Prenatal Depression?

knottieb8e59425e33bf73f

Anyone else here struggling with prenatal depression? I haven’t been myself since I got pregnant (I’m 9w5d today) and after opening up to my partner and mom about how I was feeling, they suggested I speak with my GP. During my appt, my GP said that I likely am dealing with some prenatal depression and that it’s more common then people think. I’ve been feeling very alone and down so far, and even more guilty about that as I’ve always wanted to be a mom but feel so disconnected from myself and my baby. I’m hoping that it’ll feel more real once I’m out of the first trimester…but right now I’m really struggling 😞

merostomata

I’m sorry you are going through this. You are definitely not alone and it’s a big step to admit it and seek out help! I have prenatal depression as well and it isn’t easy (also had it with my first). I found that my depression was the worst in the first trimester and eased up significantly as the second trimester began, along with a lot of other difficult symptoms. I hope the same is true for you and you get a little relief soon. 

There are many antidepressants that are regularly used during pregnancy, and hopefully your doctor talked to you about those too. If you’re struggling there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking these. Also, if you have prenatal depression you are more likely to have postpartum depression too. It’s tough but there are many people on your team and ways to help manage it. Hugs 💜

krthouse

I also think I'm dealing with this and am riding it out, but talking closely with my therapist about it. You're definitely not alone, mama 💕💕💕

hotmessexpress89

Hugs upon hugs mama! Also I am so proud of you for reaching out for help! Depression can be so isolating and the guilt it brings so awful! You did the right thing and you are so not alone! Honestly, this will be 4th child and I have never really felt connected to any pregnancy until I could feel baby move. First trimester is so rough on the body and takes a huge toll mentally and emotionally. Give yourself some grace and love right now.  Your feelings are not abnormal many women feel this way. Also it is okay to not be okay! This whole “pregnancy is a glorious beautiful experience” is a load of bull! Haha  it has good moments but can also be really really hard if not downright suck and it is absolutely okay to feel that way! You are going to be a great mom! Counseling is something I found to be so important to help with pre and postpartum depression.  Here for you mama! 

rin_dancing

Appreciate this thread sooooooo much. Thank you for being so honest and open and getting this conversation going. ♥️ I’ve been in therapy and on and off meds for a few years (they help me emotionally but tend to make me feel pretty disconnected from my body, which I really don’t like. So I use them when I need them and scale back or go off when I can). So definitely agree that pills are a great tool!! And I’m also coming to recognize I may not be one of those women who looooooves being pregnant. lol. So far it’s been pretty meh for me with periods of intense loneliness and tears. But I’ve loved about every child I’ve spent time with (8 years teaching pre school, 6 years teaching middle school) so I’m holding that close to my heart while I lumber through this first trimester. 😉 And I definitely plan to talk about all this during my obgyn appointment tomorrow so it’s on her radar. 

wileybliss

I'm so grateful for this thread, I almost posted something similar the other day but ended up deleting it and now I feel much less alone seeing all your responses and support. I was in therapy for about 6 months leading up to the pregnancy and then stopped because I was honestly feeling better... 10 weeks in and yeah.. it's been tough. Barely doing anything around the house, sleeping all day (not just due to the extra fatigue), and my work has suffered quite a bit. I've felt disconnected, apathetic, and depressed. Luckily, I was able to take action as soon as I realized what was going on. I'm scheduled with my therapist and setting really small goals for each day, trying not to think of the future. 
I told my husband that if I had prenatal depression I was more likely to get postnatal depression as well... He said if I dwelled on it it'd be a self-fulfulling prophecy. After the urge to punch him in the face went away 🤣  I realized he was just trying to help. I'm trying to lean on my support network right now and give myself plenty of grace. I certainly didn't expect depression to be a symptom of pregnancy but here we are.

EmilyE13

@wileybliss I just got contact info for a therapist from one of my friends who went to her a lot while dealing with PGAL and loss of her father. I am having a really hard time coping with day to day things this pregnancy and have spent most of the weekend crying. I know my OB was going to check in on mental health next week, so I will let her know I’m going to be seeing someone. 

rin_dancing

Just decided to get started with a personal trainer. It’s soooooo expensive but my partner and I are splitting it (it is his baby I gotta keep healthy after all) so that makes it more doable. I’ve realized that a lot of my low feelings and fears about getting attached to this pregnancy come from stress and shame about being older and overweight/out of shape. So I’m hoping moving my body consistently, feeling strong and getting strong will help with some of that. Here’s hoping anyway!

krthouse

Wanted to offer up an approach my therapist and I have come up with to try to help ease the dissociation. She suggested that starting to nest early, putting visual cues in my space about baby coming, choosing items for them etc might help me feel more attached and excited. This came from me mentioning how we're receiving a bassinet from my cousin soon and how I'm hoping that'll make it feel more real. Yesterday at an artisan show I picked out a handmade lovey for baby and it did feel like a little break from the weird apathetic thoughts.

sandy5693

@krthouse I love that idea!  I've actually been avoiding getting things for baby, but I think that could help! 

I saw my OB yesterday and she mentioned that this next month is often the hardest mentally as you won't necessarily look pregnant or feel the baby move.  It is also the longest I'll be going without a scan since becoming pregnant (I'm currently 12w and will go back to see her at 16w) and I'm already feeling nervous.  

I also go to weekly therapy and that really has been helpful.  My therapist's biggest advice is always to stay in the moment without looking too far ahead.  I'm a planner and that doesn't come naturally LOL but I must admit that it often helps.

Lastly, we did tell our family and friends this week.  New emotions of fear and anxiety came up when sharing the news, but also really comforting ones of excitement and joy.  It definitely made my connection to the pregnancy a bit more tangible as we spread the news.  

krysnicole1022

I've been dealing with a lot of perinatal depression and anxiety. I had it with my first but not my second or third. A little backstory: our beloved dog of 14 years woke up one day and literally couldn't walk. She had had some hip troubles for awhile but we had gotten therapies for her and she was doing great. Then one day she couldn't walk and the next day we had to say goodbye to our absolutely perfect pup. She was the world's greatest dog. She was the most well behaved dog I have ever been around. She actually maintained control of her bladder until the very end. That was an important thing for her. She never went in the house. No matter what. Even when we lived on the tenth floor and she had stomach issues. She was perfect. I was six weeks pregnant when I took her in. The vet was amazing. It was just a soul crushing experience. I haven't been able to move on since. I got to say goodbye and 14 really good years is a wonderful lifetime but it's not enough and I've just been floating through ever since. I know that seems a little dramatic because she was a dog but she was our baby. I've had a hard time moving on. It's been six weeks and I'm stuck in the pit of despair. My psychologist (who is actually my daughter's psychologist) moved and I haven't been able to find anyone that's good enough.  So that's where I am at.  I should also include that we have no family in the picture. Our pets and kids have made up our family. I plan on talking to the doctor at my next appointment because I literally can't muster the energy to do anything. I usually deal with sad situations with projects and I can't manage it. 

EmilyE13

@krysnicole1022 don’t ever feel like grief over a pet is “dramatic.” I still cry at times over pets I’ve lost years ago. They’re special, and they’re family. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. My 16 year old kitty suddenly and dramatically declined while I was pregnant with my 2nd in 2019, and losing her was heartbreaking. I barely made it a week before “impulse-adopting” another kitten. I partially blamed hormones, but he was a perfect addition to the family and I don’t regret it for a second. 

krysnicole1022

@EmilyE13 we lost our cat a year prior. He was my shadow and that was hard. We have one cat now. I think someday I'll get another cat. I told my husband I'll get a new cat every 3-5 years so I always have multiples. We ended up adopting a new cat six weeks after our first cat passed (this was 7 years ago) to rally our other cat out of his depression. It worked but this time I can't bring myself to do it. I know we won't ever plan on getting another dog. she's a bump cat.

pangolindrome

@krysnicole1022 I had eight months of teaching from home before our, at his end, 14.5 tear old GSD/malamute/wolf mix passed away. We made him as comfortable as he could be until he was ready, and a year and a half later (which I can’t believe it has been), it still hurts incredibly. I lived almost more as his caretaker for those eight months. Sometimes, our GSD/husky girl looks at me from an angle where she looks so much like him that my heart swells with love and at the same time, I break all over again.
What you are going through is grief over a family member. Hard stop. Anyone who thinks that grief over non-human family is any different can, pardon my language (or don’t), unceremoniously fuck right off. I’ve lost both humans and non-humans and it all hurts differently because of who they were, not what they were.
That being said, absolutely talk about your grief with your doctor. If you can handle it financially, maybe talk to a grief therapist?

krysnicole1022

@pangolindrome I've considered it. I'm waiting for our new insurance cards/numbers so I can figure out what's covered and what's not. It's so hard, isn't it? I talked about her with my husband the other night. He's had to hold it together while I fall apart. He's struggling as well. I just always expect to see her. 

pangolindrome

@krysnicole1022 We basically took turns falling apart. It just worked out that way. I don’t know if it helps - it didn’t really for me - but know that you are not alone. I’m glad you have your husband, and there are those of us out here who understand.