Hubby doesn’t want to take paternity leave

turtletaylor0522

Hi.

My DH has decided he may not want to take a paternity leave and will instead WFH for a while after the birth of our son. I am wondering what y’all are doing with your spouses and their paternity/maternity leave. How did you come to your decision? What do you expect this to look like? This is our first so we are still navigating everything. 

Thanks!

meggyme

taylorharris0522 said:

Hi.

My DH has decided he may not want to take a paternity leave and will instead WFH for a while after the birth of our son. I am wondering what y’all are doing with your spouses and their paternity/maternity leave. How did you come to your decision? What do you expect this to look like? This is our first so we are still navigating everything. 

Thanks!

It probably depends on what other support you would have. And how available he would actually be while working from home. Some families decide to take turns with parental leave and the father will take leave when the mother starts back at work. It depends on what works for you. I’d say if you have the support from elsewhere for the first couple weeks then it would be fine. Just plan for the worst case scenario and he can always change it later.

dobiemom11

DH saved up enough time off to take two weeks off right after birth.  He was also given a month off for paternity leave, but it had to be taken in two week chunks within the first year.  He took a two week chunk after birth and another at 9 months.  So in total he was off for a month right after the birth and then another break later on.  

We had grandparents available to help for three weeks after birth, but almost no additional help after that point (due to Covid concerns and no local family).  Adjusting to and figuring out how to care for a newborn can be pretty overwhelming/exhausting, so I was thankful for both our family support and his ability to take that time off.  He did continue working from home for the first year due to Covid, but was less available due to meetings and work deadlines. 

As PP mentioned, see what other resources you have and also how available the WFH setup is.  Can he save a few days for after the birth and then see if taking paternity leave would be helpful/feasible?

Congrats and good luck!   

b_1029

MH doesn’t have any sort of parental leave so I was alone from the start. He was able to go into the office a bit later than normal but that was about it. I’d also say it depends on how available he’d be and what his work expectations are. 

knottie7293062eee43af44

Does him wfh allow him to be able to attend to the baby’s needs? And your needs? My husband works from home now and I am 30 weeks pregnant. I notice he is even more busier and taking on more meetings via zoom since he started working from home. My husband is taking 3 months off right when we have the baby and then another 3 months down the road. Fortunately his job gives him 6 months paternity leave. Also what is your job offering, do you get a good amount of time off? Maybe he can take the first month off and you the next? 

itsabocababy

First time parents here too, but we both work from home now and have been doing that for the past 5-6 years. My husband doesn’t get paternity leave, but he plans to take a few days or a week off once the baby is here, and he doesn’t have a schedule to stick to so he can work when he chooses. I think it really depends on how your partner’s work from home time is managed and what is expected from him from his employer. I know it’s easy to work longer hours when you work from home, but also easier to take random breaks and be available to step in and help when necessary! 

knottie45fd2c5ed8279191

My husband is taking two weeks paid, which is what his company provides. We live in MA where 5 weeks maternity and paternity leave is protected by law, but the state pays you by income level and the way it works out my husband is in a high income bracket and would be taking a 60% paycut in order to participate in this (albeit great) leave policy. We've decided for that reason that he won't take any extended leave...I feel a little conflicted about it because I want our childcare and careers to be balanced despite me being the female, but logically I know that this decision is what makes the most sense for our family so it is what it is.