Proposal for Board Organization

PurplePumpernickel

Hi folks! So it seems like The Bump has changed a bit since I was last pregnant five years ago, and I had a thought. I know we have the Big Question Thread, which is great for quick, one-off questions, and the product rec threads each week. I understand the desire to keep things organized so we don't have 12 car seat threads. However, I think there are a lot of questions that seem one-off but create fruitful discussions that would seem too lengthy in the question thread. One example is the poster asking about when we're all telling our workplaces about our pregnancy. That would be a great discussion, with the potential for a lot of posts and different viewpoints and approaches!

I also think that the continual encouragement for posters to add their questions to the Question thread, while gentle and following the board rules, may be preventing some posters who aren't used to discussion forums from feeling comfortable posting at all. 

The boards do have a search function. So if we are finding that people post the same 12 questions over and over, we can gently refer them to the search function and the previous posts on that topic. 

I want to be respectful of folks' opinions here, but also wanted to raise a different viewpoint. It is still early and we're still getting to know one another, but there is something truly special about getting to know a group of people who are going through the same pregnancy stuff, and then the same newborn-infant-baby stuff as you are. I mentioned before, but I still text some folks I met on my July 2017 board daily. They knew I was pregnant this time around before my parents. I think we can get there, but I think we need a little more freedom to discuss things without everything clogging one Question thread.

I welcome others' thoughts!

sejica

I'm actually ambivalent about one off posts, and think it's fine to refer them to either the GBQT, OR to a previous similar thread, OR to answer it in its own thread everytime. I only responded last night to spread the effort around, and because I was having serious insomnia. I agree that the topic of when to tell your boss/hr could merit its own thread, but i was just following previous answers, sorry if I misstepped, or jumped on too soon to redirect.

I do feel the multi-page GBQT can be intimidating and unwieldy, what about a weekly questions thread, especially as we move from the free for all weekly check-in to due week/ticker change check-ins? Maybe on Sundays, since the weekends don't have any dedicated threads (yet)?

However, a lot of the other one off threads are so similar, re:hcg number concerns. If they won't scroll down on the same page or search the board, why would they read or search any thread? Often these posters never return anyway, I'm not sure the response to them matters except in how we are choosing to build our community, and the message we are sending to each other, not op. We could choose as a community to ignore them, or to use it as an impromptu gif game check, or to answer each drive-by sincerely everytime.

P.S. For the love of life, if you're reading this and your username STILL starts with knottie, please. change. it. It is super challenging to tag you, I have to quote you to answer any question, and the bump has enough technical bugginess to drive me crazy already. If you need help, dm me. I assume every knottie is a drive-by who won't come back, and I'm not going to invest my time in building that relationship.

database6

I think the board organization is what killed these boards honestly, they used to be much busier. I don’t mind the one offs, or answering someone’s question that isn’t part of the “community”. If I can help or give a perspective I’m happy to. I think this is a UO with the regs. It can get crazy having a ton of one off threads, but that is part of the fun for me. 

fantasyflyte

I think the questions that could foster discussion, like the telling work one, work well as standalones. I do think having the catchall question thread be weekly would be better than just the behemoth one as is. Probably the same with the symptoms thread, honestly. Especially now that we're nearing the end of when people will be trickling in here, it's busier, and weekly stuff overall is easier than monthly.

The main thing I hope to avoid with oneoffs is drive-by "tell me what I want to hear" type things, but some of that may also be me having a quick trigger because of the kind of one-offs we'd get in TTGP.

PurplePumpernickel

Ok, so please know that this was not directed at any one person. The other week I was tempted to direct someone to Big Questions, but someone beat me to it

I do think we can deal if we have 57 threads about HGCs or car seats or what have you. I like the idea of a weekly questions thread, that's a little easier to navigate, or ignoring. I'd be down for a GIF takeover, but I know that not everyone is as snarky as I can be. I think things can be more dynamic to create a good community!

ponyoisfun

Thank you for bringing this up!
I am all for a weekly question thread. I guess I also don't appreciate the "drive-by" posters...I would just like people to have at least introduced themselves/done a weekly check-in before asking a question.  If they really don't want to invest in the community then they can post on another forum...

I do also want a dynamic community, but I think that it is easier if there is some structure.  

I also want to put out a general reminder to everyone that anyone can start and/or suggest other regular scheduled posts. 

chuckle_sandwich

Once a week question thread would be nice. I avoid the GBQT because there’s so much back and forth and trying to get back to someone who posted two pages before is annoying. 

Also, just my opinion, but one-offs aren’t a turn off to me. If a person doesn’t want to read or respond to one-offs then don’t, it’s that easy. Ultimately it’s up to whoever is the leader or admin to decide.

sunshine2417

I go back and forth on this. 

I’m usually very laid back and go with the flow, however I have also seen the boards get veeeery crazy and overloaded with too many one off threads. Once more people are out of the early MC window, a lot of people tend to join and it turns into there being like 20 threads on the same thing with 50 comments on each and people kinda lose touch with the group because it’s too overwhelming. I like keeping some structure in order to form community, have conversations, and ultimately have a solid core group for if/when we make the leap to other social media and have an idea of who regulars are. I think @ponyoisfun has had a very nice way of redirecting people in the group threads too. 

Honestly, if it’s a regular person posting new threads, I don’t mind because they know it’s something that has or hasn’t been talked about somewhere, but it’s all the AW fly-bys of “HI ANSWER THIS QUESTION NOW!” and then people invest time and energy for someone to flee that can be annoying. 

On the opposite side though, one of my bump groups did blow up at points of people moderating the boards waaaaayyy too much and that got overly crazy too. I guess, let’s all try to find good balance? Use good judgement?

Andbutalso, please change knottie names noooow kthanksbye!

ashnicell

I agree with the weekly question boards. They'd be easier to navigate than just the one giant thread. 

I don't mind some of the one-off posts involving questions that could promote discussion like the one about telling your employer. The ones that I could do without are the ones asking if numbers are normal, lack of symptoms or managing symptoms, etc. 

natasha212

I do agree that we need ‘structure’ but I believe one off threads and questions can lead to conversations and some form of bonding like the employment question seeing as though some of us are transitioning back to work life after the pandemic. There are over 130+ replies in the introduction thread so a lot of ladies have taken the time to introduce themselves and then proceeded to ask questions. We are all busy outside of this forum and the person could just want a one off answer because they are experiencing that at the moment and need support or answers. I think driving everyone to the ‘Great Big Question Thread’ can get daunting and seem very impersonal for some, if someone wants to answer the questions they should and if someone doesn’t know then leave well enough alone. 

There are two threads about GTKY that we did not need but as ladies we participated so I believe some grace should be given to others.

We can have weekly round up threads and once we get through the first trimester I think structure will automatically happen since right now everything is new and fresh as it is happening that’s why we’re having the one off questions.

looking forward to the continued growth and support of the community.

fantasyflyte

I feel like the opinions on the questions thing boils down to:

- poster-centric questions (is my symptom normal, is my hcg reasonable, etc.) should go in the (weekly?) Questions thread

- discussion-forming questions (when do you tell your employer, have you started shopping for maternity clothes, etc) work as standalones

Does that sound accurate/reasonable?

sunshine2417

@fantasyflyte that seems like a great middle ground! I like iiiitttt! 

sejica

natasha212 said:

There are two threads about GTKY that we did not need but as ladies we participated so I believe some grace should be given to others.

GTKY are part of the Tuesday schedule, so I'm not sure what you mean by this? Anyone is more than welcome to start any of the regular threads (uo Thursday, ffc Friday, GTKY Tues), especially if you would prefer them be more in the direction of what "we need", rather than the light hearted diversion from some of the anxiety that plagues early pregnancy. Its a struggle for me to craft fun GTKY that are inclusive, without triggering people, or asking them to share information that could be used to find them IRL, and add a cute gif on top of it. I do it though, because I want to get to know all of you, not just as incubators, but as a whole and complete persons.

natasha212

sejica said:

Its a struggle for me to craft fun GTKY that are inclusive, without triggering people, or asking them to share information that could be used to find them IRL, and add a cute gif on top of it. I do it though, because I want to get to know all of you, not just as incubators, but as a whole and complete persons.

I have noticed that it’s a solid 8-9 mommies who respond and engage in the GTKY thread including you and myself so it was in no way an offense to you and your dedication to crafting fun and laughable questions. I just felt that steering everyone to the great big question thread the information could be lost for someone else who comes in and has that same question. Take for instance the HCG question, I truly learnt from that thread when it was posted because I genuinely didn’t know. If a thread is started and is not active it automatically goes to the bottom and there is a filter also but not everyone who doesn’t play around and figure out the board will know. 

I participate in the threads because these ladies are the only ones who are feelings similar symptoms and it feels good to share and not be alone. 🙂

PurplePumpernickel

@fantasyflyte I really like that delineation. I also see no reason we can't remind a stranger to at least introduce themselves. It will be easier to make conversation and have more tailored responses to people if we know you a little bit. Like, if I'm allergic to peanuts and I mention that a few times, people may not recommend peanut butter if I'm asking about a protein-filled snack. We can only answer questions with the context given to us.

coldlife2

Keep in mind there are no mods here. There are the Bump people, but all they do is step in for bannings and such mostly only when people report things. No one has the authority to enforce the “rules” that the community makes. Be the change you want to see on the board. If you want to post on a thread and respond to a one off, go ahead and do it. No one’s stopping you. 

mali0902

If we're being honest here...I feel too much like trash to care one way or the other. I'm going Type B on this one. When I see a post pop up that looks interesting to me, I click it. If not, I move on. I hope no one takes any of that personally....I promise, it's not you, it's me. ✌🏼

Gingermom15

@mali0902 same here lol I try to keep up with the threads but along with feeling awful and tired, the app isn’t exactly the most user friendly. I’m happy with whatever organization is voted by the majority. I do think we could centralize FAQs, the further we go the more random new users like to post and ghost and clog the boards with the same questions.

ponyoisfun

@mali0902 I feel you!  I guess I just want to wrap up this conversation and move on to hanging out and chatting with each other/commiserating.

I am hearing the following proposals (thanks everyone!):

1. Poster-centric questions (is my symptom normal, is my hcg reasonable, etc.) should go in a weekly Questions thread or in a check- in thread etc.

2. Discussion-forming questions (when do you tell your employer, have you started shopping for maternity clothes, etc) work as standalones.  IMHO it would be cool if people ran these by each other in the board organization thread, but it is not required.

3. If someone wants to start a discussion it would be kind if they at least have introduced themselves in the introduction thread or the weekly check in. If they don't we can give them a gentle reminder to do so.

4. We (as a collective) will do our best to kindly remind others to make a unique username so that it is easier to remember who they are. 

- these are things that I have not heard discussed, but would like to remind everyone of-

Anyone can start a discussion that is regularly scheduled or agreed upon.  Just make sure to date it so people know it is already up. 

PGAL and the high risk check -ins are weekly - if anyone feels up for leading these please go ahead. 


Question:
Would ftm's like their own weekly check -in?  If  you would feel free to pick a day of the week and do it. 

What do you all think?  Let me know and I could move the agreements to our official "board organization thread."

fantasyflyte

I think this all looks good! The only thing I'd add is breaking down the weekly check ins to due date groupings now that most people due in Nov are here or will be soon.

ponyoisfun

@fantasyflyte Thank you for the reminder!  I will definitely include that.  I will leave a few days for people to review everything and if I don't hear anything else I will post it.  

PurplePumpernickel

I think this all makes sense!