Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
monni24
member
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Waiting is the Hardest Part
monni24
member
My husband and I were surprised to find out that I was pregnant. I have 2 children from IVF and FET. My FET was twins and we sadly lost one of our babies at 3 weeks old when I delivered at 26 weeks. I have had 2 miscarriages from pregnancies that we conceived without medical help. We knew this would have been such a long shot to have a happy and healthy pregnancy. At 4w5d my HCG was 2017. I was pretty excited since I have never seen HCG levels on my own this high.
Flash forward to 5w and it is 3511. My levels did not double, only at a doubling rate of 49.6% every 2 days with 66 hours between the two tests. My 1st pregnancy through IVF doubled perfectly. Not a good sign.
Two days ago I started having a lot of gas and cramping. Not double over the pain but my period is coming pain. Not a good sign.
Today I woke up with vanishing symptoms, my nausea is gone and so is the cramping. I just feel nothing. I always have nausea during all my pregnancies. Not a good sign........again.
So now I have to wait...... wait and go to an ultrasound on Friday at 5w5d to get the bad news that I will miscarry if I don't start spotting and bleeding before then. Then I have to go through the process, pain, and anticipation of miscarry again.
I am trying to let myself feel and process what is happening. I don't want the sadness to come because then I know hope will be gone. But I know I will miscarry in my head. It is just letting my heart catch up to the process.
I write this not for sympathy. We are all suffering and scared and trying to cope as best we can.
I just write this to say what I don't want to say to others and to let anyone else who is going through this process know that you are not alone.
Flash forward to 5w and it is 3511. My levels did not double, only at a doubling rate of 49.6% every 2 days with 66 hours between the two tests. My 1st pregnancy through IVF doubled perfectly. Not a good sign.
Two days ago I started having a lot of gas and cramping. Not double over the pain but my period is coming pain. Not a good sign.
Today I woke up with vanishing symptoms, my nausea is gone and so is the cramping. I just feel nothing. I always have nausea during all my pregnancies. Not a good sign........again.
So now I have to wait...... wait and go to an ultrasound on Friday at 5w5d to get the bad news that I will miscarry if I don't start spotting and bleeding before then. Then I have to go through the process, pain, and anticipation of miscarry again.
I am trying to let myself feel and process what is happening. I don't want the sadness to come because then I know hope will be gone. But I know I will miscarry in my head. It is just letting my heart catch up to the process.
I write this not for sympathy. We are all suffering and scared and trying to cope as best we can.
I just write this to say what I don't want to say to others and to let anyone else who is going through this process know that you are not alone.