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March 2022 Moms
Panaceia
member
The (Un)Helpful Comments Thread
Panaceia
member
Family members, in-laws, friends, strangers, everyone has an opinion when you're pregnant! Let's hear some of the (un)helpful advice / comments / tips that you've been receiving these days!
Re: The (Un)Helpful Comments Thread
Let’s see, some things I’ve heard over the course of my pregnancy so far:
‘Don’t post those pictures, people will just think you look fat, not pregnant.’ (First Trimester)
‘If you think you’re tired now, I don’t know how you expect to handle two.’ (Or variants thereof)
‘You can’t let yourself feel _____ because _____.’ (Right, let me just turn off those emotions real quick for you.)
‘I don’t know why you’re so upset THIS time, you weren’t this emotional with your son.’
‘That vaccine will ruin yours and your baby’s immune system. You’re poisoning yourself and your child.’
‘I don’t understand why you’re like this. You’re being unreasonable, we just want to see you.’ (After antivaxx relatives had been on a 2 week trip through several US states and I refused to let them visit the day after they returned.)
‘You’re so lucky because ____.’
‘You have it easy because back in my day _____.’
”Now you can be done.” (Since we’ll have one of each)
“ The first one is easy, the second one will be a monster.”
“Didn’t you JUST get back from maternity leave?” (Kids will be 20 months apart)
”you’re looking pretty big for 14 weeks, I didn’t show until 6 months along.. but when I had kids I was young and muscular so it’s hard to compare” - my MIL
Also, comments from my MIL how she had sooooo much energy when she was pregnant she was hanging out windows to wash them. Congratu-friggin-lations lady. I'm allowed to be tired. This is my 4th baby in just about as many years. I am working 3rd shift and at home with a 3 year old who recently decided naps are evil and a 1 year old during the day. I have constant foot pain And give zero effs about your opinion of me and how I parent.
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LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
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Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
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'You're getting so big! I hope you will have clothes to wear these next few months!'
'Three boys? Oh man, you're life is going to be a ____' Insert circus, chaotic, an adventure, etc.
'So sorry you don't have a girl in the mix!'
'Have you thought of names yet? How about ____ or _____? I hope you choose a name that has meaning or is part of our culture.'
'Are you sure you know your due date??' In reference to carrying small.
'5 months? Oh you're barely pregnant.'
Meanwhile my MIL has "just you wait" comments but I know in her case it's more commiserating since she had to deal with my husband and his twin brother lol. Tone makes a big difference!
You're having ANOTHER baby? (DD is 26 months)
Are you sure you know your due date?! Thats gonna be a BIG baby!
Oh boy, now you have one of each, you are done right?
‘You should tell them you want a c-section, there’s no way you could handle going through birth again, right?’
(Excuse me? Like I have absolutely nothing against c-sections, but essentially telling me I’m not strong enough to make my own choice there is just…? Told her I was going with whatever it was determined would best suit the situation at the time.)
“How far along are you dear? (7 months/ 28+2) Ah, bless you. You’re so tiny. I looked like that at 2 months pregnant!”
Was kind of triggering for me, considering my MFM appointment Monday, but decided just to brush her off and the topic shifted from my size soon enough.
Geez. Nothing like letting you even birth your current child before asking about more. What is wrong with people?
MIL: Points to my belly and says “That gut. You’re definitely pregnant.”
Me:…..
MIL: …..
Me: “Well. Did you think it was a food baby? I didn’t eat too many cookies Kristi. I’m gestating.”
Merry Christmas ladies. Hope your MIL interactions are less hostile than mine!
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!
pass on both these options thank you.
A diet for an 11 month old? I can’t even…
New one from my mom Christmas Day as we were discussing with family my current situation and the baby measuring small:
Me: I felt like I was carrying larger this pregnancy, so it really threw me for a loop.
My Mom: (shaking her head in disagreement) Not to me. But you didn’t really lose the weight from your son, so I think any weight gain was harder to spot and all blended together.
Seriously?! I'm over here bawling my eyes out, terrified for my unborn child as to what we are possibly dealing with and THATS your response? My mother CAN be the most supportive person but at that particular moment she most definitely wasn't helpful
That’s terrible. Even if someone doesn’t understand how chromosomes work (aka genetic code that you have no control over), putting the blame on you is just wrong. I’m sorry. 😞
She’s older than DH, wasn’t in a relationship at the time. The jealousy runs deep with her and after that I’ve stopped caring about her. I didn’t care to tell her about DS2 or our new baby. She kept saying that she’d have the girl first. So when I invited my in laws over to do the gender reveal (DH and I knew the baby is a girl) she showed up with my in laws. I’m like this girl is going to be devastated. She’s 41, recently engaged and not trying. I cannot put my life on hold for her and her feelings.