***TW: Blighted Ovum***

becks105

Wondering if anyone could share their experience here. I’m not sure I’m even allowed to post this since it looks like I’ll be leaving you all soon. 

I just got back from my 8 week ultrasound, where there was just an empty gestational sac, no fetal heart rate. My OB said it would make sense for a 4 week gestation, but not 8. I go back in two days for some repeat labs, and another ultrasound in 10 days. But I’m 100% certain on my dates bc I had been tracking and testing ovulation and everything. I had gotten my first positive at like 3.5 weeks. 

I don’t even know what questions to ask bc I’m in such shock to be honest. Is it bad that I just want this over and done? Instead of having to wait and agonize? And continue to feel symptoms and cling to any glimmer of hope? What’s less traumatic, taking the medicine to miscarry at home? Or doing a D&C? I am just so heartbroken right now that I don’t know how to function for my husband and daughter. 

leahrnmom

@becks105 I don't have any experience here but I am truly so sorry. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 

and_peggy

@becks105 I am just heartbroken for you. I know the pain of this. I’ll share my experience and offer my advice.

In august, I went in for 8 week scan and there was nothing. No baby, just a sac. Like you, I was 100% sure of my dates. I was devastated. My hcgs were normal and climbing. And I went I back a week later, the situation was not different. The sac was bigger but there was no baby.

At that point, my options were: wait to miscarry naturally, misoprostal, d&c. I was not comfortable with intervening so I waited for 3 more weeks to miscarry on my own. It never happened. I ended up taking the misoprostal and nothing happened. I was forced to have a d&c at 12.5 weeks. It was hard that my body would not do anything on its own.

The process of the d&c was fine but I had a lot of complications following. I believe that because I waited so long, it made it much harder than it would have been a month before. I ended up at the ER with softball sized blood clots and narrowly missed needing a transfusion.

So, if I were in that boat again, I’d wait for one more scan, just to be confident and then I’d have a d&c. Your body will continue to act pregnant and you’ll still feel as if you are, which makes it worse. It’s a personal choice, and I’m sorry that this has to be mentioned but the d&c was relatively expensive. It was a terrible blow to an already hard situation. Between the d&c and the ER visit post d&c, I spent $4000. It was such a blow.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and having to make this decision, especially right now. Know that you’re not alone. You will get through this. Give yourself time to process and grieve.

daffodil_shoe

I don’t have any advice, my only miscarriage I lost on my own, no intervention needed. But I just want to say that I am so sorry 💞

coco2787

I’m so sorry to see this news. Sending you hugs, I’ve been there and it’s devastating. As far as what you want to do, it’s very much a personal decision but I chose to do a D&C after both of my MMC. I wanted it over with and in many cases, a person ends up needing one anyway because the pills aren’t always enough. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about misoprostol and didn’t want to feel physical pain on top of the emotional pain. In my case, we saw a fetal pole both times but it had stopped developing and my body has already been holding on for weeks without recognizing the loss, so waiting to miscarry naturally wasn’t something I wanted to do either. The D&C was relatively painless physically and recovery was pretty mild, just some cramping and period like bleeding afterwards. 

bearmomma1

@becks105 I don't have any experience or advice, but I'm so sorry and am thinking of you

wisewitch222

I'm so sorry, @becks105

ambelance

I don't have any advice but I'm so sorry @becks105

darkrose88

@becks105 I'm heartbroken for you. All of my MCs occurred naturally, so I can't tell you which option is best, but I can't blame you for wanting this to be over with. The waiting is always the hardest part and 10 days seems like agonizing long time.   

lmaplejc

@becks105 Oh no, I’m so very sorry.  Thinking of you.

starkette

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Waiting 10 days must feel like an eternity. My heart breaks for you. Sending all my love and hope for an outcome that will bring you peace.

returning_bump_member

Oh @becks105 I'm so sorry to read this. Sending big hugs. ❤

When I had my MMC on 8/3 I chose to get a D&C as soon as I could because I wanted to begin healing emotionally and physically. The procedure was pretty easy, I went to sleep in the OR, woke up 3 hours later and had only spotting until I had light bleeding 2 weeks later for a week.

anniemarie887

@becks105 I’m so sorry. I’ve personally not needed a d&c, but have a best friend who has opted that twice and has no regrets. Went on to have another successful pregnancy after 3 back to back losses. 

malloryfrommn

@becks105 I am so sorry! What a devastating blow. I've experienced an early loss before and it's heartbreaking. Be gentle with yourself in the coming days and weeks, and know that there was nothing you could have done differently. Sending you the BIGGEST hug.

knottie3d6865d1c4779c8b

I had a blighted ovum for my first pregnancy back in August. I started spotting at 6 weeks and went in for an early ultrasound and they said my dates could have been off, but there was no fetal pole. They had me go for two HCG quants 48 hours apart and the numbers were falling. The OB gave me the same options and I chose to wait it out. I then booked an appointment with my acupuncturist and she gave me a treatment specifically to help me pass everything and I miscarried painlessly later that same night. I am currently pregnant again and really hoping it’s viable. I’m so sorry you are going through this, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I feel for you. 🖤

becks105

Elderly, gals, it seems my time with you all is done. It has been a pretty traumatic week. 

After the first hcg, my doctor suspected a molar pregnancy because the hcg was so high compared to what it should look like for a miscarriage. But, the ultrasound didn’t seem consistent with that, so it was a puzzle. 

When I went in Thursday for a repeat draw, I wasn’t able to get the results back until yesterday due to the holidays. I got a call last night at 8pm telling me the hcg was abnormal and still consistent with a molar pregnancy… but also that they found a rare pathogen in my urine that they said is typically only found in cancer patients. The physician assistant on the phone said that I needed to come in urgently today so they could refer me to an infectious disease doctor and an oncologist. All at 8pm. As you can imagine, I did not sleep well last night. 

When I went in today, they did an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy was nonviable. The doctor then explained that yes, the pathogen was present in my urine, but in a small dose, and that we can treat it with a round of medication, and that they only want to refer me to an infectious disease doctor because they’ve never seen this before, and they want someone in that specialty to just clear me as a precaution.  After looking at some blood work I had done in September, she said while she of course cannot say 100%, but she does not believe I have cancer in her expert opinion. She said in the notes the ID doctor MAY refer me to an oncologist, but ultimately said we shouldn’t be overly concerned. 

Nonetheless… my D&C is scheduled for Tuesday the 4th at 11am. They recommended the D&C because apparently the structures I do have are very large, and there’s lots of vascular tissue, so they 1. Don’t think I can pass it all on my own, and 2. Worry about the amount of bleeding I’d have to manage at home. As sad as I am that this pregnancy is over, I have some peace that after a week of back and forth, we have a firm answer.

I really enjoyed getting to know you all, thank you all for connecting with me, and wish you all lots of healthy babies! Best of luck with everything ❤️

starkette

@becks105 wow, what a rollercoaster of emotion you must have gone through and continue to go through. I'm so sorry! I sounds incredibly traumatic. Sending hugs and all my love for you. Rest and recuperate. There is no timeframe for grief.  

coco2787

Thank you for coming back to update, I’ve been wondering how you were doing 💜

That all sounds so traumatic, I’m so sorry you had to experience all that, especially because I know you were already struggling with anxiety 😥 I hope the D&C and recovery goes smoothly and you can give yourself time to heal and rest emotionally and physically. 

bearmomma1

@becks105 wow what an insane week you’ve had. I’m so sorry about your pregnancy but happy that they don’t think you have cancer. I hope your recovery goes smoothly and that you can take it easy. Take care of yourself 

anniemarie887

@becks105 I’m so sorry. That’s just, a lot. Sending you lots of love. 

buffythevampireslayer

@becks105 I am so sorry and am thinking about you. That sounds so scary. I hope everything goes as easily as possible and wishing you lots of rest and recovery.

daffodil_shoe

Oh @becks105 I am so sorry for this rollercoaster you’ve been put on. What a scary thing to hear on top of an already sad experience. Wishing you healing and good health 💜

maggiemadeit

@becks105 I am so sorry for how very much you’ve been through. I hope that the D&C and recovery go smoothly, and that you get the best possible answers from the ID doc. Thinking of you and wishing you healing and peace. Take good care ❤️

paytonpedro

@becks105 I am so sorry you’re having to go through this. I’ve been thinking of you, and I hope everything goes smoothly. Take care of yourself. ❤️

and_peggy

@becks105 I am so sorry you’re going through this. Will absolutely be keeping you in prayer for all
the unknowns. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now but I’m glad your dr is being proactive in treating you. Be kind to yourself.

darkrose88

@becks105 first off, I'm so sorry for the loss and for that emotional rollercoaster you went through. I really hope that you get good news back from the specialist and that you'll be able to join another BMB board soon. Take care of yourself. ❤

geshem

@becks105 I'm so sorry you had such a difficult experience. I hope your recovery goes well and you get good news from the ID Dr!

chellelin-34

@becks105 I’m so sorry. I had a bo in 2015. It’s heartbreaking. I opted for the meds. I don’t like being put under. I think it’s hard either way tho. The meds took about a day to work for me.