- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
October 2022 Moms
mckenzc
member
To the Anxious Mama to Be…
mckenzc
member
I saw a comment on the introductions page that inspired me to share this.
To the first time mama to be who is anxious and worried…
Take a deep breath & repeat after me, “my body knows what to do and I am doing the most to support my body and my baby.” Repeat until you feel a sense of TRUST within yourself (and your higher power, should you find peace with that).
I know how it feels to be anxious and worried and paranoid over this new life within—is it growing? Is it healthy? Did I remember to take my prenatals last Tuesday? Oh shit, I didn’t—does that mean something will go wrong? Did I workout too hard? All I want is bagels and pizza—that can’t be healthy for the baby?! So-and-so was telling me about her miscarriage and now I am paranoid….All of these questions and anxieties and worries are normal and valid. But, mama, you cannot focus on what is out of control, nor should you worry about things not yet confirmed for you, as they may never be a worry you needed to hold. Miscarriages are not contagious. Whatever food you can stomach to eat during the first trimester nausea is perfectly fine. Worry about broccoli and salad later. Forgot prenatals a day or two? Oops, get back on track. Remember that although there are some general precautions, pregnant women are not highly fragile or weak—you CAN workout, you CAN have sex, you can stretch… in general, there are only a FEW no-no’s and even then, it’s not the end of the world if you had 2 margaritas the night before seeing those first pink lines—OOPS! (also, been there…she’s a totally healthy 2 year old BTW! 🤣)
I am carrying my third. And although I have been here twice before and carried full term to two health babies, I, too, have these worries that bubble up and attempt to steal my joy. Here is what I do: I focus on the POSITIVES and I focus on the things I CAN control:
The Positives:
- Those two pink lines….which were also darker lines a few days later (my HcG must have increased!)
- I am nauseous AF….I choose to take this as a sign that things are going well, my body is surrendering to new life (insert whatever symptom you have)
-I am Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (IVF community calls this PUPA!) I have NO reasons to actively believe anything else. I am pregnant.
The only things I can control right now:
-I can remember to take prenatals (but know that folate and DHA are also in many foods I eat if I forget a day)
-I can drink water all day and stay hydrated
-I can eat as balanced as I can, but have grace for whatever sounds good
-I can avoid the obvious nono’s: alcohol, certain medications, etc.
-I can take a rest when I need a rest
-I can be active and move my body when I have the energy
-I can trust that my body was made for this and it knows what to do.
-I can enjoy this pregnancy to the maximum extent possible (knowing some days kinda suck, though) and not let worries or anxieties steal my joy.
So, again, deep breath, trust, joy. Go ahead and look at pinterest nurseries. Go ahead and ponder baby names. Plan these things because you are Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. Don’t want to get your hopes up? Mama, your hopes are higher than you even want to admit. So do these things with joy and trust. Don’t face any mountains or obstacles until (and only IF) they become a reality. Unless a doctor specifically restricts you, your body can do pretty much anything it physically did before those two pink lines.
You were made for this.
To the first time mama to be who is anxious and worried…
Take a deep breath & repeat after me, “my body knows what to do and I am doing the most to support my body and my baby.” Repeat until you feel a sense of TRUST within yourself (and your higher power, should you find peace with that).
I know how it feels to be anxious and worried and paranoid over this new life within—is it growing? Is it healthy? Did I remember to take my prenatals last Tuesday? Oh shit, I didn’t—does that mean something will go wrong? Did I workout too hard? All I want is bagels and pizza—that can’t be healthy for the baby?! So-and-so was telling me about her miscarriage and now I am paranoid….All of these questions and anxieties and worries are normal and valid. But, mama, you cannot focus on what is out of control, nor should you worry about things not yet confirmed for you, as they may never be a worry you needed to hold. Miscarriages are not contagious. Whatever food you can stomach to eat during the first trimester nausea is perfectly fine. Worry about broccoli and salad later. Forgot prenatals a day or two? Oops, get back on track. Remember that although there are some general precautions, pregnant women are not highly fragile or weak—you CAN workout, you CAN have sex, you can stretch… in general, there are only a FEW no-no’s and even then, it’s not the end of the world if you had 2 margaritas the night before seeing those first pink lines—OOPS! (also, been there…she’s a totally healthy 2 year old BTW! 🤣)
I am carrying my third. And although I have been here twice before and carried full term to two health babies, I, too, have these worries that bubble up and attempt to steal my joy. Here is what I do: I focus on the POSITIVES and I focus on the things I CAN control:
The Positives:
- Those two pink lines….which were also darker lines a few days later (my HcG must have increased!)
- I am nauseous AF….I choose to take this as a sign that things are going well, my body is surrendering to new life (insert whatever symptom you have)
-I am Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (IVF community calls this PUPA!) I have NO reasons to actively believe anything else. I am pregnant.
The only things I can control right now:
-I can remember to take prenatals (but know that folate and DHA are also in many foods I eat if I forget a day)
-I can drink water all day and stay hydrated
-I can eat as balanced as I can, but have grace for whatever sounds good
-I can avoid the obvious nono’s: alcohol, certain medications, etc.
-I can take a rest when I need a rest
-I can be active and move my body when I have the energy
-I can trust that my body was made for this and it knows what to do.
-I can enjoy this pregnancy to the maximum extent possible (knowing some days kinda suck, though) and not let worries or anxieties steal my joy.
So, again, deep breath, trust, joy. Go ahead and look at pinterest nurseries. Go ahead and ponder baby names. Plan these things because you are Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. Don’t want to get your hopes up? Mama, your hopes are higher than you even want to admit. So do these things with joy and trust. Don’t face any mountains or obstacles until (and only IF) they become a reality. Unless a doctor specifically restricts you, your body can do pretty much anything it physically did before those two pink lines.
You were made for this.
Re: To the Anxious Mama to Be…
Thank you so much for writing this, it is nice knowing you’re not the only one feeling certain ways. Keeping this mantra in mind!
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
Also super into the monthly mental health check in!!
Thank you SO much for this post.