Pregnancy after loss

triciamuell

Just got a positive yesterday (3 weeks 1 day, insanely early?) Suffered a twin miscarriage August 2021. Dealing with a slew of emotions. Please share your rainbow baby story! 

livvyluv

I’m so sorry for your loss last year. I had a MMC in November ‘21 at 8 weeks. The sadness we felt was awful but it solidified that we really want to start a family.  We started trying again after my first cycle post MC. I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant due 11/2!  Early hCG and progesterone levels have been good and an early US at 5w5d showed a gestational sac, yolk sac, and we could see a tiny fluttering heartbeat. Next US is 3/17 🍀 Hoping for the best! 🤞🏼 Wishing you much luck ✨

laurhun08

So sorry for your loss! I too had a miscarriage end of December 2021 at 10 weeks. It was devastating. I just found out today I am pregnant and very excited but nervous now that it will happen again. Have to keep positive thoughts. I am due in Nov.

triciamuell

I was expecting to feel excitement, joy and hope, but instead feeling a lot of fear. I know I'm not alone, just never realized pregnancy after loss would feel so terrifying. 

akpearl

I had lost my first pregnancy in October at 9 weeks and did IVF afterwards, found out I was pregnant last week and due Nov 3rd. This time around I am so worried and stressed it will happen again. I didn’t realize how stressful this would be and am having a hard time not being nervous.

chelsea5787

I had a miscarriage at around 9 weeks in January and we were very surprised we got pregnant again so quickly. I’m trying to be positive and hopeful but I’m so scared. I get so paranoid every time I’m not feeling a symptom, even though it’s still super early. 

mflowers929

Both my kiddos are rainbow babies. My son was born 4 years after we lost our first two pregnancies and decided to stop trying for a while. I got pregnant with another baby when he was 14 months old, and lost that baby at 8 and a half weeks. 2 months later we got pregnant with our daughter.
It's totally normal to feel fear after a loss, and to question every little twinge. I didn't even really acknowledge my pregnancies until I was past 20 weeks because I didn't want that feeling again. The best thing to do is just to remind yourself that today you're still pregnant, and today your baby is still with you

knottie0941dd14d8946eba

Had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in November 2021. Now I am 4 weeks 5 days. I am so scared it might happen again. Can’t think of anything else really. I somehow wait for it to happen again. I hate that. It’s very hard to think positive. Does anyone have any tips on a positive mindset? 

sunshine2417

I’ve had 4 miscarriages. My son is a rainbow baby and daughter is a triple rainbow baby. Some of the best things that have helped me are that every day saying a positive affirmation, like, “Today, I am pregnant.” Or “right now, I am pregnant”. 

The other advice that I try to remember is that having anxiety about loss does not help. As long as you’re not actively doing anything wrong, the main part that you have control in for the process of becoming a parent is complete. Worrying about it raining on Saturday will neither cause or prevent it from raining. Same goes for miscarriage. (SOOOO much easier said than done! I’m not always good at following this advice but… I try 🤣)

sunshine2417

My HCG betas were 21 on Friday and 44 today, a little less than 48 hours later. That’s good, and doing what it’s supposed to, but I also have cramping and spotting this morning which I’m trying to believe is just implantation bleeding. PGAL is such a mindf*ck

knottiefba3cafe6aca05e2

I had a miscarriage in December of 2021 and just got a positive test yesterday for a November 24th due date. My doctor (not who I had the miscarriage with) still only wants to see me at 8 weeks. Is it typical to be seen sooner after a miscarriage? Waiting another month is going to kill me. 

fionazzz

My second son was stillborn at 35 weeks in October so I’m probably going to be feeling anxious for the duration of this pregnancy and even more so in the later weeks. And on top of that it’s stressful to know that stress is a risk factor for stillbirth (as well as having had one before) so I’m trying to focus on just managing my mental state but then I feel like “checking in” on myself can even be stress-inducing. Has anyone else experienced a later pregnancy loss?

mflowers929

@knottiefba3cafe6aca05e2 I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. Unfortunately I know that for most doctors a single previous early miscarriage is not reason for extra monitoring since the chances of a repeat MC are quite low. Just try to hang in there

mflowers929

Had my first ultrasound this morning and they put the fetus at about 5w6d, which is earlier than my expected 6w4d. I know it's not a huge difference but it still makes me a bit anxious. The good news is that they saw a little heartbeat already so that definitely took a little bit of worry off. I have another ultrasound in about 2 weeks since my missed miscarriages were at 7.5 and 8.5 weeks

sunshine2417

My HCG levels doubled again

1st: 21
2nd: 44
3rd: 104

I’m still having some brown spotting, but since the numbers are doubling I’m taking it as implantation bleeding and a good sign. Next week I’ll do one more HCG test and if it still looks good, I’ll stop.

@knottiefba3cafe6aca05e2 unfortunately I really, really have to advocate for myself to OBs—mine wouldn’t have done HCG tests or seem me this early unless I initiated (aka demanded…) it. I’ve had 4 miscarriages but unfortunately the main thing they care about is AMA, which means being over 35, which I am not. If you want HCG draws, ask for it. If you want a virtual appt, ask for it. Unfortunately they can’t really “do” anything until 6-8 weeks when they could do a dating ultrasound. HUGS

lotrgrl1216

Right there with you, we lost our first at 24 weeks last December after trying for 5 years to get pregnant. We're so excited for this new little one but are still grieving for our first. Its such a mixed bag or emotions. For now I think the plan is to keep this one a secret for as long as possible. I'm just scared of anything happening to this little one as well.

lotrgrl1216

 

fionazzz

Same - we are not in a hurry to tell anyone this time around! I feel like I’m not letting my hopes get up to protect myself so while it’s exciting to be pregnant again it’s dampened with a “we’ll see how this goes” kind of mentality.

sunshine2417

My unsolicited advice to anyone in the PGAL realm is to do what feels right and necessary FOR YOU—I have a SIL who would announce her pregnancy the moment she peed on a stick, which also lead to a lot of public grieving when she had 3 different losses. For her, it was so needed, beautiful, and authentic and she felt so supported having people know what she was going through.

For me, I honestly told maybe 1 or 2 people, at absolute most, when I was going through 3 of my 4 miscarriages. I didn’t feel like anyone could fully understand the pain I was going through. It’s made it very hard when my parents/friends/family unknowingly ask “when’s the next one? Are you pregnant?” Etc. During times of loss and infertility, and sometimes I wish I had been transparent, especially to help other women feel comfortable talking about theirs. To this day, my parents still don’t know about my MCs, but many friends do as I’ve felt more comfortable talking about it with people who have gone through similar situations and done my own healing. No way is right or wrong, just know you have to grieve in a way that is authentic to you, and we’re all always here to listen and support ❤️ honestly, some of my greatest life supports have been from my BMB communities and I wouldn’t trade those women for anything! 

mflowers929

Man, even as a multiple time mom and loss mom both, this anxiety is just killer. I had a bit of pink spotting when I went to the bathroom earlier and even though I know logically that it's probably just fine of course my mind jumped right to loss. It does seem to have settled down so was probably just some cervix irritation or baby snuggling in more, but man it's hard to get out of your own head sometimes.

sunshine2417

@mflowers929 it’s SOOOO hard to remove that anxiety! I had implantation bleeding for nearly a full week this time around and every day it was so stressful. Your cervix may be fully closing now, irritated, or if you did the deed, that could cause it too! There are many reasons and sadly so few reassurances to cling to this early in the pregnancy. Big hugs!

hopefulisa

Thank you all for being so strong and sharing your stories. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Wishing you all smooth pregnancies.

I am really struggling with anxiety as well. This is my second pregnancy after losing my first pregnancy at week 7 (right where I am with this pregnancy now). There are few concerning things I am experiencing but they are a bit gray if they are true red flags depending on where I read 

- I had a 6 week 2 day ultra sound and everything measured in line with that but the heart rate was 80bpm which was a bit low - going back for another ultrasound in a few days
- I have had a small amount brown discharge when wiping. Once yesterday and once today. 

This is truly torture and feels very helpless and out of my control. If anyone has any positive words or tips that would be very appreciated.

fionazzz

I’ve found this miscarriage probability calculator to be somewhat reassuring https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart