February Mental Health check-in

merostomata

Hi everyone! Hope you are hanging in there...the first trimester is so rough. Feel free to talk about anything on your mind, but here are a few prompts if you wish:

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?
2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?
3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?
4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?

merostomata

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?
    I'm pretty anxious and just waiting to get to the first scan. I'm also just kinda down, not sleeping well, and my energy is super low. I know this is how it is for me during the first trimester though so I'm just riding it out. I wish I could hibernate for the next 6 weeks!

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?
    Loss, definitely. I think about it a lot. I also am super bloated and seem to be gaining weight already, despite not changing any habits. I have a history of disordered eating so seeing the scale move up really bothers me, even though I try to act chill and pretend it doesn't.

3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?
   Practicing gratitude, even though I feel like crap. At night, I sometimes talk to the embryo and tell them I'm thankful we have this time together, no matter what happens. Also just seeing miscarriage statistics drop every.  https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart
Lastly, my usual strategy of just getting outside helps me a lot. It's been pretty snowy here, but I've been trying to make an effort to bundle up even if it's cold and I'm tired, and that helps me feel better. When it's super cold out, I still try to do a low-impact workout or yoga, and that helps. I'll probably start journaling again soon, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?
Not yet, but I'm looking forward to hearing from others  

sandy5693

Thanks for starting this @merostomata!

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?  I am excited and terrified - like many of you expressed in the previous thread I am trying not to get too excited, but also trying not to have my anxiety steal my joy.  It feels like walking a tightrope.

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?  I'm in an IVF cycle and for the past months I've been going to the doctor 2-3 times a week.  Now I'm down to a visit once a week and I wish I could go every other day just to make sure things are progressing normally   My last loss occurred in week 8 so I"m really anxious to get to the point where I can hear a heartbeat and feel like I've gotten over certain milestones.

3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?  I started seeing a therapist this summer and my weekly sessions really help me.  We do a lot of work about staying in the moment and realizing everything is temporary - for me that includes these hormone shots, side effects, and increased stress.  I've also been trying to set some strict boundaries to allow for rest and to take care of myself mentally + physically.  

4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?  I would love to hear everyone's response to #3 - and I want to say thank you for everyone's vulnerability and sharing on here.  It helps to have a community! 

tessiesmom26

I second the thanks for getting this rolling @merostomata

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally? Doing okay. Trying to not let myself get too ahead of the game or too excited, while also trying to enjoy that right now I am pregnant. I have been doing a lot more self care things to keep myself in check, but also allowing myself to feel the feelings when that is needed.

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about? Loss for sure. I had a MMC in July, so coming up to the 1st US the anxiety is growing, but I just need for the appt to get here. One bright side is that the appt is at the office this time. Last time the only availability was at the nearby hospital, so we didn't get to talk to anyone until the nurse called me the next day. It was an excruciating 24 hours, so thankfully if they do find anything concerning, we should be able to talk to someone right away. 

3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health? So I have been watching ASMR videos on TikTok which sounds so lame, but they truly help to relax me and sooth the stress. I especially like to put one on right before bed to relax my mind and help me drift off to sleep. I also like to meditate and listen to podcasts to help clear the mind. 

4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group? Nope

ausfam24

Hello!

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?
I am doing well. I feel very indifferent right now, which is almost a very freeing feeling right now. This has been a long journey for me, I haven’t been so sure about having a second for a while. With my first daughter I had really bad PPD, and she was very colicky. The idea of another baby scared me for a long time. But after therapy, I was finally ready. And I feel a great peace about this right now, which is surprising and a breath of fresh air. Three years ago, if you have told me this, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?
Definitely experiencing PPD again, which is getting a little ahead of myself I know. Trying to take everything this time around one day at a time. I also had HGD last time too, so every meal I eat right now feels like my last haha

3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?
I am in therapy which should help. I try to fit in some yoga or meditation every day

4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?

Actually pertains to question #3. I was thinking about getting a pregnancy journal to do every day. One with prompts. However, all pregnancy journals are very much geared towards first time moms or ask questions like your symptoms, appointments, baby names, etc. and while all those questions are nice, I’m looking for one that might dive a little deeper into how im feeling and could be a little therapeutic for me while I prepare to possibly deal with PPD again. More of a therapeutic journal than a “superficial” one ( I know those aren’t superficial, just a lack of a better word) does anyone have any good pregnancy journal recommendations?

Thanks!

ausfam24

@sandy5693 I love that. Staying in the moment and knowing everything is temporary. I am a STM, and it is so true that everything is a season. Just remind yourself of that always, but be gentle with yourself and know it’s okay to feel like “this super sucks” right now.

gbofo

Hello everyone! Love this thread…

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?
I am feeling excited but also very anxious. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself but I also want to allow myself to be happy, you know?

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?
Definitely loss and just wondering if I’m going to even know how to be a good mom (this will be my first child).


3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?
I’m in therapy so I know that will definitely be a great resource for me. I’ve also adopted the mantra that was in the thread for anxious moms that said “ I can trust that my body was made for this and it knows what to do.” It has really been helpful when I feel myself getting anxious.


4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?
Do mom instincts really just kick in? As a FTM, I am nervous that I won’t know what I’m doing when the time comes.

merostomata

@gbford just in regard to your Q, I think mom instincts usually do take over to an extent, but also it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and unprepared for your first baby (or second!). Some moms feel an immediate bond to their baby, and for others it takes time for the love to grow, but either way is very normal and does not reflect on one's parenting ability.

I went to a newborn class and a breastfeeding class at my local hospital, and that helped me feel better going into it, although they were pretty bare bones. Reading books about newborns help too. The vast majority of the learning is "on the job" though, so to speak And every baby is different so you just have to go with it and get to know them as an individual.

gbofo

@merostomata thank you for the feedback! ☺️I’ll definitely check out some books and local classes.

krthouse

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?
I've had some wild and sudden waves of irritability/anger about things around the house. I think it's largely because I'm so tired so things pile up and then I get frustrated about it. Also the exhaustion is really hard when wrangling a very explorative and curious toddler. Definitely some anxiety too, though overall feeling much more confident and chill about the changes happening.
2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?
I'm really worried about getting through my coursework with the levels of exhaustion I'm feeling. I used to use my son's naptime or once he was down for the night to handle it all but now I just want to sleep too. 
3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?
Something that helped a lot with my first pregnancy was reminding myself that my body is designed to do this, and now having had him I find even more peace and groundedness in that thought. This year I'm trying out daily affirmations that I adjust each month, my favourites being "I am strong and capable" and "it is okay to surrender". I also credit a lot of my finding balance to working with my therapist. I also found in my first pregnancy that fuelling myself with information was good for me so I may reread some of the resources I found helpful.
4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group?
None for now!

rockstarmomma152

1. How are you doing this month, emotionally?

So far, so good. I’m of course in what feels like a weird liminal space, hopeful but still feeling very tentative about everything. Also have a lot going on otherwise in my life right now (hiring new people at my small business, putting my house on the market and upcoming move, plus a couple other projects), so feeling very busy and having a lot of energy and excitement, but nervous about if nausea and other symptoms get worse how I might not be able to juggle everything. 

2. Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about? 

I’ve had two CPs, so just being cautious around my hopefulness there. I go for my second betas tomorrow. Anxious to get to the ultrasound stage. 

3. Have you found any strategies, resources, or mantras that have helped you with your mental health?

Different things help me at different times. Hiking, talking to friends, acupuncture, yoga, writing, singing, resting, getting out of the city… 

4. Do you have any questions for STM+s or the greater group? Nope ☺️