PGAL Check-in 2/17 — The Bump
September 2022 Moms

PGAL Check-in 2/17

Weeks/Due Date:

How are you feeling?

Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about?

How are you managing your stress?
Current pregnancy -
First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


Re: PGAL Check-in 2/17

  • Weeks/Due Date: 10+1, 9/14

    How are you feeling?  Pretty good.  Had my monthly massage yesterday and my therapist is so supportive.  Having a good ultrasound this week helped a lot, as did coming up with a game plan with my OB for both the UTI issue as well as monitoring my cervix.

    Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about?  I will be having ultrasounds every 2 weeks to monitor my cervix, so I'll probably worry before every single one of them.  It's not a procedure, but I also worry that my boss may start giving me shit about all these appointments...

    How are you managing your stress?  Watching the "risk of miscarriage" percentage get lower and lower each day - checking the site is part of my daily routine.  Also the "fruit"/fun fact of the day from the bump app.  Trying to eat healthily, take all my vitamins, pet my bump....
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.

  • Weeks/Due Date: 11+1, Sept. 7

    How are you feeling? Feeling good, physically. Don't really have any symptoms. Just have trouble sleeping, mainly because my nose is so stuffy every single night when I lay down.

    Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about? Had my NIPT blood draw done today, so I should have those results around next Wednesday. My 12-week appt is next Wednesday morning. I'm a little worried just because I don't have any symptoms, so I'm scared that they aren't gonna be able to find the heartbeat with the doppler. 

    How are you managing your stress? Just affirmations I guess....telling myself that I'm pregnant right this minute and embracing it. Also just reminding myself that if it's the right time, everything will work out.
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  • Weeks/Due Date: 9w6d, 9/16

    How are you feeling? Just tired. I kind of wish I had more symptoms. 

    Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about? Had my first appt last Thursday and saw the hb. Next appointment is next Thursday and I just got my MFM referral for March 10th. 

    How are you managing your stress? Honestly, I'm not. I feel like I frequently go into tail spins. Feel "off"...tail spin. Worried about progesterone labs... tail spin. I don't think I was fully prepared for what a mind**** PGAL was. I feel like my anxiety and disconnect is increasing as I reach the point at which I miscarried last time. I'm just hoping for things to go to a more normal state once I surpass where I was last time. I also still haven't seemed to learn that Google is not my friend. 
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  • @ashley35209
    I totally hear you on the significant daughter was born at 22w3d and I'll probably be a hot mess until at least 24 weeks as a result.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.

  • Weeks/Due Date:10+6 / 9/9

    How are you feeling? So nervous like I feel like I'm preparing for this to be over because since getting the stomach bug I haven't felt pregnant and I'm a nervous wreck. I just saw my doppler got delivered and I'm freaking out now thinking I'll try to find the hb telling myself it could be too early and not hear it and try to reassure myself, but really there won't be a hb. Trying to plan what I will do not if but *when* I don't hear the hb,because my mindset is not good. Having to take time and explain to my mw that I think it's over and then check and confirm that. I'm just going down hard right now. On top of everything I also got a cold, tested negative, but a girl that was in the nurse's office testing on Tuesday and tested negative with me, tested positive this morning, so now I've got that worry going on too and how will we manage sick time when my kids will get it.

    Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about? The fact that my next appointment isn't until after we're supposed to tell MIL and bil about the pregnancy. And what if I come back alone for it and find out that news and we have to take it back and then I'll never hear the end of how "depressed" MIL is. She's never sad, she's always "depressed" and I can't stand it. I hate when she makes other people's sadness about her. 

    How are you managing your stress? I'm not. Denial works occasionally. Being at work when I can't think about it, helps too. 
  • ashley35209ashley35209 member
    edited February 2022
    Update if you try your doppler. I have one from my last pregnancy but I'm so scared to try it. I started trying last time around 12 weeks and could never find the heartbeat but it turns out that they believe he passed sometime around then. I'm just scared I'm going to be convinced that I miscarried again if I can't find the hb....

    Also my MIL is exactly the same. She will use my situation to get sympathy for herself. That's why I don't intend on telling her for a long time. We didn't tell her about the last one and when I miscarried I was so thankful we didn't tell her. I told my husband I would prefer to not tell her until we reach viability. That's probably what we will do. 
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  • @ashley35209 I was able to use mine with both of my daughters (my first pregnancy was a mmc for blighted ovum) I was really good at using it but waited until after I heard the mw find it using their doppler because I was afraid it would cause me to worry more. With both of my daughters I had multiple USs by 12 weeks. With my first I think I had 4 and with my second I had 4 or 5. The idea that I'm not going to have another one this time until 20 weeks (because my dating US looked fine) it's really triggering me.

    We were going to tell my mil about my first pregnancy 3 days after I found out I was going to miscarry. Like went out and bought things to surprise her and found out the next day it wasn't viable, so I think that is also causing some unneeded worry. 

    A nice mil story of her making things about her, her best friend from high school (maid of honor in her wedding) husband had a massive heart attack and died. Her best friend posted about it on Facebook a day or two after it happened.... MIL sent a message to her friend saying she was hurt that she wasn't told personally about his passing and had to find out about it on Facebook. She then tried getting sympathy about it from mh and bil and they were both like umm no you're in the wrong here thankfully. 

    Also at the baby shower for my first, she organized it for my husband's side, and everything was going great everyone was having a good time. Near the end we're looking around for her and she's no where to be found. MH calls her and she's crying in the phone saying she's just so depressed she couldn't be there anymore because they're should be other people celebrating that aren't there (FIL, and both of my husband's grandmother's passed 3 years prior, his grandmother's were in their 90s). 
  • @jhysmath *hugs*  I thought about getting a doppler but currently have decided not because I think it would just cause me more stress.  And now that I'm going to have ultrasounds every 2 weeks that will either be reassuring or not.  I don't have any great advice, but I'm here with you.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.

  • @jhysmath & @ashley35209 Yeah, I stupidly tried my doppler last night and of course couldn't find the heartbeat, so while DH and I agreed it was probably just too early (I'm 11+1), I'm secretly scared to death. I can't remember when I started being able to find it with my last pregnancy. DH says we couldn't find it this early last time either, but I can't remember.
  • @whitta1015 now I'm scared to try even more so. Maybe I'll just ask my mw if I can come in and have them check it out. I don't think I've ever tried before 13 weeks. 
  • @jhysmath do we have the same MIL? My SIL apparently had a hard time conceiving and had a couple of miscarriages before they had their daughter. She didn't want anyone to know. MIL went around telling everyone about it and how hard it was for her. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to behave that way. 
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  • @jhysmath I go next Wednesday for my 12-week appt, so I'm gonna be holding my breath while they try to find the hb. But I'll probably try on my own 100 more times between now and then.
  • @whitta1015 I admire that level of masochism lol
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.

  • Weeks/Due Date: 9+5 / September 17

    How are you feeling? Just okay. I'm very worried something will be wrong at the next appointment and they won't be able to find the heartbeat. I'm trying to stay positive with some of my symptoms continuing. Now my boobs are sore in a different way and my belly is definitely getting bigger.

    Any upcoming procedures/appointments you're worried about? Next appointment 2/28. Super worried.

    How are you managing your stress? Trying to stay distracted as much as I can. Reading the affirmations others have posted. Continuing therapy.
  • @ashley352019 my MIL was the same. Kept asking us when she could post of fb when we told her we wanted to share first and we weren't ready for that. My MIL is the biggest gossip and I just can't stand it. Like no one cares lady don't tell us, we don't even know them, or need to know that.... We did a "zoom" Christmas thing in 2020 and all of her family showed up and they were taking. When we hung up she turned to us and said I can't believe (this cousin) didn't tell everyone her son is going in for surgery on two days... You know (17 year old kid) was having a lot of blood coming out of his anus and he needs some fissures repaired, why didn't she tell us about it, when she told (aunt that's a nurse a few days ago).....

    Ummm maybe because a teenage boy doesn't want you talking about his ass hole with the family? That's a private thing? 
  • @jhysmath yep. We have the same MIL. We get calls and texts all the time about the latest family gossip. All she has done is teach us not to tell her anything. When my husband started his sleeve tattoo, she texted everyone the second she left our house complaining about it. I just can't with her. I avoid her whenever possible. 
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  • @ashley352019 I try to do the same. Thankful so far we've lived 12 hours away for the last 15ish years of being with mh. My BIL always excuses anything she does with, but she changed our poopy diapers so we need to get over it. I'm sorry, changing diapers is what she chose to do because she chose to have children. It shouldn't excuse the fact she does something we don't like at 70 years old. 
  • @whitta1015 & @jhysmath if it makes you feel better, at my 10 week appointment (I was 10+5) my midwife had a really hard time finding the heart beat. I had an ultrasound before and babe was wiggling around with a heart beat of 170 bpm, but they'd find it with the doppler for like 1 second and then it would go away. So it could definitely just be hard to find right now!
  • @lalarose22 that does make me feel better thank you. 
  • @whitta1015 so I just tried for about 5 minutes, and I couldn't find the hb in 10+6 I easily found the placenta so I feel a bit better. I dove into Dr Google and found most things saying if you found  placenta most likely everything was OK and likely this early placenta was in front of baby. The placental hb was clicking between 120-130 while my hb was around 80 so I think that's a good sign. I'll try again later if I have a moment without kids climbing on me. 
  • @jhysmath That makes me feel better too! I just got a doppler this week and have only tried twice, but each time I found the placenta and my own heart rate. I feel like if I were to push hard I'd find it, but who wants to do that? Not me.
    DD 10/2019
  • @trapperkeeper87 I pushed hard and held it up to my ear, I *think* I got a glimpse of it behind the sound of the placenta. When I pulled the speaker away from my ear I lost it so I couldn't check to see if it registered higher unfortunately. 
  • @jhysmath I did the exact same thing, but only for a few seconds because I immediately freaked out that I would hurt the baby. I think I heard something, but I think I'm going to stop trying until my appointment on Wednesday.
    DD 10/2019
  • @jhysmath Thank you! Yeah I tried again last night and I think I'm just finding the placenta. I remember at about 10/11 weeks with my last baby they couldn't find it at my doctor's appt and just ordered an ultrasound and everything was fine!
  • FWIW, I just went to the OB at 10+1, they tried on the Doppler but couldn’t find the heartbeat. She finally pulled out a handheld ultrasound to check on things and the baby was absolutely fine. I agree with what others said, really think 10/11 weeks is early to reliably find the heartbeat on Doppler, even as a professional! 

    Side note: WHY do they do this to us at early visits? Those 5 min between not hearing anything on the Doppler and her finding the ultrasound want were torture. At least have it at the ready if you’re going to use Doppler that early! 
  • Just decided to try my doppler. I actually found the heartbeat for half a second. Immediately started crying like a baby. I know it doesn't mean a whole lot but I could never find the heartbeat last time so it's a tiny bit of comfort on this journey. 
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  • Hey, I haven’t posted here yet but follow. 
    I had a MMC at 10 weeks with my very 1st pregnancy in 2017 and it affected me for a really long time. I was a nervous wreck my entire pregnancy with my son and I’m really trying to not fall down that path again. 
    I’m 12 weeks now and I tried the Doppler and it worked. Wow. What a godsend eBay is for making these devices available. 
    Last time I wish I’d deleted google from my phone!! My BNB was a lifesaver. 
  • I sent a message to my provider asking if I could come in for a hb check tomorrow as I still haven't found anything aside from the placenta. They said I can call and make that appointment now I'm freaking out because I'm so afraid of the outcome. I hate the first trimester. 
  • @jhysmath I still haven't found anything other than the placenta either. I have my appointment tomorrow morning at 8am (EST) and I am so nervous. 
  • @whitta1015 I just got an appointment for 3:20 tomorrow. They said they could see me this afternoon, but I teach a night class and can't come in this afternoon. The ability to get an appointment without much notice so easily readily worries me too. If course I started reading an article on the bump about miscarriage and one of their signs of miscarriage is there's a connection between mother and fetus and sometimes they just "know" that has me freaked out even more. In the same article it said after seeing the hb at 8 weeks the likelihood of Mc is 1.3% and The miscarriage calculator says there's only a 2.1% chance of miscarriage regardless at this point. So the numbers are in my favor, but I'm freaking out. I wish I didn't have a class to teach tonight. 
  • @jhysmath I completely understand! Please update us after your appointment!
  • @whitta1015 I will, and please update too so I can live through hopefulness of your positive outcome for at least the work day. 
  • @whitta1015 this just popped up on ig for me, and makes me feel better about them getting me in for my worries so quickly. They're just being good providers. 

  • @whitta1015 @jhysmath Thinking about guys and your worries because it’s literally the worst feeling ever, 98% chance those babies are working on growing!! Sending you every positive vibe I can muster and look forward to your good updates!!! 
  • @jhysmath They found baby's heartbeat immediately! It was beating strong at 170!

    @foreveronyourside So sweet of you! Thank you!
  • @whitta1015, just logged in to be able to see this ❤️ in hoping for the same good news. 
  • @jhysmath I'm sure their dopplers are just way stronger than ours. Prayers for you today! :heart:
  • It took her a bit to find the hb but she got one of 168 so looking good. She told me that there are only 2 hbs so if I get something from the 120-130 range that I thought was placenta that it's actually baby... Which goes against everything I've read and watched.

    She also informed me that I was brought up recently at their providers meeting and the head OB had a firm no on allowing me to try for a vba2c. So I guess now I need to eventually transfer to the large hospital I hated having my second at. 
  • @jhysmath Yay! So relieved! 
  • I love this concept of "allow" - what are the going to do, hold you down and cut you open?
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.

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