SO Saturday 2/5

acleverusername

Let's hear it: how is your SO making you fall in love with them all over again, or making you want to plot their murder in gruesome details?

acleverusername

@optimistgardener I know this thread implicitly excludes you, so - if you want - you can share a story about an ex or about someone else's SO. 


I already complained about it in the dailies, but I still find myself scratching my head over this. MH took Monday + Tuesday off for the move. Monday we were still moving; Tuesday I was back to work and he wanted to get some unpacking done. I was in meetings most of the day (that's my life these days; welcome to management) and by the time the day ended, I found out that he unpacked the following things: 

- stereo (and not fully, because he couldn't find where he stowed some of the cables... so can't even listen to music)
- books for the bookshelves (not something we need immediate access to)
- liquor cart
- TV (this...I wasn't mad about)
- his graphic novel stand and graphic novels

But not anything required to make dinner. By then we'd been eating take out for 3 days and look... I'm on a diet, right? Not the best thing for my diet. 

So I got really pissed because I had to then go an unpack 2 boxes of stuff so that I had some things to make dinner. It took me a while to articulate just why I was mad at him (that he unpacked the stuff in the wrong order) so I didn't tell him about it until just before we went to bed. And I considered not saying anything, but that's just fertile ground for accumulating resentment (one of the 4 horsemen of apocalypse). Plus, the following day was our anniversary so I didn't want to be resentful/mad at him on our anniversary. 

But the thing about MH (and I know this, so whenever I tell him he pissed me off, I take a calculated risk), is that he gets into a bad mood. Because his way of dealing with any hurt feelings is just to bury them deep down so that they don't bubble up. So, Wednesday (our anniversary) starts off with him being mad at ME. And I'm like "why are you mad at me?" and he's like "you didn't say anything all last evening, and just told me right before bedtime." And then I say "well, yeah, because it took me a while to articulate to myself why I was pissed off at you, and I didn't want to tell you that I'm 'pissed off'". So then he's like "there were multiple ways we could have solved problems of dinner last night" and I'm like "yeah, but THAT's not why I was mad." Lol. 

But then, by the end of the day, he's back to his normal, charming self. Lol. It's like he forgot he was mad. Or something. Anyways, I KNOW that's how he usually is, so I just roll my eyes and put up with it, knowing that it will blow over pretty quickly. 

Is anyone else's H/partner that way?  

optimistgardener

thanks @acleverusername for thinking of me. i enjoy hearing about y'all's SO complaints! and while it's tempting to drag my exs into the mix here... I'll think on it a bit.

abjm0325

@acleverusername MH is also a fun, moody individual if you get upset at him or point out a problem. It's so much fun. 

I will give him praise for today though! He did a tedious task for several hours this morning that had been on our list AND made me lunch. Not too shabby. 

bearmomma1

@acleverusername my H is very similar and we just had an evening last night of the same! I called him out for something he was doing, he chose to get mad at me for a word I used in calling out his actions, and we spent the rest of the evening arguing with me being the bad guy because of said word. (The word was “evil”). Fortunately neither of us are holding grudges this morning and are moving on with our day!

acleverusername

@abjm0325 I'm glad I'm not the only one with an H who doesn't hold grudges. And I"m so happy he did all those things for you yesterday! He's a keeper!

@bearmomma1 good for you for moving on and not letting your tense convo linger. Unfortunately I'm very good at holding a grudge so I really need to speak out about it so that I don't let resentment grow. 

bearmomma1

@acleverusername the saying of “never go to bed angry” is not true for us. Sometimes it’s better to just go to bed and wake up and talk about it again once we’ve had time to cool off. 

My H apologized later today for making such a big deal about it last night. And I promised to ever use the word “evil” again. (Didn’t know it was so triggering for him) This has been a semi-common occurrence for us with all the shit we’ve been dealt with lately.