Family members, in-laws, friends, strangers— everyone has an opinion when you're pregnant! Let's hear some of the (un)helpful advice / comments / tips that you've been receiving these days!
I’ll start us off with this lovely gem from my dad recently:
”You’re not actually going to have him pronounce his last name like that, are you? So the kids at school will have to say ‘hey, pass the ball to (______)?’ You’ll need to give him a really strong first name to make up for his last name.”
First of all, thanks for learning how to pronounce our last name up to this point dad. Second, we live in a very diverse, multicultural area where his peers will have a huge variety of names. I’m sure ours will not be the only one that sounds foreign!
For context, our French last name can be difficult to spell and pronounce for English-speakers. In fact, different members of hubby’s family even pronounce the name differently— my FIL pronounces it different from how my MIL pronounced it when she was married to him. When we got married we decided our family will stick with the traditional pronunciation used by thousands of families across France and Canada. Apparently, my dad (still living in the small minded small town we are from) thinks it’s too “feminine” and “foreign sounding” and prefers the “Americanized” version (aka the mispronounced version).
Oh man, where to start. We haven’t had as many this time because we’ve been more isolated— physically and on social media— but I got/get a lot with DD6. Mostly about our more gentle approach to parenting (we don’t spank, which is very out of place with how DH and I were both raised). Lots of comments about how ineffective time-out is and how “she just needs a good whoopin’” (from the in-laws, my parents never say anything to us about parenting choices). DD6 is incredibly well-behaved so I’m not sure where they get this from. Also a lot of “you’ll get tired of it fast” in regards to our cloth diapering (we exclusively used cloth for almost two years so obvs we didn’t), and weird backlash about my breastfeeding choices. DD6 self-weaned at 20 months so it wasn’t like I was breastfeeding a first grader (no judgment btw). But I got a lot of “you’re ruining her teeth”, “how does your husband feel about that”, “do you want help covering up”, and some variation of “you’re spoiling her, she needs to soothe herself, etc” from complete strangers as well as from acquaintances and in-laws.
I feel like most of what annoys me is the totally outdated “advice” people give me about medical management. I had one coworker tell me I had to get rid of my cats now because they’re dangerous around babies. Uh, no. Also the “you need to give up coffee, tea, wine, exercise, etc” comments, or when people try to push food on me because I’m supposedly “eating for two” now. Oh, and the other day someone (not in anyway medically-affiliated) told me my MFM made a mistake and I needed to be on bed rest until I delivered so I should just go ahead and do that. But I think in the 6 years since we had DD we’ve done a good job building our village and making it clear to the in-laws that we don’t need or want their advice unless we ask for it, so the comments have gotten less and less as time goes by. Except the occasional stupid auntie in Target or whatever asking why DD isn’t wearing any socks or some variation of being a nosy ass.
Oh man there are so many…but one that comes to mind and absolutely annoys me (I have caught myself also saying it, which makes it worst!). The below applies to pregnancy and after baby is born.
You are sharing a pregnancy complaint, or a hard stage of the baby’s life, struggling etc, with a fellow mom/dad/grandma etc. Instead of providing support or solidarity, Their answer is “Yeah, just wait until….(basically the next hard stage comes)”. You think you have it bad…we’ll it’s about to get worst…Is probably the worst thing you can say to someone whenever they are struggling.
An example…”Man, I am having a really hard time with my toddler sleeping through the night, I am so tired”. Reply-“Well, get ready because you will a have newborn soon and then you’ll know what being tired really is…”
really????
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@queenklau YES! What is that?? Like we don’t understand that newborns are hard. Stuff sucks, just shut up and let me complain! Or the people that want to share their horrific birth/breastfeeding/parenting stories with FTMs. “Just expect it to be awful, just you wait.” What is it that makes people so weird around pregnancy?
My mom keeps saying I need a ‘real’ doctor because I’m using a midwife instead of an OB. Mom- midwives actually have better maternal and fetal outcomes. Also I’m birthing at YALE. Like that really amazing top world tier university. With Yale midwives. I think we will be fine.
Also the backlash from olds I get about not wanting a lot of toys or plastic toys or blinky/noise toys. Just because in the 50s you thought ‘more crappy shit’ was better, doesn’t make it so.
@queenklau I always got the "well try having 4 under 4!!" or "I had twins AND a toddler" from my MIL when I was expressing my struggles when my son was first born. Like, NOT HELPFUL THANKS
This is a little later on (not baby stage) but I can’t stand the comments from the ILs and extended family questioning why I allow my son to have longish hair and wear whatever colors he wants. BECAUSE COLORS DONT HAVE GENDERS! Similarly, “Why did you buy him a doll? What is he supposed to do with that?” 🙄
a coworker told me last week, "oh look your face is getting fat!"
@monstera13 yes! he can wear whatever color he wants. we were team green last time and got several comments about how it must be a boy and we knew because we had things on the registry that were blue. like sheets with blue stars/moons and sleep clothes that were navy with white stars, bc girls can't wear blue????
TTC#1 10/2016 TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021 planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks, some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
I feel like I get less now. You can’t really tell I’m pregnant when I’m wearing my winter coat so I’m not getting random people talking to me about pregnancy. Instead they mostly comment on how well behaved my boys are. I used to get a lot of “wow, 3 boys, you have your hands full!” Which I thought was kind of rude to the quiet little children following me around.
Last time we went to a park an older couple stopped me to say how much they enjoyed seeing my kids because they had 3 boys similar spacing and it brought back memories.
My mom does send me articles or recommend books about how to conceive your preferred gender every time after we’ve announced a pregnancy. Which I’m like, yeah, I’ve heard those theories but also, kinda too late.
My midwife has things she’s always excited about and gives long winded speeches, and I’m usually not interested. Yes I know there are cool outreach programs in the schools for homeschool kids, no, this is very much not the time I want to add anything extra to my schedule.
The “best” I think I ever got was with my first. A random stranger saw my belly and told me that now I really needed to get serious about my self defense/survival plan because I would need to protect my child from the zombie apocalypse/alien invasion.
@bluecampanula that is some very interesting zombie/alien advice. At least that would make me laugh.
I know my mom is going to drive me nuts once the baby actually comes, but so far she just has given me a lot of outdated or inaccurate information. The thing that she talks to me most frequently about parenting right now is reminding me how I need to make sure I am ignoring the baby enough so they don't get spoiled and used to somebody responding when they are crying. So the baby learns to only cry if they really, really need something. It explains why my siblings and I are the way we are... haha.
@bluecampanula This made me laugh! I hope he had handouts lol
@dinomeetsjedi That whole school of thinking makes me so sad. Like a newborn has the ability to manipulate us. It’s been disproven so many times but it seems like it’s still so popular!
“Don’t you know what causes that?” is probably my favorite. 😐 If they didn’t say it in front of my kids I would have a snarky response but I don’t want to have to explain my snarky response to my kids, lol.
Every time my mom asks how I’m doing I answer “tired” because it’s accurate and she always says something along the lines of, “well, get used to it, because you’re going to be tired for years.” Thanks, mom.
I also really loved when my daughter was in the hospital under bili lights after birth for severe jaundice caused by hemolytic anemia and my MIL would comment EVERY DAY about how “when mine had jaundice they just told me to lay them out on the porch.” Like ok great. I’m glad your kids weren’t at risk for severe brain damage because of their bilirubin levels. Not the situation I’m in right now so please shut up, I would love NOTHING MORE than to take my baby home and sit with her on the porch.
What I really hate since finding out we’re having twins is how many people say “better you than me.” Like apparently so because I’m excited about having twins but keep your crappy attitude to yourself.
@hoosiermamajayden Wow, that last one was awful. Who says that? I think having twins would be so fun and exciting! Some people just feel the need to deflate your happiness balloon. They’re the worst. Maybe we should skip the private FB group and just all chip in and buy an island someplace.
I’ve also been getting a lot of, “Oh you’re having a boy— your husband must be so excited.” Um, well, we’re both excited…? And we’d both be equally as excited to be having a girl too. 🙄
I’ve also been getting, “Now you just need to make sure you have a girl next, so you can be done.” Like, no. We don’t need to do that. We can choose to create our family however we want.
@minnie_yoga_mama We get that a lot, too, although since we have a girl already it’s mostly the “I bet you hope it’s a boy so you can have one of each!” And stuff about how DH needs a soccer/hunting/surfing/etc buddy.
I really hate the gender comments from other people. Don't put your gender disappointment on me and my family!! We legitimately had zero preference if it was boy/girl. Would it have been fun to shop for adorable girl dresses, sure! But I'm also in love with the fact that DS5 gets a brother to roughhouse with. And honestly Pokémon, Dinosaurs, and video games are much more our style anyways!
Literally no one gives me advice on anything. Probably because at some point in the past they've tried and they've gotten a full lecture info dump in return I don't think I'd mind, though. I like explaining to people why they're wrong hahahaha
@doxiemoxie212 “I like explaining to people why they’re wrong” has me rolling. 100%
@aloha_mama a lot. Even my next door neighbor who knows we had two losses and have been wanting more kids. People mostly say it to my husband.
@minnie_yoga_mama yeah what is it with people and their weird nuclear family expectation of one mom, one dad, one son, and one daughter?? Like that’s the unspoken rule we’re all supposed to aim for. Then if you get two of the same it’s ok to try for a third but anything past three and you’re automatically an alien. But you get to skip ahead to alien if you get one of each and still go for a third anyway, because “don’t you know what causes that?”
I'm either ok with people making good hearted yet crazy recommendations like one lady would not let me sit on the floor because it would hurt the baby. I was like ok and stood up and sat on a chair while we were together. Then proceeded to do whatever I wanted once she left. Not worth arguing with a near stranger.
But even my in-laws know better than to tell me how to parent. I'll ask if I have questions or am interested in your opinion. And if you want to share your opinion unsolicited I will absolutely share mine. Now if I ask, even if I disagree I'll hear you out and say thanks for your opinion. I feel like as I hear these comments everyone I don't know which camp I'm in more but it's totally one or the other.
Luckily my family doesn't say much except my sister. Though we are all stubborn people so I think we all just know the other person doesn't want to hear it just like you don't want to lol. But my sister has been trying to have a second kid for years unsuccessfully so she's a bit neurotic about kids and thinks she's helping like when my "morning sickness" lasted 18 weeks she kept telling me things to do or eat and I was just like please let me just lay in a pile in quiet. Strangers like to tell me about feeding my son, all the time. "We had them eat this or that so he wouldn't have issues down the line" or "if you let them starve they will eventually eat what you offer". Turns out my son is like me if we don't want the food we won't eat it. We will wither away and become malnourished and sleep at the table during meals to avoid eating and things will get scary for the adults and they will eventually cave or have to get you a feeding tube. But yes, thank you for telling me to have him help cook the food so he'll want to eat it.
I don’t get many comments but I do often get “is he sleeping in his own bed yet?” like co-sleeping isnt a choice. We put our 2.5 year old to bed in his own bed now so we can enjoy a night to ourselves for a few hours but then bring him into our bed when we go in. And we like it! Who cares? my 5 year old did the same exact thing at that age … guess who’s asleep right now in his OWN bed for the whole night! Yea, I’m not ruining anyone forever by allowing co-sleeping, so stop asking.
Me: 36 DH: 36 Married: October 2011 DS: January 2016 DS: May 2019 #3: April 2022
@winterviolethope ok so now I remember people constantly asking me when she was sleeping through the night. Totally as polite banter and I was like 2 years in thinking, um never. So I NEVER ask parents that question. It's annoying and makes everyone feel bad especially FT parents and it's totally normal to not sleep through the night.
She is 5 and still finds her way to my bed in the night half the time and my husband and I are fine with it.
These comments made me sigh and laugh and sympathise. We put up with a lot, don't we?
I'm usually the kind of person to shut people down really quick when they give me unwanted advice but I have somehow been a bit more tolerant lately.
We're team green and the other day my grandma was trying to predict whether it'll be a boy or girl by thinking of the order children were born in my and DH's family. I told her that's not how it works and she spoke over me insisting it is. Ok grandma, whatever you think.
@rbflei oh my goodness yes. I hate the sleep question. Also, I realized at one point that people have different definitions of “through the night”.
On the other side I had someone complain to me recently about how their 1 month old *only* slept for 6 hours straight at night. And then followed up asking, “when did your babies start sleeping through the night?” No. Just stop.
I remember I used to always hear people reminiscing about how one baby is so easy. But, my opinion is that the first baby isn’t. Your first baby could be the easiest, chillest baby ever but most likely YOU are going through a huge adjustment and everything feels new, constantly. I don’t mean this to scare people, but just to be kind to yourself. I remember feeling like I was lacking grit or something and comments like that really added to that feeling.
So even when someone asks me for colic remedies for their happy, bubbly, super sleeper I try to be gentle. My 3rd was my demanding/colic baby, but even if his personality was more difficult than the others, I had far more confidence than with my first and was able to deal with it without feeling like it was all my fault. I wish THAT was what was passed on to new parents.
I can not stand all of the comments. For some reason they bother me even more when coming from family members. Also, people who do not have kids should NEVER weigh in. “We’ll when I’m a parent my kids will x and X” um, nope. No, they won’t. And byeeee.
Also when I was 39 weeks with DD in the same day some random man said “woahhh when are the twins due?” And then later that night I was having a calm thai dinner with my husband and Mom and some random lady stopped by my table and screamed “oh wow, still pregnant? You should really try nipple stimulation!”
Oh man some of these comments! I've been lucky not to get too many yet but +1 to the annoying team green comments. How many times have I heard "You look so beautiful! You're obviously having a boy!" and though he means well, the constant comments from my FIL about it being a girl (he has 3 grandchildren, all boys). I don't want to feel all this pressure to have a girl!
Also @Ivorytower2 ew to both of those comments. Like who are you and why does that make you think you can say that to a stranger?!
Wow, I can't believe some of these comments! I've mostly gotten a lot of "just wait, you'll never sleep again, etc" type of comments. One that really bothered me was about how my husband and I "failed social distancing" and that we're having a COVID baby. Like, we've been together for 9 years, have wanted a baby for a long time and made this baby out of love - not out of boredom from being stuck at home? Also, staying home and being around people you live with isn't exactly "failing social distancing"
I haven't gotten many unwelcome comments like these, other than maybe my husband's grandfather telling me I was getting fat at Christmas Eve, but he's kind of a grumpy old man and had called at least one other person at the party fat, so I didn't take it too personally.
Before I got pregnant, I would get annoyed at my BIL's occasional comments about when couples he knew got pregnant (as in the timing). For example, a couple we know got pregnant pretty much on the wedding night or honeymoon, and BIL commented to me, "I said congratulations, but I was really thinking, 'Man, that sucks!' You guys [as in me and MH] are doing the right thing by waiting a while after you got married." Like, how about don't comment on when other couples decide to get pregnant (or do so unintentionally)? That couple was ecstatic to be having a baby right away! Also, MH and I had been wanting a baby for a while at that point but were facing some obstacles to getting pregnant, so his comment that we were "doing the right thing" by not having a baby yet were really hurtful when I wanted a baby so bad!
Me: 30 // Hubs: 31 Married May 2019 Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
I loved the zombie apocalypse comment...that's gotta be the best/worst comment to get. The most unhelpful comments have been from my mom...which I knew would happen, and I'm trying not to let it get under my skin because I'm sure it will only get worse. When I was around 20 weeks my mom asked me when I was going to wear maternity clothes. And I was like...idk? When I get to the point I need to....? Why are you commenting on my clothes? My clothes all fit fine, and maternity clothes still don't fit right haha (even though I do have some now!). A couple weeks later she was in town visiting, and we were eating dinner and I said I was going to order the mac & cheese, and she said "aren't you supposed to be watching your carbs?" and I think I managed to say "uh....no...?" We also are living in a one bedroom apartment, and I told her I was getting a bassinet to have by our bed (and we aren't using a crib), and she insists that the baby will not sleep in our room. And it drives me nuts because I wasn't asking for her opinion, and she keeps bringing it up, even though I have told her yes, I may change my mind, but for now that is the plan. Last time she came over she even told me exactly where in our living room the baby was going to be sleeping (and that we would need a crib after two weeks so we needed to start looking into one). Ok thanks mom...wasn't asking, and I still haven't asked.
Luckily the family hasn't given us too many bad comments and hopefully they know not to give me parents advise unless I ask.
I have not put on a ton of weight and I'm 5ft8 so I'm not showing as much as other moms, which I'm a little self conscious about. The one comment I get everywhere is "you're so tiny" or "you can't even tell you're pregnant" (if I'm wearing a coat). These are actually a little hurtful.
Also, the "just relax" or "don't worry" comments from parents has been thrown at me all through our IVF journey and pregnancy. NOT a helpful comment if I'm stressing about something.
Mine are less with advice and more with the comments and exasperated looks.
“Is this your first?” No, it’s my 4th. [shocked look of horror] “you certainly have your hands full. Do you have boys & girls?” All boys right now. [Me: beaming with pride] [terrified look from the person] “WOW! You DO have your hands full! Is this one a boy too?” No. It’s our first girl. [sigh and smile of relief] “You finally got your girl. You must be so happy!”
….first of all, we did “try” for a girl with DS2. It didn’t work. We had another boy and were still over-the-moon. DS3 was a surprise. Still ecstatic! I love, love, love my boys and the chaos that comes with them! I will miss the chaos when it’s gone. And they love each other so much! Most of the time anyway. This little girl shocked the s$&@ out of us too. So no, we were not trying for a girl. I wanted one, yes. But I don’t have much say in the matter. We didn’t plan on 4 kids. After 2, what’s one more anyway?! Or 2 more?! 😆 I may be busy “with my hands full” but my heart is freaking overflowing.
Re: The (Un)Helpful Comments Thread
”You’re not actually going to have him pronounce his last name like that, are you? So the kids at school will have to say ‘hey, pass the ball to (______)?’ You’ll need to give him a really strong first name to make up for his last name.”
First of all, thanks for learning how to pronounce our last name up to this point dad. Second, we live in a very diverse, multicultural area where his peers will have a huge variety of names. I’m sure ours will not be the only one that sounds foreign!
For context, our French last name can be difficult to spell and pronounce for English-speakers. In fact, different members of hubby’s family even pronounce the name differently— my FIL pronounces it different from how my MIL pronounced it when she was married to him. When we got married we decided our family will stick with the traditional pronunciation used by thousands of families across France and Canada. Apparently, my dad (still living in the small minded small town we are from) thinks it’s too “feminine” and “foreign sounding” and prefers the “Americanized” version (aka the mispronounced version).
I feel like most of what annoys me is the totally outdated “advice” people give me about medical management. I had one coworker tell me I had to get rid of my cats now because they’re dangerous around babies. Uh, no. Also the “you need to give up coffee, tea, wine, exercise, etc” comments, or when people try to push food on me because I’m supposedly “eating for two” now. Oh, and the other day someone (not in anyway medically-affiliated) told me my MFM made a mistake and I needed to be on bed rest until I delivered so I should just go ahead and do that. But I think in the 6 years since we had DD we’ve done a good job building our village and making it clear to the in-laws that we don’t need or want their advice unless we ask for it, so the comments have gotten less and less as time goes by. Except the occasional stupid auntie in Target or whatever asking why DD isn’t wearing any socks or some variation of being a nosy ass.
An example…”Man, I am having a really hard time with my toddler sleeping through the night, I am so tired”. Reply-“Well, get ready because you will a have newborn soon and then you’ll know what being tired really is…”
really????
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@monstera13 yes! he can wear whatever color he wants. we were team green last time and got several comments about how it must be a boy and we knew because we had things on the registry that were blue. like sheets with blue stars/moons and sleep clothes that were navy with white stars, bc girls can't wear blue????
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
I know my mom is going to drive me nuts once the baby actually comes, but so far she just has given me a lot of outdated or inaccurate information. The thing that she talks to me most frequently about parenting right now is reminding me how I need to make sure I am ignoring the baby enough so they don't get spoiled and used to somebody responding when they are crying. So the baby learns to only cry if they really, really need something. It explains why my siblings and I are the way we are... haha.
@dinomeetsjedi That whole school of thinking makes me so sad. Like a newborn has the ability to manipulate us. It’s been disproven so many times but it seems like it’s still so popular!
I also really loved when my daughter was in the hospital under bili lights after birth for severe jaundice caused by hemolytic anemia and my MIL would comment EVERY DAY about how “when mine had jaundice they just told me to lay them out on the porch.” Like ok great. I’m glad your kids weren’t at risk for severe brain damage because of their bilirubin levels. Not the situation I’m in right now so please shut up, I would love NOTHING MORE than to take my baby home and sit with her on the porch.
I’ve also been getting, “Now you just need to make sure you have a girl next, so you can be done.” Like, no. We don’t need to do that. We can choose to create our family however we want.
@aloha_mama a lot. Even my next door neighbor who knows we had two losses and have been wanting more kids. People mostly say it to my husband.
I'm either ok with people making good hearted yet crazy recommendations like one lady would not let me sit on the floor because it would hurt the baby. I was like ok and stood up and sat on a chair while we were together. Then proceeded to do whatever I wanted once she left. Not worth arguing with a near stranger.
But even my in-laws know better than to tell me how to parent. I'll ask if I have questions or am interested in your opinion. And if you want to share your opinion unsolicited I will absolutely share mine. Now if I ask, even if I disagree I'll hear you out and say thanks for your opinion. I feel like as I hear these comments everyone I don't know which camp I'm in more but it's totally one or the other.
Strangers like to tell me about feeding my son, all the time. "We had them eat this or that so he wouldn't have issues down the line" or "if you let them starve they will eventually eat what you offer". Turns out my son is like me if we don't want the food we won't eat it. We will wither away and become malnourished and sleep at the table during meals to avoid eating and things will get scary for the adults and they will eventually cave or have to get you a feeding tube. But yes, thank you for telling me to have him help cook the food so he'll want to eat it.
like co-sleeping isnt a choice. We put our 2.5 year old to bed in his own bed now so we can enjoy a night to ourselves for a few hours but then bring him into our bed when we go in. And we like it! Who cares?
my 5 year old did the same exact thing at that age … guess who’s asleep right now in his OWN bed for the whole night! Yea, I’m not ruining anyone forever by allowing co-sleeping, so stop asking.
Married: October 2011
DS: January 2016
DS: May 2019
#3: April 2022
She is 5 and still finds her way to my bed in the night half the time and my husband and I are fine with it.
I'm usually the kind of person to shut people down really quick when they give me unwanted advice but I have somehow been a bit more tolerant lately.
We're team green and the other day my grandma was trying to predict whether it'll be a boy or girl by thinking of the order children were born in my and DH's family. I told her that's not how it works and she spoke over me insisting it is. Ok grandma, whatever you think.
Also when I was 39 weeks with DD in the same day some random man said “woahhh when are the twins due?” And then later that night I was having a calm thai dinner with my husband and Mom and some random lady stopped by my table and screamed “oh wow, still pregnant? You should really try nipple stimulation!”
I mean, just kill me. 🤦♀️
Also @Ivorytower2 ew to both of those comments. Like who are you and why does that make you think you can say that to a stranger?!
Married May 2019
Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
The most unhelpful comments have been from my mom...which I knew would happen, and I'm trying not to let it get under my skin because I'm sure it will only get worse.
When I was around 20 weeks my mom asked me when I was going to wear maternity clothes. And I was like...idk? When I get to the point I need to....? Why are you commenting on my clothes? My clothes all fit fine, and maternity clothes still don't fit right haha (even though I do have some now!).
A couple weeks later she was in town visiting, and we were eating dinner and I said I was going to order the mac & cheese, and she said "aren't you supposed to be watching your carbs?" and I think I managed to say "uh....no...?"
We also are living in a one bedroom apartment, and I told her I was getting a bassinet to have by our bed (and we aren't using a crib), and she insists that the baby will not sleep in our room. And it drives me nuts because I wasn't asking for her opinion, and she keeps bringing it up, even though I have told her yes, I may change my mind, but for now that is the plan. Last time she came over she even told me exactly where in our living room the baby was going to be sleeping (and that we would need a crib after two weeks so we needed to start looking into one). Ok thanks mom...wasn't asking, and I still haven't asked.
Luckily the family hasn't given us too many bad comments and hopefully they know not to give me parents advise unless I ask.
I have not put on a ton of weight and I'm 5ft8 so I'm not showing as much as other moms, which I'm a little self conscious about. The one comment I get everywhere is "you're so tiny" or "you can't even tell you're pregnant" (if I'm wearing a coat). These are actually a little hurtful.
Also, the "just relax" or "don't worry" comments from parents has been thrown at me all through our IVF journey and pregnancy. NOT a helpful comment if I'm stressing about something.