Ok I guess I’ll go first. (For newbies- this is a confession thread, not guaranteed to be flame free!)
I have a Christmas party tonight with some old coworkers and I just ducked out last minute because my babysitter fell through, which isn’t a lie. I’m not super sad about it though. I’m tired and just want to go to bed early (it’s not even noon 😅). 🤷🏼♀️
Party pooper over here too. FFFC: My brother’s new long distance gf is in town, and I’m supposed to meet her for the first time on Sunday. I feel like crap, and I am reallllllly not looking forward to putting on a cheerful face to give a good first impression.
I have plans all weekend and I've been in bed since 3 with awful hip pain and now nausea setting in. But it's a friend visiting from out there f state we only see like twice a year so I can't cancel.
My family arrived last night. My mom is a...difficult person. From the moment she arrived, she's almost totally silent and having experienced this growing up I was try to think of why she'd be mad (why can't she just communicate like an adult?!) so I ask if she's hungry and she says, all huffy, "Yes I'm hungry!" oh...okay, would you like snacks or I can make a quick dinner? (They arrived at 7pm and she didn't say anything about expecting dinner to be ready for them and since they are early eaters I assumed they'd grab food on the road.) And she just shrugs non-commitally so I just make a charcuterie board and instantly her mood brightens.
The whole time I'm texting MH (he was on the other side of the room chatting with my dad, whose a jovial guy) commiserating about her childish behavior. He's good to vent to because he gets annoyed with my mom, too.
Anyways, it's always like that with her. Trying to interpret her moods and needs because she does not communicate and expects people to just KNOW. It's incredibly frustrating.
@starkette omg you are a saint, I could never. My dad has always been difficult (in a different way) as long as I can remember. Finally when I was about 25, I started calling him out on his behavior. I would say “I’m an adult, don’t talk to me like that” or “You need to calm down, there’s no reason to be that upset over this.” I once was on the phone and he was being ridiculous so I said “Are you done?” He said “no.” So I said “Ok well then I’m hanging up.” It’s really improved our relationship. He just needed his $hit called out.
@starkette and @daffodil_shoe I have really difficult parents too. (Unfortunately for me, calling out my dad didn't work.) The best thing I did was move back to my home town because that means I NEVER have to stay with them ever again. Holidays used to be so stressful and horrible, but now we can just leave!
Have you ever addressed her behavior? Maybe tell her it’s been excepted in the past, but now that you’re an adult you expect her to converse appropriately and relay her feelings versus you worrying about all the possible issues she might be having.
I know some attitudes can’t change, so I understand if that wouldn’t work at all!
@daffodil_shoe I’m glad the open conversation worked for your relationship, and I bet it felt nice to open that dialog 😏
@dimeadozen I call it out way too often. My sister became the stressed out one who shrinks around my mom and I became the confrontational one. I try to be as pleasant as possible but there are so many times I just call it out. I hate backing down when someone is being purposefully rude. And I hate childish selfish behavior from adults. But when they are here for a handful of days and it's a holiday, I do my best to shake it off and ignore it. Luckily my parents and sister live two states away.
Re: FFFC 12/17
I have a Christmas party tonight with some old coworkers and I just ducked out last minute because my babysitter fell through, which isn’t a lie. I’m not super sad about it though. I’m tired and just want to go to bed early (it’s not even noon 😅). 🤷🏼♀️
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
The whole time I'm texting MH (he was on the other side of the room chatting with my dad, whose a jovial guy) commiserating about her childish behavior. He's good to vent to because he gets annoyed with my mom, too.
Anyways, it's always like that with her. Trying to interpret her moods and needs because she does not communicate and expects people to just KNOW. It's incredibly frustrating.
@daffodil_shoe I’m glad the open conversation worked for your relationship, and I bet it felt nice to open that dialog 😏