Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Mother’s Day before D&C

My husband of 7 months and I (40f) found out in March we were expecting, what would be the first child for us both. We went to our 6 week appt and had an ultrasound, saw the heartbeat, and everything checked out great. We were thrilled, and announced shortly after to our parents (first grandchild for mine) and a few close friends.

Yesterday, at almost 11 weeks, we had our second appt and saw the ultrasound. There was very clearly no heartbeat, and measuring at only 9 weeks. We’re devastated. I still feel pregnant and had no symptoms that would have indicated anything was wrong. We’ve been talking to baby and planning it’s room in our new place, all the while not knowing it was already gone. The soonest they could get me in for a D&C is Monday, so to add insult to injury I have to carry almost another week, plus knowing the last day will be Mother’s Day is sending me on an emotional tailspin. I can’t imagine leaving the house, or even the bed for that matter. I’m afraid to even close my eyes because all I see is that ultrasound screen again. It’s like we’re living a waking nightmare… Between processing the loss, carrying this baby that’s already gone, and fears about the D&C procedure, I honestly have no idea how people get through this. 😢

Re: Mother’s Day before D&C

  • I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I had a MMC that was found at 11 weeks in February, and I also had to wait a full week to have the D&C. Carrying a baby you know is not viable is a living hell. I took the week off of work, stayed home and cried. The D&C procedure was easy though, which was a blessing. I know it all feels like too much, and it absolutely is more than any person should have to experience. You are stronger than you know, and you will get through this terrible time. Sending you a ton of love and support. 
  • I had my d&c today. Same boat as you last appointment heartbeat was strong at 153 and yesterday no heartbeat at 15 weeks. It’s heartbreaking and traumatizing but you can get through this. My story is a little different so I’m sort of at peace but I hope you find yours. <3
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  • I also had a MMC, but in October at what should have been 10 weeks but was 8 due to an allergic reaction to my pregnancy. Had to have a second DnC due to retained products. I worked for my doctor though so I had a great network there and at home. It took us nearly 5 months for my HCG to go back to normal. We promptly had a chemical pregnancy and 2 weeks after losing that one, I am now 5.5 weeks with a seemingly healthy one.

    I know it's hell right now and literally nothing but time will help, love. We took a family trip to Florida and that helped me a lot, just being out and happy gave me hope but even now there is still sadness and fear.
  • I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’d say I know exactly what you’re going through as pretty much your whole story went how mine did. It brutal. I can’t even sugar coat it. It’s my 2nd MC almost back to back so giving it a couple months to heal (emotionally and mentally) before we start trying again. I wish you all the best and try and keep your chin up, though it seems impossible at times 💔
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