Doula's

rinehenry

First time mom here. Nervous for the experience, as to be expected. BUT I was wondering if anyone else has used a Doula, good or bad stories? Or are you contemplating using one? What are your thoughts?

krthouse

I used a doula with my first! Due to covid lockdowns she wasn't able to come for the actual birth, but she was incredibly helpful for labour in the lead up as well as for equipping us with tools my husband could use. She helped me a ton via text as well when I was experiencing a long prodromal labour and to reassure me with things that weren't serious enough to page the midwife about, but that made me anxious. She's also a birth and newborn photographer so she got some amazing labour and family shots for us. We're debating if we'll use a doula again this time, but I'm leaning yes. The most helpful part for me was that I really struggle with trust and relinquishing control. Knowing I had a professionally-trained and experienced birth partner supporting me helped me relax more.

merostomata

I used a doula! She was so amazing, and actually did not charge us anything because she was still in training and needed to attend more births. We still ended up paying her about $200 because we felt guilty, although she was worth much more. DONA is the main organization to find doulas in your area, if you don’t already know someone you’re interested in. I knew this woman already though.

She met with us several times through the third trimester and told us tons about what to expect during birth, showed us pain coping strategies and gave us ideas of things to do to relieve pressure or connect. Doulas are amazing helpers and teachers and they are taught to not get in the way of this special time for you and your partner. She taught my husband several pressure relieving moves he could do to help me, too.

At the birth, she was there for the whole slog and slept on a chair. She gave me massages, suggested when to eat, set candles and music we discussed, talked with my husband and helped him, helped ask questions of the nurses and midwives. She was just amazing and I feel like she was essential.

I’ll probably get an epidural this time around, but for a first time mom or anyone considering an unmediated birth they are a game changer and can totally change your birth experience and memories of that day.

fichey

For those of you who've used a doula before, when did you reach out/start the process of finding one? Our hospital offers their own doula service, but I wanted to explore other options too. Just not sure when is too early to start looking!

merostomata

@fichey I don't think it's ever too early! I can't remember exactly when I reached out, but I think it was maybe early second trimester? They'll probably just make plans to meet with you at a later date but it's nice to have someone lined up.

krthouse

@fichey Agree that early second trimester is a great time to start looking. I think mine said she typically signs clients on around 20 weeks onward.

fichey

Thanks @merostomata and @krthouse! I don't know why, but I thought the first trimester would be too far out. Definitely going to reach out to some of the doulas on my list and start seeing who I feel most comfortable with.