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I hate feeling like this.

knottie024460fc5bbc0ec4knottie024460fc5bbc0ec4 member
edited April 2022 in Trying to Get Pregnant
It feels like everyone around is getting pregnant, family members, friends, colleagues. Everyone BUT me. I want to be happy for them but all I think about is that it should of been me. I should of been 38 weeks today, I should be getting ready to go on labor in 2 weeks. I should have a big ole belly with a lil baby moving around.  But no, all I think about is the miscarriage and I just keep finding others around me getting pregnant. I really hate this. 
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Re: I hate feeling like this.

  • firecracker_mamafirecracker_mama member
    I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm a big advocate for mental health. Have you spoken with a counselor to help process these feelings that you're having?
    FTM
    July 4th
    Report Reply
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  • acleverusernameacleverusername member
    @knottie024460fc5bbc0ec4, if you join this community, we have a very active/supportive TTCAL (TTC after loss) weekly thread that can be an excellent source of support. 

    TTC History
    TTC#2
    Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
    Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
    May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
    Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
    Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
    Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
    Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
    Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
    Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
    May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026


    TTC #1
    Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
    2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
    07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
    07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
    07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
    08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
    09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
    10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
    11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
    01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
    02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 
    03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
    04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
    04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
    05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
    05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 
    06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
    07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
    08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
    09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
    11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
    12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
    01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
    02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
    03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
    05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 
    06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
    07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023


    Report Reply
  • primordial_gooprimordial_goo Newbie
    I know it's beyond rough. Try to stay positive & believe with all your heart that the next time will be a success. Patience is key. Sending prayers to you & your womb. 🙏✨
    Report Reply
  • primordial_gooprimordial_goo Newbie
    edited April 2022
    @acleverusername Patience is what yields results for a lot of people who struggle with infertility. It doesn't mean give up. Having a defeatist attitude is counterproductive. Don't be so hostile.
    Report Reply
  • acleverusernameacleverusername member
    @primordial_goo what's your infertility story? 

    TTC History
    TTC#2
    Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
    Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
    May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
    Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
    Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
    Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
    Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
    Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
    Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
    May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026


    TTC #1
    Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
    2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
    07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
    07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
    07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
    08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
    09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
    10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
    11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
    01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
    02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 
    03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
    04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
    04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
    05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
    05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 
    06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
    07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
    08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
    09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
    11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
    12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
    01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
    02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
    03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
    05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 
    06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
    07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023


    Report Reply
  • primordial_gooprimordial_goo Newbie
    @acleverusername You first 😉
    Report Reply
  • acleverusernameacleverusername member
    edited April 2022
    You can read it in my signature.

    If you've experienced infertility, you'd know that if a friend told you to "be patient", you wouldn't talk to that friend much. Since you think it's OK to say that to an infertility patient, then you clearly haven't experienced it yourself. Happy for you to prove me wrong though. 

    Also, this:




    TTC History
    TTC#2
    Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
    Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
    May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
    Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
    Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
    Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
    Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
    Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
    Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
    May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026


    TTC #1
    Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
    2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
    07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
    07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
    07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
    08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
    09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
    10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
    11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
    01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
    02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 
    03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
    04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
    04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
    05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
    05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 
    06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
    07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
    08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
    09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
    11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
    12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
    01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
    02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
    03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
    05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 
    06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
    07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023


    Report Reply
  • primordial_gooprimordial_goo Newbie
    @acleverusername Well, I said zero of those things on your list & I'm not trying to "prove you wrong." People have different personalities & different ways of conveying encouragement. Were you not taught that patience is a virtue? I was, so sorry if that offends you. Again, maintaining hope (unachievable w/o patience) is infinitely better than being discouraged. That being said, I'm sincerely sorry that you struggle. I mean that. I understand it's a sensitive topic. But, when you have women around the world overcoming seemingly impossible odds, all the time, there is still hope for you, me & others. I choose to believe that, unapologetically.
    Report Reply
  • acleverusernameacleverusername member
    Please stop throwing clichés around, not matter how well-intentioned they are.

    TTC History
    TTC#2
    Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
    Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
    May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
    Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
    Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
    Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
    Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
    Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
    Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
    May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026


    TTC #1
    Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
    2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
    07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
    07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
    07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
    08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
    09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
    10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
    11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
    01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
    02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 
    03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
    04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
    04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
    05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
    05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 
    06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
    07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
    08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
    09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
    11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
    12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
    01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
    02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
    03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
    05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 
    06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
    07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023


    Report Reply
  • acleverusernameacleverusername member
    Girls (@inthewoods23 @stormageddon-darklordofall) I was gonna summon you, but you appeared all on your own!!! 😘

    TTC History
    TTC#2
    Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
    Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
    May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
    Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
    Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
    Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
    Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
    Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
    Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
    May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026


    TTC #1
    Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020
    TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
    2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
    07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
    07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
    07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
    08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
    09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
    10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
    11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
    11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
    12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
    01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
    02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 
    03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
    04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
    04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
    05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
    05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 
    06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
    07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
    08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
    09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
    11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
    12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
    01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
    02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
    03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
    05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 
    06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
    07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023


    Report Reply
  • primordial_gooprimordial_goo Newbie
    @acleverusername Ha! You can call "seeking mental help" a well-intended cliché. Btw, your administrator friend removes unwanted comments on your behalf. That's not playing fair 😆 So, what I said about the site holding our posts hostage to appear more active must be TRUE. Like I said, a simple internet search will show you complaint after complaint & I wouldn't be surprised if the same ppl on here use different accounts. Aren't you tired? 😅 I kid. But srsly, I can 👀 that this site is to reinforce each other's frustrations & not much anything else. @stormageddon-darklordofall Wow girl, I know this means absolutely ziltch to you, but I'm sad to hear all that happened to you. That is beyond comprehension. You're right, I can't relate to or begin to understand your pain. Everyone's story is different. My goal wasn't to mess ppl up with a single word, but, alas, it did. Touché, ladies.
    Report Reply
  • optimistgardeneroptimistgardener member
    yo @primordial_goo no one is forcing you to post here. we get that you don't like our style. cool, move along then.
    History
    I am doing this on my own. Left ovary and fallopian tube removed due to cyst/necrosis just after birth. Right ovary and tube still purport to function.
    Began TTC in Aug '18 @ age 35
    5 or 6 (or 7?!) cycles using frozen donor sperm, ICI. All BFN
    Mar-Jun '19 IUIs, all BFN
    Began process of referral for RE in spring of '19, blood tests confirm low AMH (.54) but all else is good.
    May '19 HSG shows open tube, but ultrasound suggests fibroids
    MRI in June '19 confirms two large fibroids, one growing through wall of uterus
    In June '19 I move from California to Oregon, disrupting my insurance, referrals, etc. 5 months spent piecing it all back together.
    Nov. '19 attempted myomectomy (vaginal approach) failed. 2nd surgery using laparoscopic method in Jan '20 is successful.
    April '20 --> June '20, natural IUIs, all BFN.
    July? saline ultrasound and bubble test demonstrate open tube
    July '20 clomid cycle cancelled for thin lining
    Aug-Oct, 3 femara cycles, all BFN
    RE referral. While waiting to set up an appointment Nov-Jan,I continue with natural cycles and ICI, using a known donor, BFN...
    Jan '21 more bloodwork, AMH is worse (.30), FSH high albeit not catastrophic at 13.2. hysteroscopy all good. "looks cozy!" says the RE.
    Feb '21, injectables (menopur, novarel), iui, BFN (doc said the frozen donor sperm sample had the "best numbers she'd ever seen!")
    Mar '21, injectables, iui cancelled due to lack of follicles, converted to at home-insem. BFN
    May '21, first IVF round cancelled due to cyst.
    July '21 IVF: standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 7; 6 days of stims. 8 eggs retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilize, 4 made it to blast. 3 are 4AB, 1 is 4BB. PGT-A results all abnormal.
    Oct '21 somewhat improved AMH (.51) and significantly improved FSH (8.9). Maybe it's all the pills I swallow.
    Dec -21, standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 5; 11 days of stims. retrieval yields 5, 4M, 2 reach day-6 blast (4AB & 4BB). 1 low-level mosaic (chr. 3 deletion), 1 complex abnormal.
    Feb '22 FET (low-level mosaic): CP.
    May '22 egg retrieval, lupron flare protocol. HGH priming for 1 month before stims; md lupron 20/20u daily; menopur 225, follistim 225, 10k trigger after 8 days of stims; AFC 10; 13 retrieved; 10 mature; 8 fertilized. All frozen at 2PN for later thaw, grow, and biopsy.
    July '22 egg retrieval same protocol: 9 days of stims; AFC 8; 10 retrieved, 8 mature, 4 fertilized and frozen.
    Sept '22 ER same protocol: AFC 10; 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 11 fertilized.
    From the 3 retrievals, 7 survived to day 5-6 blastocyst, from which I have 2 normal embryos!
    Jan 20, Fully medicated FET, baby aspirin, dexamethasone, acupuncture, and as much woo as I can stand (which isn't very much). BFN.
    July 23, Natural FET + baby aspirin. BFN.
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  • inthewoods23inthewoods23 member
    @acleverusername I couldn't resist. Sure I had patience in the process.... But that doesn't do anything for the fact that I had to delve into a medical science most doctors don't believe in to find answers! Also YGPM lol
    *TW* History
    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 | all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC ended due to filing divorce

    **New relationship starting May 2024**

    Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
    Its Gonna Be May GIFs Tenor
    Report Reply
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