Put this out on my Facebook today, and figured I'd post it here too as a fun weekend activity:
Looking for some advice on what to put on our baby registry (I know it's early but starting some research) and could use some help!
1. Something you thoroughly researched and are proud to own/use.
2. A game changer.
3. Something someone got you that you didn't ask for, but couldn't imagine life without it now.
4. Something you got after the baby was born because you didn't expect to need it.
5. A necessity for mom.
6. A necessity for dad.
7. Something overrated.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often)
I don't know that I researched one thing more than another. Game changer for us was the hakaa. Nose Frida is something someone got me. I didn't want it because it was so strange to me but I'm glad I had it. I got the hakaa after my first because I had read so many good things. I wish I had it sooner. Mom-A water bottle that you will want to fill up, so many a super cute one. Dad- for us it was finding a bottle baby would take. I really wanted him to be able to feed baby. Overrated was the Mamaroo, for us anyway. My mom kept a jumper at her house.
Every time I needed to put baby down and not get hurt by his brothers, this thing was it. He also napped in it really well when I needed hands with the bigs and also didn’t want him at the other end of the house.
I didn’t like the boppy and did not have success with it breastfeeding with #1 or #2… but this one that I had with #3 was worth every single penny: https://snugglemeorganic.com/collections/support-pillow it fit around me better and didn’t feel bulky like the boppy. It also was easier to adjust for me.
Mini Crib instead of a bassinet or pack and play… we use a mini crib in our room until 6-8 months and then can put the baby in our room if we have guests up until 3. I also have a mini crib with my parents that we can use when we visit and they would be too big for a pack and play but there’s not really room for a full crib. I have one from Pottery Barn but any of them would work.
Ringsling. I’m terrible at wraps but I can do the sling with no problem and it is the easiest and fastest way for me to have two hands.
5. A necessity for mom. Aquascale 3-in-1 bathtub which is a tub with a scale feature. In the early days I was paranoid with how much milk he was getting per feed, and this allowed me to do weighted feeds at home. It was such a great tool for my mental health, it gave me such peace of mind. It’s also just a great tub.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often) They don’t help, but the Lotus travel crib. Basically a spot for them to safely sleep or contain them when visiting.
I've been thinking about this a lot for the past day, and I can't say there's much in the way of gear that was particularly needed. We're pretty minimalist anyway, though. Here's my experience:
1. Something you thoroughly researched and are proud to own/use.
Stroller/travel system. We have the Britax B-safe/agile 3 wheel stroller and love it. It's the perfect balance between being super high quality but not at a ridiculous price point. A 3 wheel stroller is key for navigating with one hand, but we didn't need a fancy jogging stroller because we never planned to jog or off-road it with a stroller I'm replacing the carseat because the old one expired, but if I were a FTM today I would definitely buy the current version of this same travel system.
2. A game changer.
The twin bed in the baby's room. This allowed babies to sleep in their own crib from day one and we never had to deal with a transition. That was excellent. It also let me stay in the room with baby for the first 4 months and get up for all the night wakings so my husband could sleep. I EBF and we figured out right away that there was no point in both of us being zombies. So I did all the night feeding, he got a mostly normal night's sleep, and then he could be a person during the day and I could take naps. This was especially helpful when #2 was an infant because #1 was such a morning person and needed lots of attention between 6 and 8 am, and MH was there for it.
3. Something someone got you that you didn't ask for, but couldn't imagine life without it now.
The infant mirror for the rear facing carseat that lights up and plays music. 💯 Also, this wasn't a necessity, but someone made us this tiny textured blanket, about the size of a washcloth, and #2 loved to lay on it and fall asleep on it.
4. Something you got after the baby was born because you didn't expect to need it.
I don't think there was anything like this. We had the bathtub, pack and play, monitors, wrap carrier, and activity play mat - all of which we really used.
5. A necessity for mom.
Lanolin.
6. A necessity for dad.
Earplugs (see 2. above)
7. Something overrated.
All the swings and bouncers. They are ginormous, and we never had any of them or felt like we needed one. Related to @leahrnmom we were also gifted the Nose Frida, and it is still unopened after two kids. I guess I'll keep it around for one more as a good luck charm.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often)
Baby gates. They have an open floor plan and a dog. My babies/toddlers couldn't even go there if they didn't have gates.
To the moms who weren’t a big fan of the Nose Frida, what are your thoughts on something more similar to this? The idea of a nose frida grosses me out (despite hearing many moms swear by them) and those old fashioned tube things don’t seem super effective. I want to have something on hand and I’d rather get this than the others, even if I don’t end up using it much. Was your reason for not liking the idea of the nose Frida, you having to supply the suction or something else?😅 Some baby products aren’t for all of us. Lol
@meagan822 I never sucked boogers out of my babies' noses. Our first pediatrician with #1 said we didn't need to/shouldn't. They both got plenty of colds, and had plenty of stuffed up noses. We just wiped them and used a cool mist humidifier and baby vapo rub for sleeping. When they were over 6 months old if they were really miserable I gave ibuprofen because that's what I take when I have a cold, and that seemed to ease the inflammation in their sinuses and make them feel better. It never got to the point where I felt like I wanted to try manually removing the boogers. 🤷♀️
Question Could first movements feel more like a couple seconds of gentle pressure? Like BabyG is stretching and just pushing ever so slightly? I’ve been feeling this like 1-2 times a day and I’m curious if it’s her?!
@wigglyicecream yes like when you feel baby’s arm brush along the inside of your stomach and you can just feel that’s what it is. That’s almost it but just significantly more gentle and shorter duration.
@paytonpedro yep. I haven’t felt baby in a few days. I have anterior placenta this time but the couple times I have, it’s been twitching feeling or pressure.
How important / necessary is a infant seat / carrier seat / travel system / whatever they’re called, versus a one-time purchase of a convertible? I know we will need two seats (or I guess bases, if we have a carrier style) and that will be the case for the next however long our hobbit-child will be in seats (based on the height genes we got, they’ll probably be 15 or so 😂) so part of me is like just buy the 4 in 1 style that will last forever, but the other part of me is like “carrier seat = not disturbing sleepy baby after a car ride = good choices”.
@mangoandguava if you think you can survive without it, go for it. BUT, fwiw, I would always recommend an infant seat. They sleep so much in the early months and to me, I don’t think I would feel safe sticking a 7 pound baby in a convertible seat. Like they don’t fit right to me. I always moved mine around 9-12 months because before that they just feel too much. To me, it’s worth the money for the infant seat. I don’t think you need a stroller system. It’s nice to have but you can get something inexpensive and it’ll do the job.
@mangoandguava with ds1 we had an infant car seat and with ds2 we put him right in a convertible and skipped the infant seat all together. Personally, I preferred the convertible right off the bat than the infant seat. It got heavy quickly because my babies were already 8+ lbs at birth. We moved ds1 into a convertible seat around 6 months old.
This baby, my sister gave me her infant seat so I’ll use that for a bit just because we already have it, but I’m not entirely sure of the logistics of it in our truck.
@mangoandguava It might depend on how much you drive and the weather where you live, but we really liked having the infant bucket for the first two kids and are getting one again for #3.
- We liked that it was also the stroller. (We got a system where the bucket clicked into an actual stroller, so that when they outgrew the bucket they still used the stroller)
- It has a handle. Yes it is heavy and awkward, but sometimes it's easier to carry the baby on your arm with grocery bags than separate as a baby.
- It's warm and cozy. You don't have to load and unload tiny baby into the car in the snow.
- This wasn't a consideration for us because we only have one car, but if you have two cars you only need to buy two bases as opposed to two separate carseats. The bucket stays with the baby.
Once #1 became too heavy to reasonably carry around in a bucket (around 8 months?) we bought him a convertible carseat. Those last 10 years. #2 is still sitting in it at almost for years old (and 30 pounds 😭😭 - he will never not need a 5 point harness)
@paytonpedro I've definitely felt a gentle pressure that feels like a baby pressing an arm or leg against me (just not as intense as in later weeks). It honestly surprises me how early I'm noticing movement this time around!
I don’t use the bucket seat much past month two. I bought my seat with DS1 and it doesn’t expire until 2023? because at the time it had a bunch of extra stuff on it? Tbh, MH is more likely to carry the bucket around than I am… I just scoop the baby into the ring sling and go. Also, I’ll be the outlier and say that my kids do not sleep in the bucket seat outside of the car. Positioning is key and when the seat is not in the base, it can cause problems. It’s just not a risk I’m personally willing to take, but others are fine with it. I don’t like how bulky the seat is and no matter how light ((I think mine is like 7 lbs)) 7 lbs plus baby is a lot and they are awkward. There’s just no good way to carry it around. I will say that since my last two have been less than 7 lbs, I was glad to have the bucket because it’s a little easier to buckle them into. Also, in our case, the convertible seat fits better than the bucket seat. 😝
@mdfarmchick I probably made that sound like I let my kids sleep in the bucket seat outside the car. That’s not what I meant. I just meant if I was dropping kids off at school and had to go in, I prefer to put the car seat in a stroller than take them out and get them into a carrier, etc. Also I know a lady who’s husband dropped their newborn on concrete because they were transferring her outside, it just scares me.
But I would 1000% never let my baby sleep in the car seat without being in the car (or a quick in and out at drop off/pickup)
Re: Bucketseat. We did the bucketseat with DS pretty much up until he grew out of it. It was mostly out of convenience since we knew we'd need to buy two convertibles and the ones we wanted were super expensive. This time around, we may do the bucket for awhile, but since we have the convertibles and are looking into upgrading DS's carseat, we may decide to move baby into the convertible sooner.
@and_peggy I definitely wasn’t calling anyone out 😊 It’s just something I don’t think everyone thinks of and also, you might not realize as a FTM. That is so scary that they dropped their newborn outside. 😢
@buffythevampireslayer no, but you shouldn't hand out invitations at school, then. If you're inviting all but 1 or 2 kids, ask yourself why. As the teacher, this can be so frustrating to handle calls and emails from irate parents. As the kid who was often excluded, it really sucked.
@buffythevampireslayer I agree with @bridgiebee82 and I would like to add my own opinion. I would just invite the whole class unless there was a sever reason like bullying from a classmate
Im team not invite the whole class but don’t pass out invitations at school. My daughter is in kinder and her birthday is in May. I don’t think I want to invite 15 kids, I’ll probably email the few friends she wants. Maybe 5 of them.
Thank you all! And yes, fully agree that handing out invites in class and not including everyone would be messed up. It’s definitely also not allowed at our school. For Valentine’s Day if you wanted to participate all kids had to make cards for everyone which is definitely how it should be, though my daughter did sneak an extra love note to school for some random kid.
@mangoandguava you got a lot of good feedback. For our first two we got the infant carrier/travel system. I liked the convenience of being able to click them into the stroller if they were sleeping while we shopped or ate. (I felt comfortable letting them sleep since I’d be paying attention but didn’t let them sleep in the car seat at home) After they grew out of those we got them the 4evers (convertibles).
For baby #3 we’re going to invest in a Doona, strictly for space. I want to throw up thinking about spending $600 on a car seat, but I think it’ll be very beneficial. Carrying around 2 kids and sometimes a dog we won’t have space to store an extra stroller and I don’t prefer to baby ware in public.
@buffythevampireslayer if the kids are young, I’d say invite the entire class, IF passing out the invites at school. Since they’re young I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and @bridgiebee82 made a good point about potential issues with parents. DD is going to private school for PreK and the handbook actually states if invitations are issued at school the student is required to invite the entire class, which I thought was interesting to make a rule about it.
@buffythevampireslayer Most schools around here don't even let you bring invitations to school unless you're inviting the whole class or all of one gender. I'm okay with only inviting some kids that my kids already plays with so I already have addresses/phone numbers if it's like a small sleepover or adventure with 4-5 kids, but if it's going to be a party party I would want to invite the whole class so no one's feelings are hurt. They won't all come.
Honestly I’m a little surprised about the variety of feedback! Although I guess that’s dumb since something that works wonders for one family won’t be the right choice for another. I was kind of expecting a unanimous “yes, you noob, get the carrier seat”, but … said nicer? 😂 At any rate I really appreciate it all because it definitely helps to see real people’s perspectives as opposed to random blogs and stuff.
@dimeadozen my sister has a Doona and she was telling me how much she loved it last night!
I have no useful feedback re: birthday parties. We were homeschooled until I was in 11th grade, so whenever we had any kind of party, everyone in our “class” was automatically invited. 🙃 I will say that from the kid perspective I think it’s fine to invite friends only, though, and I definitely think that means not handing out invites at school.
@mangoandguava I actually really appreciated the various perspectives as a soon to be STM as well! I've thought about car seats a bit but this covo really made me question what I want to do this time around.
@mangoandguava I will say that my #1 love about the bucket seat was how it clicked into a stroller. I strolled babies in there way more often than carried the bucket, and I brought the stroller everywhere. Even if the place has stairs, the stroller folded up in one step so I could carry stroller in one hand and bucket in the other up the stairs. (Diaper bag was a backpack, which I also strongly, strongly recommend.)
@wisewitch222 yes!! I was actually just thinking about that. I love how convenient clicking a bucket seat into a stroller is! I'd probably use a bucket seat at first just for that feature.
I can't offer advice since I'm a FTM, but I'm leaning towards a travel system right now. What are everyone's thoughts on 3 wheels (like the Britax) or 4 wheels (like the Graco)? I've read that Britax is lighter weight. I also keep coming back to the Mockingbird, but it doesn't include the car seat, but is compatible with multiple different car seats. Do we have a product thread for strollers yet, or am I asking in the right place?
@fromfurmomtobabymom8-2 Three wheels ALL DAY! You can't push a four wheel stroller with one hand. The Britix B Agile turns on a dime, it's amazing. If you're going to off road it, may be better to invest in a jogging stroller, but if you're just going to be on paved surfaces and inside buildings, the Britiax is great. Ours is 7 years old and pretty beat up but definitely still works. We're replacing the expired bucket but not the stroller. It is also very light. I'm guessing the current generation is even better than ours.
@fromfurmomtobabymom8-2 I have had 3 wheel jogger strollers and personally I think I prefer 4 wheels. I think it really depends what kind of activities you plan on doing with the stroller. Also I’m shorter (5’4) and can rest my arm on the stroller and therefore push it with one “hand”. But I could see how a woman taller maybe wouldn’t be able to do that without bending quite a bit.
Also, modular strollers are the way to go IMO. They usually have the seats that you can reposition in multiple different ways including facing you or facing the direction you’re going. In my experience they also fold down way more which makes it nice for if/when baby falls asleep in the stroller.
I have no experience with mockingbird but they are pretty pricey. 😬😬 Their double looks cool though!
@paytonpedro and @wisewitch222 great feedback! I think I keep taking the mockingbird off the list because of the price and the fact that it doesn't come with a car seat, but I'm drawn to it visually, which is totally not the leading driver in this decision. But the 3 wheel and 4 wheel decision, along with weight, and foldability will be the decision makers, so I think I just need to get to a store and try them out. Both me and my husband are average heights, so I don't think we will have any concerns with adjustable bars or anything height related. I think my other hang up on this is that I want his opinion on this too, but he's been too focused on finishing our basement to give input on anything baby related at this point.
@fromfurmomtobabymom8-2 I also strongly recommend trying in a store. We bought ours back in the bad old days of Babies R Us, and this time around I don' tneed a stroller, but I am planning a trip to the nearest Buy Buy Baby an hour away for the few worn out gear things that we do need to replace.
@fromfurmomtobabymom8-2 yes definitely agree to try them out in the store! We didn’t try out our first one because it was on a rack in target, inaccessible but set up for you could see it. I wish we could have given it a push around.
Re: Ask a STM+ Mom
Looking for some advice on what to put on our baby registry (I know it's early but starting some research) and could use some help!
1. Something you thoroughly researched and are proud to own/use.
2. A game changer.
3. Something someone got you that you didn't ask for, but couldn't imagine life without it now.
4. Something you got after the baby was born because you didn't expect to need it.
5. A necessity for mom.
6. A necessity for dad.
7. Something overrated.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often)
I don't know that I researched one thing more than another. Game changer for us was the hakaa. Nose Frida is something someone got me. I didn't want it because it was so strange to me but I'm glad I had it. I got the hakaa after my first because I had read so many good things. I wish I had it sooner. Mom-A water bottle that you will want to fill up, so many a super cute one. Dad- for us it was finding a bottle baby would take. I really wanted him to be able to feed baby. Overrated was the Mamaroo, for us anyway. My mom kept a jumper at her house.
This thing. https://snugglemeorganic.com/collections/loungers
it fit around me better and didn’t feel bulky like the boppy. It also was easier to adjust for me.
I was gifted it at my baby shower and it is amazing. It will take my kids from a red, raw looking butt to almost normal with one application.
I use it as diaper rash cream, for the drool rashes, for the dry skin… it’s good for just about anything. Also, I used it on me for pumping.
I mostly set baby down in the snuggle me or on a blanket. We don’t do much with all the baby contraptions. I do have an exersaucer like this for when they want to be on the go and I need 10-15 minutes to do laundry or whatever. But most baby things like that are only supposed to be used for max 15 minutes a day. I’ll let you do your own reading about that. https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Explore-3-Stage-Activity/dp/B01J94K9OY/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=1F5J8AHU1NITA&keywords=skip+hop+exersaucer&qid=1644698882&sprefix=skiphop+ex%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-3
5. A necessity for mom. Aquascale 3-in-1 bathtub which is a tub with a scale feature. In the early days I was paranoid with how much milk he was getting per feed, and this allowed me to do weighted feeds at home. It was such a great tool for my mental health, it gave me such peace of mind. It’s also just a great tub.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often) They don’t help, but the Lotus travel crib. Basically a spot for them to safely sleep or contain them when visiting.
1. Something you thoroughly researched and are proud to own/use.
Stroller/travel system. We have the Britax B-safe/agile 3 wheel stroller and love it. It's the perfect balance between being super high quality but not at a ridiculous price point. A 3 wheel stroller is key for navigating with one hand, but we didn't need a fancy jogging stroller because we never planned to jog or off-road it with a stroller
I'm replacing the carseat because the old one expired, but if I were a FTM today I would definitely buy the current version of this same travel system.
2. A game changer.
The twin bed in the baby's room. This allowed babies to sleep in their own crib from day one and we never had to deal with a transition. That was excellent. It also let me stay in the room with baby for the first 4 months and get up for all the night wakings so my husband could sleep. I EBF and we figured out right away that there was no point in both of us being zombies. So I did all the night feeding, he got a mostly normal night's sleep, and then he could be a person during the day and I could take naps. This was especially helpful when #2 was an infant because #1 was such a morning person and needed lots of attention between 6 and 8 am, and MH was there for it.
3. Something someone got you that you didn't ask for, but couldn't imagine life without it now.
The infant mirror for the rear facing carseat that lights up and plays music. 💯 Also, this wasn't a necessity, but someone made us this tiny textured blanket, about the size of a washcloth, and #2 loved to lay on it and fall asleep on it.
4. Something you got after the baby was born because you didn't expect to need it.
I don't think there was anything like this. We had the bathtub, pack and play, monitors, wrap carrier, and activity play mat - all of which we really used.
5. A necessity for mom.
Lanolin.
6. A necessity for dad.
Earplugs (see 2. above)
7. Something overrated.
All the swings and bouncers. They are ginormous, and we never had any of them or felt like we needed one. Related to @leahrnmom we were also gifted the Nose Frida, and it is still unopened after two kids. I guess I'll keep it around for one more as a good luck charm.
8. Something your parents keep at their house (if they live close and help out often)
Baby gates. They have an open floor plan and a dog. My babies/toddlers couldn't even go there if they didn't have gates.
Could first movements feel more like a couple seconds of gentle pressure? Like BabyG is stretching and just pushing ever so slightly? I’ve been feeling this like 1-2 times a day and I’m curious if it’s her?!
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
- We liked that it was also the stroller. (We got a system where the bucket clicked into an actual stroller, so that when they outgrew the bucket they still used the stroller)
- It has a handle. Yes it is heavy and awkward, but sometimes it's easier to carry the baby on your arm with grocery bags than separate as a baby.
- It's warm and cozy. You don't have to load and unload tiny baby into the car in the snow.
- This wasn't a consideration for us because we only have one car, but if you have two cars you only need to buy two bases as opposed to two separate carseats. The bucket stays with the baby.
Once #1 became too heavy to reasonably carry around in a bucket (around 8 months?) we bought him a convertible carseat. Those last 10 years. #2 is still sitting in it at almost for years old (and 30 pounds 😭😭 - he will never not need a 5 point harness)
Definitely worth the money in my experience.
But I would 1000% never let my baby sleep in the car seat without being in the car (or a quick in and out at drop off/pickup)
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
I have no useful feedback re: birthday parties. We were homeschooled until I was in 11th grade, so whenever we had any kind of party, everyone in our “class” was automatically invited. 🙃 I will say that from the kid perspective I think it’s fine to invite friends only, though, and I definitely think that means not handing out invites at school.
(edited because I posted before I finished)
What are everyone's thoughts on 3 wheels (like the Britax) or 4 wheels (like the Graco)?
I've read that Britax is lighter weight. I also keep coming back to the Mockingbird, but it doesn't include the car seat, but is compatible with multiple different car seats. Do we have a product thread for strollers yet, or am I asking in the right place?
I think I keep taking the mockingbird off the list because of the price and the fact that it doesn't come with a car seat, but I'm drawn to it visually, which is totally not the leading driver in this decision. But the 3 wheel and 4 wheel decision, along with weight, and foldability will be the decision makers, so I think I just need to get to a store and try them out. Both me and my husband are average heights, so I don't think we will have any concerns with adjustable bars or anything height related. I think my other hang up on this is that I want his opinion on this too, but he's been too focused on finishing our basement to give input on anything baby related at this point.