TTCAL w/o 2/7

abjm0325

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status: 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions? 

GTKY: You could step into any book or movie as a character for one afternoon. What would you choose?

bearmomma1

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Hi I’m new here This question always gets me in how to describe my loss. Pregnancy loss/Preterm labor at 30 weeks Sept 20, infant loss Nov 20. Mc Jan 22. 

Status: waiting for Hcg to leave my system, then WTO.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are going ok. My Hcg test today is SUPER light, so I’m sure in another few days it’ll be gone completely. Then I guess I start OPK’s soon to catch my next O. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Getting lab work done tomorrow for my recent MC. They’re going to see if they can find any commonalities with my late term pregnancy loss. 

Questions? Is it ok to check into more than one board here? I’m also TFAS and will be WTO soon. 

GTKY: You could step into any book or movie as a character for one afternoon. What would you choose? Ooo great question. Harry Potter so I could learn some magic and fly on a broomstick 

abjm0325

@bearmomma1 Hi! I'm sorry to have to welcome you here, but I hope you find comfort in our community. I hope your lab work is able to provide you with some answers and a direction moving forward.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC @ 8 weeks in Aug. 2021, CP in Dec. 2021

Status: WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? BFN this morning, so that's always a little hard. Trying to stay positive and be proactive for this next cycle, controlling what I can and working to improve what I can. Called my midwife to schedule an appointment to follow up on thyroid results and next steps, so that was a big step for me out of my denial. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? BFN this morning

Questions? Any thoughts on specific testing or questions I should have for my midwife? I'm not sure if moving to an RE is an option at this point, so I'm unsure what I can/should even be working toward at this point other than clarifying previous testing.

GTKY: You could step into any book or movie as a character for one afternoon. What would you choose? @bearmomma1 Ooh, Harry Potter is a good choice! I would also love to check out Hell's Library which has been a more recent favorite trilogy of mine.

anniemarie887

@bearmomma1 you can def participate where you feel comfortable. i've been known to post in both, honestly kind of depending on where others are posting too. at some point i'll get back to dailies, i just don't have much to say with being benched. 
@abjm0325 glad you called your midwife, i would make sure they are testing more than just your TSH, i have benign thyroid nodules that i was dx with back in 2016 and thankfully my thyroid function has never been affected - but my endo still checks my TSH, T3 and T4 and recommended checking that when i was pregnant in 2019. i'm actually set to see him next month and want labs done to make sure that isn't playing a part in my 2 losses in the last 5 mos. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP @ 5w Sept 21, and MMC @ 9w Jan 22

Status: benched until OB f/u 2/16

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? they are going, right now i'm feeling antsy to be in limbo. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? just waiting on the chromosomal testing results

Questions? kind of rhetorical, bc i don't expect anyone to know this - but i went back and looked... my CP cycle was 25 days until the next one started, so a little shorter than usual, i'm curious what this will look like with getting the d&c and if it will be "normal" length. 

GTKY: You could step into any book or movie as a character for one afternoon. What would you choose? like the good "elder" millennial that i am, def Harry Potter. 

abjm0325

@bearmomma1 Sorry I missed your question the first time, but you can definitely post anywhere you qualify! 

@anniemarie887 I hope you get the all clear on 2/16. I wish I would have had my loss chromosonally tested but with it being my first loss they of course chalked it up to bad luck. I hope your results are helpful moving forward. 

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 I hope you get the all clear as well! I think our paths were almost the same, If my first d&c was actually completed. I’m definitely rooting for you and hope we get to be in another BMB together again 

anniemarie887

@abjm0325 i am really fortunate to have an OB willing to break the "rules" as my CP doesn't count the same as this miscarriage - we've also been at this for over a year now, and i'm pushing 35, so i think she is respectful of me being concerned about multiple things stacking up potentially against us. that being said... the $1800 bill for the testing was a rude awakening. 
@bearmomma1 yea, sadly i think they were. and truly i hope we both get out of here asap! 

anniemarie887

emotional vomit brain dump coming... i will TW/spoiler for chromosomal results from MC/mention of LC

so tuesday late morning i get a notice there are new lab results in my portal.  i go open them up and it's the chromosomal results. not sure why i didn't think it would have the sex, but it did. which was kind of a blow. we were team green with our daughter and had planned on being that this time, we also know we only want one more baby, and we have always said we'd be happy with either sex. with that being said seeing male was hard, knowing that we can't control the future or what it holds, wondering if eventually when we do have a baby will we then be sad which is a cruel trick your brain plays. the reality is that we will obviously be happy no matter what. MH and i look it over and believe we understand it to say that everything was normal. which also, was hard. i wanted there to be a clear reason why the mc happened. and my rational brain knows so many times there isn't one, but it was still hard. so then i wait for my ob to call. she reaches out weds morning saying everything was chromosomally normal and would i like to know the gender, if so she'll release the report. and i'm like yea so it hit the system yesterday. she goes "stupid computers!!!" which did make me laugh. and i needed that. she put in labs to get the ball rolling to look at me, so i went this morning and did 6 vials of blood for A1C, thryoid, lupus, and igg/igm for two different clotting things (beta 2 glycoprotein and cardiolipin antibody). so we should have that for my follow up with her on 2/16. and now we wait. 

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 I’m so sorry for all this. I totally understand the heartache of knowing you were supposed to have a boy after having your DD. Sometimes there just is no reason for why what happened happened. Im still trying to really accept that as the truth. I did not know they would know the gender with chromosomal testing. Maybe part of me is happy now we didn’t get to complete the D&C so I’ll never know if I lost another boy. 

TW:
We never got an answer for why I went into premature labor at 30 weeks. All our labs came back good, for myself, our son and the placenta. No one knows why his heart stopped beating upon delivery. We’ll never know the answers and that is just so scary for any future pregnancy to not know what to look out for. I understand you wishing there was some type of answer. It all just sucks. 

abjm0325

@anniemarie887 I'm so sorry for that emotional roller coaster, especially the unexpected sharing of the results. I like the accessibility of patient portals, but I do think some results shouldn't be posted until a doctor calls or speaks to you and the portals make it easy for accidents like this to happen. I completely get the wishing something could be identified as "the problem" to explain why, but hopefully the lack of a problem means there isn't anything to overcome to get the next baby into your arms. 

anniemarie887

@bearmomma1 big hug to you. the lack of reasoning is really hard for me, and something i'll certainly be working through in therapy. i like to put things in a nice, neat, box. which life isn't conducive to that. i'm so sorry that you also didn't get any answers with your son. the universe can feel really cruel.
@abjm0325 thank you, and yea, it was interesting that my dr was under the impression she had to release them. somebody in the IT dept needs to get on that.