your favorite things to grow? We planted green beans and some other stuff. My grandfather used to grow a HUGE garden and I loved going to his house in the summer to raid his garden. 

gingermama29

I hope it’s okay to jump in here before my current loss is official. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. blighted ovum in Jan 2021, CP in August 2021, some sort of imminent miscarriage now

Status: waiting for blood work

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? 

Things are rough. Between having Covid and knowing I’m going to have an imminent miscarriage, I’m not doing well. The current plan is to get blood work again on Wednesday. If my HCG is still rising, I’ll go into the clinic for an ultrasound and an injection of methotrexate to stop the cells from dividing. I’ll also be benched for 2 months. If my HCG decreases, I’ll likely pass everything on my own and won’t have to be benched so I’m obviously hoping for decreased HCG.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Beta on Wednesday to determine plan of action 

Questions? Has anyone ever had methotrexate for an ectopic pregnancy?

GTKY: If you plant a vegetable garden, what are your favorite things to grow? 
Last year was my first year with growing vegetables and fruit. Our cherry tomatoes did great! We planted rhubarb, more cherry tomatoes, and will be planting zucchini too. We also grow strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries.

gingermama29

@mambo5-2 yay for getting on the IVF calendar!! Have you done an ER yet?

mambo5-2

@gingermama29
This will be my first ER and hormone levels will determine Fresh VS Frozen transfer 

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 i haven't been posting much over here, just kinda sticking to the IF thread, but i'm so sorry. i'm here to talk through things if you want... my HCG has taken 8 weeks to get down to 18, just did labs again this AM. it's been a very weird loss for me. feel free to DM me.

maggiemadeit

@mambo5-2 So excited for you that your weird finally came and you are starting your IVF protocols! 

@gingermama29 I’m so sorry you are here again. I hope you see your numbers go down and you can avoid methotrexate.

@anniemarie887 I’m so sorry you are going through a prolonged loss. Mine took 35 days to get below 5 last time and I thought that was a long time. 8 weeks is absolute torture. My heart goes out to you. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Spontaneous loss at 6 weeks in Aug 2021, MMC with D&C at 12 weeks in Feb 2022

Status: TTA this cycle after 2 cycles on the bench

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?  I’ve only had 2 appointments so far, but therapy has been super helpful already. I am starting to feel like I am ready to try again. I need to have this conversation with my husband in the next week before my next cycle starts. I fear it may not go well, but all I’ve got is hope, so I’m holding on to it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

Questions? If you were benched after a loss, how long did it take you to start trying again? How did you know you were ready? 

GTKY: If you plant a vegetable garden, what are your favorite things to grow? I have a huge vegetable garden so it’s hard to choose just one! Tomatoes, asparagus, cabbage, and potatoes are all so amazing from the garden. It’s still too cold to put peppers and tomatoes outside where I live but I cannot wait!

abjm0325

@mambo5-2 I’m sorry for your anxiety! Hopefully IVF is removing so many of the variables that a good embryo will have the chance to thrive.

@gingermama29 I’m sorry you have to be here, but you can always hang out with us! If anyone understands the awful purgatory that comes after a loss, we do. Fingers crossed the HCG decreases on its own. I don’t have experience with methotrexate, but hopefully someone else can chime in.

@maggiemadeit I’m so glad therapy has been been working for you. I think talking to your H is a good idea, but maybe go in knowing it might take him a cycle or two to be ready? I know waiting is awful, but mentally preparing yourself for that possibility might soften the blow if he is reticent. I was ready to try again quicker than my H, but I would give him a week or so to think and then I would bring it up again so we could keep the conversation going and keep it on his radar. He eventually got there too, but it took time.  

abjm0325

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC @ 8 weeks in Aug. 2021, CP in Dec. 2021

Status: WTO (maybe benched)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? The RE appointment went okay, but he wants me benched until they can do an HSG. I don’t really want to do that, so I’m struggling with whether to trust the doctor’s expertise or go with my gut that an HSG isn’t going to show anything. To be fair, the doctor also seems to think we won’t see anything and he is just wanting to do it first to check that off as a possible problem.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Possibly the HSG next cycle

Questions? If anyone has any insight regarding HSG, I’d welcome your thoughts.

GTKY: If you plant a vegetable garden, what are your favorite things to grow? Banana peppers and cherry tomatoes! I also like to grow lettuce, but I cheat and get starters from my in-laws.

mambo5-2

@maggiemadeit
I was Benched after I lost my twins, it was so sucky. Waiting for my HCG to drop, making sure my period came back.  Having normal cycles. It was all just crappy.  I saw a therapist then and he sucked, I didn't love him. I knew I was ready when my desire to try again outweighed my fear of trying again.  Which is kind of how I ended up in this place where we are doing IVF, my desire to have a baby has outweighed my fear of everything that can go wrong and what I have experienced in the past.  Am I still scared?  Absolutely every day, but I am ready to cope with the crappy to try again. 

@abjm0325 I responded in the IF tread regarding the HSG, but like I said there I would do it just in case. What if you have a funky fibroid or a blocked tube, stranger things happen.  I have a fibroid and the HSG's always show its still the same and small.   I have obviously been benched for 2.5 months so girl I feel not wanting to be benched in my SOUL. 

gingermama29

@anniemarie887 thank you friend. I’m so sorry for all the BS you’re dealing with from your loss and the HCG levels. Sending extra hugs. Is methotrexate your next step?

@maggiemadeit I’m so glad therapy is helping you! I got benched for 3 months after my loss in Jan ‘21 though we didn’t actively prevent. I felt ready to start again sooner than I was able to start fertility meds. It’s different for everyone. I hope the conversation goes well with YH.

@abjm0325 its weird that he wants to bench you for that procedure. I did my HSG on CD 11 after doing Letrozole in November. I ended up redosing that cycle because I wasn’t on a high enough dose but my RE didn’t bench me at all. Something worth asking about?

AFM, I just got my HCG results back today and it stayed at 104, which is what it was on Monday. I’m hoping that means I won’t have to do methotrexate tomorrow since it didn’t go up at all but I’m waiting to hear back from my RE.

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 i am going in for an ultrasound at 3 today, once we see what/if anything is going on in there i think it will determine next steps. 

gingermama29

@anniemarie887 thinking of you and hoping all goes well today.

abjm0325

@gingermama29 The RE seems very old school and conservative in his approach. He seemed worried that I will get pregnant again and then miscarry again before we can do all the testing, so he seemed to want to remove any possibility of that happening. I understand on one hand, but I am not sure I will be abiding by that. I need to call about some blood work results anyway, so I think I'll ask more questions. 

gingermama29

Another update: since my number stalled at 104, my RE wants me to get another beta tomorrow. Same plan: if it goes up, I go in for the Ultrasound and methotrexate. If it goes down, we cancel the appointment and monitor my levels back to 0. I’ve seen the phlebotomists so much over the last two weeks, I should get frequent flier miles. My arm has a bruise from all the blood draws.
My mom is super sweet though and has offered to go with me so I don’t have to go by myself (DH can’t get off work) with the plan that we’ll both wear a mask in the car since I’m still all covidy (though FINALLY improving thanks to the antivirals my doctor prescribed yesterday).

acleverusername

@gingermama29 did you get your latest beta #s? 

gingermama29

@acleverusername I dropped from 94 to 87 yesterday and my RE was okay with watching my numbers and waiting on methotrexate. I actually started cramping and bleeding today so it looks like I’m miscarrying on my own, which means I won’t have to be benched.

acleverusername

Finally some "good" news (relatively speaking, of course.)

gingermama29

More “good” news: my HCG dropped from 87 on Saturday to 9 today. No medical intervention needed!

acleverusername

@gingermama29 so happy for you!

maggiemadeit

@gingermama29 That’s great news, happy to hear that you won’t need any intervention.