All About Breastfeeding

aukeev

Drop your BFing questions, concerns and tips here!

paytonpedro

I guess I’ll start to keep this bumped (and because my kids are entertained atm). I combo fed my first for 4 months until I dried up and then he got formula exclusively. He had a really hard time latching and it was super painful for me. It got to the point where at 4 days old, I dreaded feeding him. Formula initially made me feel guilty but I knew he needed it and ultimately, fed is best. He’s an outrageously intelligent and healthy almost 6yo now!

My second, I mostly ebf for 18 months. He had a perfect latch and it was just easy. He occasionally had formula bottles from my mil when she watched him but he wouldn’t take a bottle from me. I chose to wean him when he started biting my nipples and drawing blood at about 17 months. He handled it very well and I think it was more sad for me, despite the ouchie nips. 

I loved the spectra (I think s2) pump! I still have it and plan on using it again but just buying new parts. I also plan on getting a manual pump I think, solely for work to take a bit off the top. 

Ohhhhh and ABSOLUTELY 100% DEFINITELY get a haakaa!! It collects the letdown from one side while you nurse on the other! I collected and froze multiple bottles just by doing that! 

As mentioned in a previous thread, I also recommend taking advantage of the hospitals lactation consultant. I had her in my room with my first almost more than the nurses. And while bfing didn’t work great, she made me feel confident and gave me great tips. It was just my babe who couldn’t get the hang of it. 

I will happily answer any other questions. 😁

aukeev

@paytonpedro YES to the spectra! It rocks. As does the Haaka. I’m glad your second experience was easier than the first! My DS1 also wouldn’t take a bottle from me, but would take it from anyone else. 

brittanynmorris

I’ve heard a LOT of moms recommend the Spectra and I’m currently researching. I thought I wanted more of a hands-off approach, like the Willow or the Elvie, but it looks like those are made for a more specific body. Is being tied down with a pump as dramatic as it sounds? I’m very interested in BF and as a FTM it something I really want to do and work hard at unless something happens to where I need to switch, like @paytonpedro did. I’m just thinking that my breaks at work are not consistent and with a hands free pump, I could pop in and still teach, make copies, etc. I’m just trying to research a ton and figure everything out! (Which I know will never happen until babe is here!)

wigglyicecream

I EBF my daughter for 2.5 years. I never planned on going very long but after the initial hurdles and once we got the hang of it, it was much easier to deal with. I also pumped for quite some time and had a great stash only problem was my daughter wouldn’t drink frozen milk. I think I might have had high lipase and my freshly thawed milk smelled sour a lot of times. Also worth nothing my daughter wouldn’t take a bottle until I found the magic one from M0mma. I was at my wits end and had bought every other brand. 

My insurance covered an Ameda which looking back wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great. Eventually I got a Spectra and it was much more tolerable. I don’t think I had the right size flanges for my nipples and pumping was very uncomfortable for me. Once I realized DD wasn’t drinking thawed milk I would only pump right before work so she had fresh milk to drink while I was gone. Truth be told I loathe pumping and applaud EP moms bc it is such hard work. 

The Hakka was great at catching milk for me as well as busting up stubborn and painful clogs. 

I’m also open to any and all questions that I can answer. I am by no means an expert but I will do my best to answer to the best of my knowledge 

I just want to end with FED IS BEST and you’re not a failure or less than if you choose or have to supplement with formula. 

cas060

Maybe an UO, but my advice is to have formula on hand as a back up for those early days. Its not a crutch, failure, easy road.. but it can literally save your sanity when you're so desperate for sleep.

Also, get a comfy breastfeeding pillow/cushion.  Mine sucked, I'm in the market if anyone has a rec. 

Lastly, read up on different bfing positions. My daughter had a broken arm at birth so we couldn't do the traditional hold on one side and I didn't know the other holds til my mw finally showed me.

Eta: my just about 3 year old still nurses for 10 mins before bed, she LOVES it.  She has made it clear to me already that she still wants milk once the baby comes along 😅

wigglyicecream

@cas060 I’m interested to see if my DD wants to go back to nursing when baby is born. She just turned 3 and still seeks my breast for comfort. She basically twiddles on top or on the side which is what she did while she nursed. 

Funny story prior to my BFP my daughter grabbed my breasts and when I asked what she was doing she laughed and said “trying to get the milk out” 

darkrose88

@brittanynmorris I pumped for a year with DS and will most likely end up having to pump with this baby too. Here's my experience: I had a Medela and it worked fine for my desk job. I invested in som really nice hands free bras, would go to the pumping room twice per day, throw those bad boys on and work from my laptop. I was pretty much trapped at the desk while pumping. When I was at home, if DS didn't want to nurse I had to pump to keep up my milk supply. But as DS got more mobile, I felt trapped by my pump as I couldn't move around. Now as a mom of a 4 year old, it would be literally be impossible for me to pump with my Medela in the same room as him. I was not a fast producer when using the pump. It would take me a long time to get everything out. Babies are way more efficient. This is not everyone's experience. I went to a wedding, and both me and my friend were BFing so stepped out to pump. My friend produced double the amount of milk in half the time it took me to produce the same amount. Both of us pumping with the exact same pump. That being said, if you want to be able to teach, move around, etc. I highly recommend going with a pump that doesn't tie you down. I know that's most likely what I'll end up going with this time around. 

starkette

@cas060 YES. Having formula on hand was SO good for us.

Get a small amount of sensitive formula with the nipple attachment included. Those tiny bottles were literally a lifesaver. My milk didn't come in for like 4 days and those first 4 days are sooo crucial. She didn't latch well, had reflux, and I had like zero milk. It was hard and I felt guilty for supplementing with formula but it saved her so it was worth it. She was breastfed and formula fed since I had to go back to work at 12 weeks and my body did not like pumping. My supply went down so much, but I still BF her morning, afternoon, and night. All other times she got formula and solids when she was old enough of course.

My preemie got what I could give, but my body went through so much trauma that apparently it was enough to make me never produce more than a few drops. So we was fed donor milk until she was 4 lbs and she's been on formula ever since.

Both my daughters are very healthy and thriving. 

For this one, I hope to BF but will be okay with whatever my body wants/doesn't want. It was really hard to BF my first, but the formula helped ease the burden and stress. I was lucky though, she didn't have nipple confusion or sensitivities to formula.

As for lactation consultants, the hospital ones are hit or miss. I feel like many of them have the same answers your can find online. I needed so much help and didn't feel like I got it. Instead, I asked other moms in my area and got the number for a private consultant and she was AMAZING. Her insights and suggestions were golden. I would've given up without her.

wigglyicecream

@darkrose88 I’ve heard and read that output can be impacted by flange sizes. I know that was a huge issue for me. 

@brittanynmorris I would read some reviews and even lurk some other bmbs when they do spotlights on pumps. I can’t remember which month I was lurking in but somebody said that hands free pumps you’re talking about aren’t that great at getting the milk out. Obviously each woman is different and their output, ability to make milk, nipple size and many other factors all play into pumping and breastfeeding in general 

darkrose88

@wigglyicecream I really wish it had made a difference for me. I measured my nipples and bought a range of flanges to test out because I wasn't 100% sure what size I needed. I discovered which ones fit and which ones didn't but trial and error. The flanges I went with were so much more comfortable than the original one that Medela provides. But it would still take me an insane amount of time to produce milk with a pump. DS could empty me on both sides in 15 mins by the time he was 6 months. It could take me 30-45 mins to be emptied using my pump with the comfy flanges - even at a higher speed. 🤷‍♀️ 

wigglyicecream

@darkrose88 I only had real successful pumping in the earlier days when my milk seemed plentiful. Once DD got the hang of it and I leveled out pumping was so hard for me too. I used nipple butter, different flanges, different pump, but it just wasn’t it for me. Luckily I had fabulous success with the Haaka even after my supply leveled and could get milk for the few bottles she would take that way. 

buffythevampireslayer

I ended up renting a hospital grade pump which I would use at home and that helped A TON with supply bc that sucker is strong. I will probably do the same this time around especially if I am working from home.

darkrose88

@wigglyicecream I definitely regret not getting a Haaka last time. I've heard so many great things about it. Also, pumping is not for the faint of heart. I did it for a year and was soooo done by the time DS reached 1. I could have kept nursing DS much longer. I loved nursing snuggles. Sadly by 13 months he only wanted his bottle (which was all formula at that point since I was done pumping). 

wigglyicecream

@darkrose88 I know the first thing going on your registry. Also I hear you, there is some special about the BF snuggles and also a part of me was envious of kids that took bottles since I never got the opportunity to get a break from nursing until I was done done. I fully believe my daughter would still be nursing if I didn’t decide it was time for us to wean. 

and_peggy

I’d just like to mention a couple things that many women don’t talk about.

1) breast size has absolutely nothing to do with your production.

2) how often your baby eats often has more to do with your makeup, not theirs. Yes, they have small
tummies and eat often. But if your baby wants to eat every hour, while another baby the same age eats every 3 hours, that’s because your bodies are different. This stems from me trying to nurse 4 babies who ate every single hour when I nursed. After researching and speaking to LCs, I learned that it because I had less glands and that meant my breasts maybe only held 3oz of milk at once. Some women may hold 12. You just never know.

3. It’s okay if it’s not a magical experience and you hate it. I didn’t nurse my first baby. It just never happened. And the second for 4 months before I realized how much it was causing PPD. I nursed baby 3 for about 2 months and then he had a lip/tongue tie that made it excruciating and impossible and after his revision, it was done. Baby 4 I nursed every 60 minutes a full year. I didn’t feel joy, I felt relieved when it was done because he never took a bottle.

4. Feed your baby. Bottle, breast, formula. it’s okay to plan one thing and change it up. It’s important that they’re fed but also that your mental health is in tact. 3/4 were severely jaundiced and I had to supplement in the hospital. It’s okay. It might not be how you plan or expect but that baby is not ruined if they have formula. They’re not ruined if you have them on a boob 24/7 until they’re 18 months old. You do what works for your health, and your family and you answer to nobody else.

5. Nursing covers are the worst and uncomfortable and I’d rather just whip the boob out.

Your partner, husband, boyfriend, whoever does not get to decide how you feed the baby. They just don’t.

I’m not a wealth of bf knowledge. But I will advocate that you take care of yourself. Can’t fill a cup if you’re empty. I realized that very early in my motherhood journey and I’m very grateful.

meagan822

This is a really judgement free & uplifting chat, so thank you. And thanks to all the moms willing to offer advice!

My “plan.” In case anyone else is just enjoying how everyone’s plans or experiences are unique as much as I am. I’ve never felt strongly about wanting to breastfeed and the past couple years I have leaned a lot more towards pumping. Everyone I know who wanted to breastfeed and had a rough start said it was worth the difficulty in the first little while/days/weeks if you wanted to go that route. But that made me ask myself if I even wanted to go that route in the first place. And ultimately (at this time) I want to try pumping as my first option. I want to have skin on skin cuddles either way, so I don’t feel that I have to miss a lot. This way would let me pump when works for me a little more and then hubby can have lots of turns for bonding too and to give me breaks at night. After a few months, I’m open to switching to formula.  I’m sure it will feel like I can have my body to myself in a way, which could be helpful for PPD. My husband is supportive of whatever I choose, which is a nice feeling. I’m open to things changing as we go, but FED IS BEST!!💕

@and_peggy I love your tips. Thank you! The Haaka is a must have for me!! And I don’t plan on buying nursing covers. I’ll have some multipurpose swaddle blankets that can serve that purpose or as burp cloths too. 

@cas060 We plan to switch to formula at some point, but good idea to have it at the start! I’ll probably even bring some in the hospital bag just in case pumping doesn’t go as planned! 

wisewitch222

My advice: read/learn everything you can about breastfeeding before you give birth so you know what to expect, and then keep reading about it along your breastfeeding journey as things change. Breastfeeding is natural, but just because something's  natural doesn't mean it's painless and effortless - case in point: birth. (Also, just because something's natural doesn't mean it's always going to work. Before formula, babies who couldn't breastfeed died. If it doesn't work for you, embrace the modern technology of formula!)

The first couple of days your baby has to figure out how to nurse, so they will chew on your nipples trying to eke out the colostrum. This is uncomfortable, may hurt, and makes your nipples sore for a few days. (Lanolin is the best for this!!) My point about knowing this is that "painful" nursing at the beginning doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem or a bad latch or a tongue tie. (Maybe there is. Use lactation consultants.) But someone with a teeny teeny tiny mouth is going to start chomping on your nipples, and there will be some discomfort that's totally unproblematic. If you know that going in, it's less likely to be alarming to you and cause anxiety that nursing is not going well. 

The Three Week Growth Spurt is a very difficult time that can be really discouraging, and I've heard of several moms quit at this time because they think they're not making enough milk. But there is a few day window around this period where babies cluster feed constantly, barely sleep, and are never satisfied. It sucks and it ends. I knew about it going in, I read about it during both the growth spurts of both my kids, and I experienced it. The weirdest thing was both boys have different bodies, personalities, mouths; one was a week early and one was a week late; my milk came in on the first day with #2, but both went through this difficult growth spurt. After the spurt, it did get easy, and I exclusively breast fed both kids until around 4 months when I started leaving them for longer stretches of the day and they needed formula because there wasn't enough pumped milk because I hated pumping. 

I also second the Boppy (though they don't fit every body type. There are other brands that are different shapes so I recommend physically looking in a Buy Buy Baby or Target to feel some before hand.) But definitely recommend a nursing pillow! They bring baby up to you so you don't have to hunch over and hurt your back. 

Also +1 for the Hakaa (though mine didn't have that name. I think it was Milkies?) I always called it the side-boober.

Other things I benefited from reading about was spit-up (if it's not painful or projectile, it's fine, and doesn't mean baby lost their meal!), how often to feed at each age, week to week, and strong let-down. All these things can be discouraging and make you think there's a problem if you didn't expect them or know how to deal with them. Strong let-down was the one thing I called the LC about with my #1.

Finally, mental health is health. Even if you can physically do all the breastfeeding but mentally it's not going well for you, remember you live in the 21st century. You don't have to suffer - you can feed your baby formula (or pump, which is something someone else will have to speak to) and care for yourself AND your baby!

I hope this is helpful to someone. 

and_peggy

@wisewitch222 you reminded about how hard that first week is. Between the hormone crash, physical exhaustion, lack of sleep, constant hunger and thirst…I have always felt very dizzy and lightheaded. Its so brutal. 

wisewitch222

@and_peggy It is! Moral support for you (and everyone) trying it this time around!

leahrnmom

I BF my two kiddos, one until 16 months and the other until 18. I stopped pumping at a little over a year. We introduced cows milk at 12 months. We slowly mixed it with bm and once they had cows milk I stopped pumping. I didn't keep formula at home but would not have been opposed to having my H go get some had we needed it. I have a very pleasant experience with BF. I feel so lucky because I know that's not always the case. I appreciate what @wisewitch222 said about the first few days being comfortable for your nipples. It was uncomfortable for me but rarely so much that I felt the want to stop. It got better after about 2 weeks for me. My nipples got used to it. I have the random plugged duct but never had mastitis. I didn't have the Hakka with my first but did with my second and it was amazing. I got so much milk throughout the day. I hated pumping so much. I give so much credit to anyone that did it for any amount of time. I felt so anxious when I was pumping. I really loved breastfeeding and can't wait to breastfed again. I know this journey could be different but I'm hopeful. 

I might have to look into the spectra. I always got the madela and it worked ok for me. 

aukeev

@wisewitch222 AMEN! Thank you for sharing all of that. 

starkette

LOVING THIS!! I felt SO much pressure to BF my babies from friends who were more crunchy than me but I wanted to do what was best so I listened to their judgement. Every time I used formula I felt like I was failing. That is not true!! Fed is best. No judgement! Deciding to formula feed right off the bat is valid. Deciding to partially BF and partially formula feed is valid. Deciding to BF and then finding it too hard and switching to formula is valid. BFing exclusively is valid. BFing until toddlerhood and beyond is valid.

tmartin014

I’m with you @starkette I am loving all of these points of view. We had issues with our little NICU baby so I was EP for 6 weeks. On top of everything else it was just too much for me, so we went to only formula after that and I always felt like I had to justify my decisions to other people. No matter how I end up feeding this new baby, I will be confident enough in myself as a mother to not have to justify it to anyone 💪🏼

bridgiebee82

Ok so I'd really like to BF, but since I'll be staying home, will it be necessary for me to pump? Where does this question belong? 🤔 

itsme215

This thread is SUPER helpful, thank you to everyone for sharing. I’ve kinda just assumed that I will give breastfeeding a shot and I hope it works but if it doesn’t, I’ll be okay with it. I will be going back to the office and while I have my own office with a door so pumping is logistically very doable, if that doesn’t work either, I’ll be fine with that too. 

wigglyicecream

@bridgiebee82 I think the question belongs here. You may have to pump for to maintain supply or to fry and build a stash if you want YH to be able to feed babies breast milk. Are you willing to supplement if you need to? 

paytonpedro

@bridgiebee82 ditto to what wiggly said. Pumping is only necessary if you want someone else to be able to feed the babies your milk, or if your babes won’t take formula. But also it does help build and maintain a supply, which with twins might be a little different than with just one. Maybe a past twin mama can chime in more on that?

I’m  a sahm and my second wouldn’t take a bottle from me. But I used the haakaa and pumped occasionally to have milk for my mil to feed the baby for nights out or when I would work on Saturday mornings. I honestly can’t even remember but I don’t know if I did that they whole time or if she started giving him formula. 

I definitely agree with having formula on hand just in case!!

@meagan822 I think you mentioned bringing formula to the hospital, the hospital most definitely has formula for baby to use while there (and can likely even send you home with a little too!) Maybe call just to be sure closer to when the time comes, but one less thing to have to remember to pack is super nice! I know all of our local hospitals have formula and after my second, I was dead exhausted and begged the nurse to take him for a few hours and feed him formula so I could sleep (he was born at 3:21am). I didn’t sleep and was up every hour waiting for him to come back. Lol

bridgiebee82

@wigglyicecream @paytonpedro

Ahhh good call with the pumping so others can feed the babes. 

lmaplejc

Such a great and supportive thread!

I BF my first until 16 months.  I hated pumping, but loved breastfeeding after a rocky start.  My milk took a few days to come in, and I did a ton of skin to skin to get things going which worked.  I remember the letdowns of those first days being so painful I almost stopped.  When I started pumping I had an issue with pumps accessing my milk.  First, I had a Medela through insurance, which wasn’t strong enough.  I then bought a Spectra, followed by a Bellababy because it had strong suction.  Looking back, I wish I rented a hospital grade one.  @buffythevampireslayer Do you remember which pump you rented?  

Manual pumps and the Haakaa unfortunately didn’t work for me for the same access reason.  The only upside to having that issue, is no leaking.  Lots of power pumping and work to get enough stash when he started daycare.  I had to supplement with formula bottles for daycare at around 10 months because I couldn’t keep up with my pump output.  I’m so looking forward to breastfeeding this new bub, but not looking forward to pumping.

darkrose88

@lmaplejc I find it interesting that the Medela didn't work for you because of suction strength. I didn't ever consider the pump strength could have been the reason it took me so long to pump the milk out. But I recall using the top setting and it still taking forever for the milk to all get out. I figured it was because of how the baby sucked it out vs strength. That's definitely food for thought for the next pump...

lmaplejc

@darkrose88 Looking back at your comments, it seems like we may have had a similar journey.  I tried different flanges, breastfeeding groups, and ended up realizing that access was the issue.  A weighted feed proved my son was drawing a lot more milk than a pump could pull.  I’ve heard that subsequent pregnancies might resolve the issue on their own, but if it happens again I’ll probably rent a hospital grade.  Medela didn’t work as well for me as the others, and I’d be at the strongest setting of every pump I’d try.  A friend with the same issue recommended the Bellababy.  It had the strongest suction, and I think it was less than $50 on Amazon.

darkrose88

@lmaplejc I won't lie, I was so overwhelmed between working full time and being a new mom that at the time I just went with the flow and accepted the pump wasn't going to be as efficient. It is most likely what lead my production suffering and by 6 months us needing to supplement with formula.

Truth be told I have no clue what my experience will be like this time because I will be in a different situation. I'll be working full time at home, and DH will be watching DS & baby. I could pump while working. But chances are I'll most likely try and nurse when baby is little instead out of convenience. I'm not sure if it feasible. I think if it proves to be too much I'll invest in a stronger pump and go from there. 

buffythevampireslayer

@lmaplejc I got the Medela Symphony from the hospital. It’s big and comes in like a rolly suitcase lol so definitely not portable but a lifesaver for supply and a great pump to have at home for a little while. Basically, regular pumps did not compare. The only thing with is, the rental fee is not cheap. It’s like a $2500 pump. But I told myself it was good for the environment, lol. 

buffythevampireslayer

Oh, another random thing, my favorite position, and my baby’s favorite position, was breastfeeding while lying down. I’m a small person with pretty huge boobs and basically I would lie on my side and she would lie on her side and it was super lazy but it turns out we both liked it best that way. I had a much harder time in the beginning when I tried to like find a position where I was holding her or using breastfeeding pillows, and with the combo of big boobs and like not huge nipples it made it easier for her. A lactation consultant helped us figure this out but figured I would share, it’s a lovey way to breastfeed in bed!

I also had lactation consultants visit me at home the first two weeks. They would help troubleshoot any issues and could weigh the baby before and after feeds to basically confirm that she was eating plenty which was a weird source of anxiety in the beginning. I highly recommend this and often your insurance will cover it. It was super nice to not have to go anywhere and have an expert come to my home.

lmaplejc

@darkrose88 that makes total sense.  I’m hoping it will be easier this time for both of us.

@buffythevampireslayer saving the environment, one pump at a time! 😆   Thank you, I think I’ll try it if I don’t have luck with standard pumps again.

sarahdaley11

Anyone have tips or suggestions for a first time mom planning on BF twins? I’ll eventually go back to work between 8-12w and be pumping so advice there is welcomed! 

wigglyicecream

@sarahdaley11 my best suggestion would be to make sure you utilize lactation consultants. Also I would invest in a pump to maintain supply and build a stash so others can bottle feed babies and help. I also would suggest a nursing pillow that can accommodate both babies if you plan to nurse them simultaneously. I’ve never had twins so it just the same advice I would give any FTM. Also as others have said above formula isn’t the enemy and if you need/want to supplement you should do so guilt free bc FED IS BEST. ❤️

rikiteacup

@bridgiebee82 having a pump will be useful if you need to release pressure and to build a little stash so you can be out and about. But I would say don't stress too much. Pumping is work (washing parts, bottles...). During my maternity leave, I pumped as little as I needed to and still managed to build a stash.

wisewitch222

@bridgiebee82 From my twin mom friends (5 separate ones), they all bottle-fed, whether they did formula or pumping, but none of them exclusively breast fed twins. Not saying you can't, but it does seem like it would be an especially good idea to own/rent a pump if you're having twins.

buffythevampireslayer

@bridgiebee82 lucie’s list has a whole special section on multiples including info on breastfeeding multiples from multiples moms. I have read through it just out of curiosity and thought it was super interesting and full of good info. 

ETA link (if I did it right?)

https://www.lucieslist.com/breastfeeding-twins/