New to IVF/FET questions

medp87

Hi everyone! I’m new to this board and also new to IVF (currently in the first cycle). I just had my egg retrieval on 3/31 and we’re doing genetic testing and FET. Based on what our fertility clinic has said, it sounds like we can expect the FET to happen mid-late May. 4 of my eggs fertilized and 3 of these got to the blastocyst stage for biopsy so we’re cautiously optimistic but still very anxious. After doing several weeks of injections and then the retrieval, I’m feeling pretty anxious with this long waiting period without anything happening and am just wondering if anyone who has had a similar situation could give me an idea of what to expect and any tips (especially emotional ones) during this time. Thank you!

enaids

I am just about to start Stims for retrieval and we're going to be doing an FET too. I didn't realize until today that it would be such a wait! I thought the transfer would happen within the cycle after the retrieval. But it sounds like it will be in the following cycle.

Has anyone ever done a frozen transfer within the cycle after retrieval? 

I'll be following this post for tips too. Sending you all the baby vibes! 

microlady

Hi enaids. I totally understand the frustration of waiting!

I’m not a doctor or anything but this is what I understand. My understanding is that if you do the transfer in the same cycle, it’s done as a fresh transfer. From my research it’s in our best interest to wait for the next cycle to do the FET. It gives your body time to reset and studies have shown that the FETs actually have a higher success rate than fresh transfers. It seems like they think it’s because your body has time to reset and be given the appropriate hormones to get a receptive lining. Of course if you need to do or have chosen to do PGT testing, you will want those results first. There is also a possibility that your doctor may suggest a mock cycle depending on how many embryos you get.

Here are a couple of episodes from a podcast I have found really helpful. I haven’t listened to these two episodes in a while but they may help you or you may find something else in their list of episodes that could help.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fertility-docs-uncensored/id1502193756?i=1000472227643

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fertility-docs-uncensored/id1502193756?i=1000538338461

Wishing you the best of luck!

microlady

Hi mdp1216. Congrats on making it through your stim! I have not gotten to where you are at yet, but my husband and I will also be waiting on genetic results like you are when we do. I have experienced a lot of waiting as we have been working with our REI for a year now. We started a stim a few weeks ago and would have been doing the retrieval about when you did but had to cancel half way through because things were not progressing they way the doc wanted. It was really hard to wait for even a week to talk to the doctor and find out what happened and what our next steps would be. I struggle with the anxiety of not knowing the next steps or answers as well. I sometimes find myself going down the rabbit hole of what ifs. What helps me is to remind myself what is and is not in my control and to be patient. I would take the time to do some self care, like yoga (if your body is up for it) or breathing exercises to relax a little (or whatever you find relaxing). Or I distract myself with a small project at home. Organizing a closet or crafting or baking or some other sort of hobby. I also found that once the loads of hormones settled down from the injections, I felt significantly better mentally. Anyway, I’ll probably be looking to you for the same advice when I’m waiting for our genetic results! Best of luck to you!

mojoflower

Hi friends! Yes the waiting stinks! And everything said is correct. If you are doing a Frozen transfer you must wait until your next cycle. Also to give you a heads up if you are doing genetic testing that does take about two weeks, but a question I wish I had known to ask is, is there a certain day of the week you ship embryos. On my last IVF cycle. We got the call on day 6 that I had two embryos, day 6 was a Monday. I didn’t realize it but my clinic sends out embryos on Fridays so it ended up taking almost 3 weeks to get results. Your doctor might also decide to do an ERA which is when they test your lining so that they can better predict the correct window for implantation. If you do an ERA, that is during one cycle and so you have to wait for another one in order to transfer. So now I mentally prepare myself that it is going to be 2-3 months after retrieval so I’m excited when it is earlier! This is a mental toughness game! 

Emotionally for me, staying active on these boards helps because it was the only place that I could be honest with what I was going through. It helped/ helps me not feel so freaking alone. Keep us updated! Rooting for quick and positive FETs for everyone!

microlady

@mojoflower thanks for that tip on asking when the embryos are sent! I would not have thought about that. Our genetic testing lab also said two to three weeks once they get the embryos.

I agree with your idea to overestimate how long things will take so you are not disappointed! I do this too :)

Have you done the ERA before? If so what was your experience like? Did you find it gave you peace of mind? I have read and my doc confirmed that the research says it may or may not be helpful. Some docs do it regularly and some leave it up to the patient.

enaids

@microlady thanks for the podcast recommendation! I've already listened to a couple of episodes now. Really informative!

microlady

You’re welcome! I love listening to those ladies. It’s almost like getting a second opinion sometimes. :)

mojoflower

@microlady I did do an ERA before my last transfer. My doctor said since I only had one embryo he wanted to take every step to make sure we did it on the right day. That being said it came back normal and so nothing changed. Which is good. I asked about it this round and he said that he only has to do it once so we won’t be doing it again. 

It was uncomfortable but not painful. The thought of what he was doing was worse than it actually felt. Like if I was told that my baby was moving around in my stomach and then had the same “uncomfortableness” I wouldn’t have thought it was bad! But I did cramp for a few days after. Less than a normal period cramp though. 

Hope this helps 😁

drgsmart

Can you tell me what FET stands for? I go for my baseline ultrasound on the 28th and my retrieval will be somewhere around May 17 or so.

swebster_3302022

Wishing everyone the best here! Waiting is one of the worst parts of all of this. I started walking more and journaling. Both have helped me feel more at peace. 

I appreciate the info on the ERA, my RE doesn’t seem to do them but I’d prefer to get as much info as possible. 

microlady

@mojoflower thank you for sharing your experience with the ERA! I try to stay off of google for these things because I will just freak myself out, but I do like to be prepared. My doctor will probably take a similar approach to yours where it’s probably not necessary if we have a few embryos, but recommended if we only get one.  Starting our next stim today! Hoping to make it to the retrieval this time how are you doing with waiting for your genetic testing results? Hope you are staying healthy and positive.

@drgsmart FET stands for frozen embryo transfer. Good luck with your stim next month!

mojoflower

@microlady sending all the love for good stimming! I know that must have been frustrating to have to stop last time. Remember that each round is different and this time your body can respond completely differently. Please keep letting us know how your perfect and beautiful follicles are doing. I want to celebrate with you. 

AFM my little embryo results came back as abnormal. 😔 so I’m trying to decide what to do next. I might want to change doctors. But not real sure who to change to. Trying to shake off comments from others including my DH that are probably completely fine and normal to say but I’m so freaking sensitive. Everything hurts. My dominoes delivery last night was missing part of the order and I cried. It felt personal. 🤪 like even my pizza was choosing to be delivered to another house/womb. Writing this down helps. 💜

microlady

@mojoflower I will be sure to keep you all updated hoping things will be different this time as we are making some minor adjustments.  It’s amazing how much better I feel after a few extra weeks of waiting to start and processing my emotions from the last cycle.

I'm so sorry about your PGT results. 😢 Definitely understand how you feel about everyone saying what they think is helpful and not being able to internalize it that way. And thanks for sharing your pizza delivery story! This sounds like something I would do if my order was messed up after disappointing news (or even just under normal circumstances if I was really looking forward to it🤪).  In fact I’m pretty sure I did cry over something like that after our canceled cycle I just don’t remember what it was that set me off.  I’m sure it was something really silly (I’ll write it down next time so I can share!).  But we have to allow ourselves to grieve and process however feels right in the moment so that we can pick up and try again!

As far as considering another clinic, I think sometimes it is about finding a good match for you and your fertility doc/clinic team and you may decide that’s the best move for you to have a fresh start. If it were me I’d need to give myself a few weeks to process the news and feel a little better before I could find the energy to invest in finding a new clinic and getting established with them.  I’m working with the clinic my ob/gyn referred me to based on my insurance, so I haven’t tried to search for one or met with any others to compare.  If you decide you want to look at other clinics and want some extra support, I’m happy to help you research what stats to look at and recommended questions to ask.

Writing things out helps me too. Keep posting and sharing. We are all here to support you!

medp87

Thanks so much for the input everyone! It really does help to be able to discuss this with people who truly understand what we’re going through. Luckily our genetic test results came back quickly and we got good news so now just waiting until my next cycle starts so we can begin the transfer process. I haven’t had an ERA - not sure if it’s something they’ll want to do once they start checking the lining or not. The waiting has been tough and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it would be sooner after the retrieval. We ended up getting our test results back sooner than expected so we asked about transferring this cycle but our doctor felt safer doing it in the next one (she mentioned something about a higher chance of ovarian cysts following egg retrieval and also -like some of you mentioned- just waiting for everything to reset). Hoping to have the transfer between May 23 and 31 (fingers crossed). Sending positive vibes to all of you!!