Daycare

bows22

I saw this brought up on the check in thread and thought it might be a good topic of conversation  

STMs, what are some things you would recommend looking for in a daycare that you may or may not have thought of before you had a LO?

FTMs, what questions do you have as you are searching?

mcclanna

Honestly the wait lists in NJ are so long that I can’t afford to be picky. I’ve joined local FB groups and going off of recommendations that other local moms have shared and only joining those wait lists. Otherwise, the most important thing to me right now is open hours. Closing at 5:30pm for this FT working mom is too early. 

I’ve heard some concerns about lack of mask restrictions and vaccination levels of the staff, if that’s something that’s important to you might be a question for consideration. 

EmilyE13

@mcclanna my current daycare through my work has those hours currently and it’s terrible. They charge by the minute if you’re late, too. They made that restriction during COVID (used to be 6) and haven’t been able to lift it due to staffing. Granted, they are basically on campus where I work, so I can cut it pretty close to get there, but lawyer hours often are way later than that. 

The problem is they’re otherwise a fantastic facility with STEM-focused learning and wonderful staff, and I can’t bring myself to attempt to switch them out. 

fichey

Daycare is insane where we live in terms of price and waitlists. And none of them around us are masking, only one or two has said staff is fully vaccinated. My husband and I are both working from home for at least the next 2 years, so at this point we're considering a part time nanny instead. I have to travel a bit for work once I get off mat leave, so we definitely need some kind of care. Family is too far away to help, so I'm hopeful that we can find someone that fits with our schedule. I don't even know what questions to ask so I'm just starting to put those priorities together.

krysnicole1022

As a former nanny I absolutely think a part time nanny is a great option especially for newborns with no immune systems. I actually have friends who send their four year old to daycare but hired a nanny for their newborn for the first year. I nannied part time pretty frequently and that worked well for me. You will also have someone for date nights that is familiar with the baby. That's always a bonus. 

fichey

@krysnicole1022 Any advice on what to ask looking for a nanny? Or things that you would look out for having been one? I could totally see us sending her to daycare later, but knowing myself I'll worry so much less if she's close for as long as we can manage!

krysnicole1022

Be upfront about it being part time and potentially short term (like a year). Ask if they are okay with doing the occasional date nights. The one thing that I didn't like about nannying when parents worked from home was the parents constantly coming in and out which kind of took any authority I had away. This isn't really an issue with an infant. That's more of a toddler thing. I would find someone who is comfortable taking them to the park and stays active. See if they are comfortable doing baby classes as they get older. That way you and your husband can have some quiet. Mostly just try to find someone who doesn't screw around on their phone while ignoring the kid after they've plopped them.in front of the TV. 

krysnicole1022

Oh and they need to listen to instructions and actually read any information available. I had a sitter and I left a bunch of information (food they could have and allergy information etc) and she never bothered to look at it or check for the epipens. I told her all the allergy information was in there and location of the meds etc and to never give her any food brought into the house. She later tried to sneak her candy and my daughter refused and told us later. 
A part time nanny job would be really great for a college student who is studying early childhood education. 

fichey

That's all super helpful--thanks! I definitely tend to over-prepare and would be so bothered if someone completely disregarded my notes. We're on vacation right now and I left a whole packet for our catsitter, so I know if someone ignored the baby binder they'd never be coming back. 

sandy5693

I'm really nervous about picking a newborn/infant day care.  Most of my choice will likely depend on timing/price/location, but it is so hard to imagine not being worried all the time!  Really hoping my in laws will babysit part of the week, but I'm not sure if it will logistically work out.

krysnicole1022

@fichey I loved binders when I nannied. The more information the better. I also always had a notebook to go back and forth for daily notes. 

pangolindrome

There is literally no daycare where I live. It shut down with Covid and then never opened back up (I believe one teacher had to quit because their kid needed them, but there were also more reasons)... but it's also a very religious area, so I don't know if I'd be comfortable. I really don't know and am truly hoping this doesn't become a problem we have to deal with.

relizabethp

I have always used nannies and i will continue to do so with this baby! For us it was in large part due to my husband’s job- he owns his own business so we couldn’t rely on him to have a normal schedule which could cause a lot of issues trying to accommodate a daycare, but we also loved the freedom my daughter had with her nannies. Most days they went out on adventures and played - some days they stayed in there pjs and vegged out. There was no pressure to have to adhere to a schedule, which I preferred. If you are hiring a nanny I suggest you create a contract which outlines their duties and job functions , also make sure it includes pay arrangements. I asked every single person we interviewed for a position  what they considered to be appropriate discipline and i made sure to ask so I could emphasize that we wouldn’t accept any physical form of punishment at all. Beyond that I think communication is key and making sure you treat your nanny with respect and care ! 

krysnicole1022

Those are absolutely great points but having been friends with a bunch of nannies they will basically tell you what you want to hear to get the job. I don't do physical punishments even if that was something a parent did. I also refused to participate in sleep training. One time I gave in when some parents asked me to just let their son cry and I warned them against it. Five minutes of crying and the kid (14 months) ended up working himself into such a state he vomited everywhere.  I always answered that it's not my kid and I will discipline how they do for consistency and structure as long as there was no physical punishments. This is why I loved binders of information and having daily check in notebooks. I nannied for a lot of families long term which I loved.