Anxiety & Uncertainty — The Bump
August 2022 Moms

Anxiety & Uncertainty

Hello there,
congrats to everyone, who like me, has found out they’re newly pregnant. This is my second pregnancy, and I am thrilled. We had been trying for six months, and that felt like ages since our daughter we got pregnant on the second try. I do acknowledge that six months is not, in fact, ages, as some try for much, much longer. 

However, shortly after the initial excitement following my positive test at 3w5d, I was filled with fear. With my first, of course I feared miscarriage, etc. but since COVID, I’ve developed some pretty significant anxiety, and while recently I’ve been on an upward trend with my anxiety recovery, this pregnancy has sent me spiraling so many times in the few days I’ve known about it. 

Things from, is it going to be chemical since I found out so early? Is it ectopic bc I’ve had some cramping in my back? Will I miscarry? I cannot seem to relax, and I know that is not good for my growing baby. I already see a therapist (we were originally going to switch to every other week because I had been doing so well, but now that seems impossible), and have a subscription to the Calm app and have regular meditation routines. Please, please share your advice on how to navigate this hormonal anxiety and the level of uncertainty in these very early weeks. Thanks in advance!! ❤️❤️

Re: Anxiety & Uncertainty

  • I do yoga six times a week in the mornings before work and it’s what keep me sane! I transitioned today to my first prenatal class this pregnancy— it’s also my second  :)
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  • Music is my biggest help so I try to take some time everyday put my headphones in and just do some stretching a yoga. 

    I’m super nervous. This will be baby number 4 for me but pregnancy number 6. So I got a lot of doubts and fears running through my head and it’s still so early on that scares me a lot too. 
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  • Yeah, I think finding out so early (I think I was like 3w5d) and I’m just terrified. I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy before this so I have no reason to believe this will be any different. Im just a basket case. I also have had some pretty significant anxiety since the pandemic started. Suffered alone with my thoughts for a year before finally seeking out help from a therapist. 

    It’s funny bc we had talked about going down to maybe every other week because I had been doing so well, and then I found out I am pregnant like three days later and have been a bu sale of nerves ever since. 

    I need to fall back on my routines that helped me before, such as meditation, mindfulness, and limiting screen time. I cannot seem to tear myself away from Google. 
  • starkettestarkette member
    edited November 2021
    I definitely understand. It took 2.5 years to get pregnant with our second (no known reason why) even though we got pregnant really fast with our first. I had way more anxiety during that second pregnancy.

    **TW recent loss mentioned** my third pregnancy didn't work out, I had an early loss (6 weeks). I stressed so much during that short time. I learned I can't control the outcome and so stressing doesn't help. I know, it doesn't change anything but I hope to be more zen this time.**

    Now, having just found out about this pregnancy (which happened quickly this time) I'm not sure how my anxiety will be. Will it be worse? Will I detach emotionally? Will I be better because I assume it'll be okay this time? I don't know. Pregnancy is filled with so many unknowns and time stretches on foreeeever. I'm gonna have to find a good guided meditation.
  • darkrose88darkrose88 member
    edited November 2021
    I understand the anxiety too. **TW loss mentioned** my last pregnancy ended in a MC at around 7 weeks.  It has been awhile since the loss, but I've been super anxious since I got my positive test this past Thursday. I've been temping daily to verify my temps are staying high and have taken multiple tests too. I'm hoping that overtime the anxiety will lessen** 
  • @starkette and @darkrose88 so sorry to hear about your losses. I too have taken multiple, multiple tests. But find now that I have to stop because obsessing over the color of the line or if it’s darker than the last was giving me more anxiety than assurance! 

    We’re in this together, gals ❤️
  • I stopped taking tests once they were positive.

    TW*** after experiencing a pregnancy with no baby (in September) and then having the d&c, my levels were high for 6 weeks following. It changed my perspective because even though the lines are dark, it didn’t matter. So try not to overthink the lines.
    Pregnancy Ticker

    5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
  • @and_peggy that's a good point. I've been testing to verify the lines are getting darker too but it really doesn't tell me that'll I'll get a healthy baby at the end of this journey, which is what I really want to know. 
  • @darkrose88 I’ve been there though.

    *TW - have also had a regular mc and cp (as well as the healthy pregnancies) so I know how good it feels to see the lines darkening but the blighted ovum time it was brutal because I was taking tests in hopes they’d be negative. It just gave me a new perspective if nothing else. Yesterday I had an appt at the OB for a different reason, it was already scheduled. When I told them I got a positive, they offered to run betas and I declined.

    Pregnancy Ticker

    5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
  • I feel like I could have wrote this post. I have had one other successful pregnant. No previous losses. I’m so thankful for this, but for some reason fear the worst even more this time. I also was so sick with my previous pregnancy, this one is completely different. My levels are doubling appropriately. So hard not to be nervous.. my first appointment and ultrasound is 12/13.
  • @shelbyhm28 totally understand that! That's how I was with my last pregnancy because I had two successful ones before my third and thought how lucky I was to not have a loss yet. **TW** now that I went through the MC, I'm a little calmer this time because I feel like the chances of it being successful are even better. I know that might not be true but it feels that way and so I hope I can stay less anxious.***

    There's nothing I can to change the outcome so I guess I'm gonna do my best to just live life normally. It's hard though.

    @and_peggy same here, my HCG was high enough for weeks to still give me clear positives on tests. I tried to see....and yup.
  • @shelbyhm28 thanks for sharing this experience with me. If you ever want to connect outside of this board for some reassurance or just someone to talk through things with, let me know! Always here to lend an ear. 

    @darkrose88 I so appreciate you all sharing your experience with me, too. Really lucky to be apart of this group!
  • I have been doing my best to stay positive and shake any negative thoughts out of my head thus far, they still pop in when I feel a cramp or feel discharge coming out. I get so scared. *TW* I have had multiple MCs and this was the first round of IVF after being told I had low eggs and that jazz. I have one ovary and it is loaded with cysts so getting the 3 eggs out was amazing. I have another ultrasound on the 7th and I am doing my best to stay busy and staying positive that we will see two little beans with flickering heartbeats, this is something I have never seen. 
  • @msspoon12 I’m thrilled for you that both your little nuggets stuck! My now-four year old oldest daughter is a product of IVF, and I will never forget the experience. Will keep fingers and toes crossed for a great ultrasound on the 7th. 
  • @msspoon12 yes sending you all the good vibes. Do you know you're having twins or are you just hoping for it? Either way, that's so exciting. I can just imagine the anxiety though. It took almost 3 years to get pregnant with our daughter and when I finally did the anxiety never stopped. 
  • becks105becks105 member
    edited December 2021
    Sending you positive vibes, @msspoon12 . Thanks for sharing this journey with us!
  • @nikkiw0082 oh that's so cool! Keeping fingers crossed for both of those little beans. <3 
  • Sorry guys it looks like my laptop and phone are logged j to two different accounts (msspoon12) and nikki0082. I didn’t realize until today when I was responding above.TW  I had a bump acct previously but thought I closed it after my last loss 3 years ago). I will closing this profile again and only posting from the MsSpoon12.
  • @nikkiw0082 Twins!  That is awesome.  Double the joy!



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

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  • Really grateful to be part of a supportive group of mums here!! I’m struggling so much making it through the day at work. I’m a teacher and have a heavy workload this year. It’s also post pandemic interrupted learning and I find it has been easy for me to get anxious and stressed once Monday comes. I took a stress leave last year that helped a lot, but I’m wanting to make it through the year so my mat leave isn’t impacted in any way. 

    My mom had some miscarriages and I am scared everyday that the same could happen to me. I’m in awe of all of you ladies who have worked through that pain. Everywhere I go, I see red flags of ways I could hurt baby. The other day I lost all my symptoms, which I know is a sign of an mc, but thankfully they have returned. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had lost the baby. With all the hormones flooding my system, it’s hard to stay positive sometimes. 
  • @andrea3o the loss of symptoms thing is a myth because it takes weeks for HcG to get back to 0 and symptoms stay pretty much the entire time. **TW** with my mmc I had sore boobs and nausea for weeks afterward and I was only like 6-7 weeks along.** It's hard because anxiety is gonna there. The entire pregnancy, but there's really nothing we can do but hope things will work out okay. 
  • I’m going to have labs taken tomorrow and Thursday to check for progression. I am doing everything I can not to be a complete basket case, but **TW** the lines haven’t been getting darker, so I am pretty worried. 
  • becks105becks105 member
    edited December 2021
    @andrea3o you’ve basically summed up how I feel, too. Only until the last few days have I begun to think there’s actually going to be a baby at the end of this, and not a MC or EP. You’re in good company here!

    @EmilyE13 I’m sorry you’re experiencing that and feeling so much stress. I’m not going to tell you not to worry, because I know it would be no use. But, I’ve read that that’s not always the best indicator because home pregnancy tests only test the presence of HCG, not the quantity. Crossing my fingers that all your blood work checks out!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻❤️❤️ Let us know if there’s anything we can do for you. 
  • @becks105 @starkette @EmilyE13 it’s very helpful to feel validated, so thank you 💛 I thankfully have ridden through that wave of anxiety and am now just constantly exhausted and nauseous. I know once I have that first check up, I’ll find relief. Just gotta hold down the fort until Jan. 13!
    ***TW*** @starkette I’m so sorry to hear you had symptoms through your mc. I can’t even imagine how painful it must have been to discover the truth after all that. My heart aches for you, and I’m so glad you’re here on this journey again for your rainbow baby 💗
  • @andrea3o thanks for that, it wasn't fun and messed with my mind, that's for sure. I'm cautiously optimistic this time, though. <3
  • @starkette My pleasure mama. I can’t remember who posted this mantra earlier (maybe @becks105?) but they said “today, I’m pregnant”, and that really stuck with me as an optimistic yet realistic way to look at the first trimester. I hope you can continue to feel peace and that cautious optimism until your first appointment!
  • I am having so much anxiety. I went to having only breast soreness as a symptom, to no symptoms except some very mild crampy discomfort every now and again. I'm going to call the Dr and ask for betas. My appointment isn't until the 6 of January. 
  • @starkette literally poke and grab my boobs all day. Lol. 
  • I have been seeing a therapist for my anxiety for some time, because the pandemic has kind of triggered some health-related anxiety for me. In the beginning, when I started, she just had me remind myself throughout the day that “I’m safe.” Now I use “‘my baby and I are safe” and it’s helped!
  • @becks105 I feel like that would be very helpful mantra! last pregnancy I listed to a positive pregnancy affirmation audio daily that I found very soothing & helped me stay calm/safe... I haven't started doing that this pregnancy but considering the world at wide, I really should.   
  • @darkrose88 where did you find the audio at? I’d love to check it out!
  • @becks105 I like that mantra, and I'm glad it's helped you!
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • This thread is everything for me. My anxiety has sky rocketed in 2021. There are also so many nerves and anxieties about my first positive test. I am trying my best to not read anything more online! Google is my own worst enemy. I’ve feared an ectopic pregnancy for (no solid reason) and reading more online only had me wondering about every cramp or slight pain.
    I work in the mental health field so my coworker has been my saving grace!

    I am relieved to read about all of your experiences and how you are managing stress and anxiety!
  • @becks105 so I got it as part of a bundle from hypnobabies. It is called Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations. It looks like it may be available from Amazon music unlimited (they are offering 3 months free right now if you don't have a subscription) so you could give it a try there without spending any money. 
  • @darkrose88 I listened to those during my last pregnancy and I loved them! +1 for hypnobabies  :)
  • For those previous mommas - is uncertainty about this whole life changing event normal? Had an ultrasound sound today and saw the heartbeat for the first time (which is amazing!) but it just really made me feel a bit anxious.
  • @bfreiburger yea I understand that completely. It's hard to know if things will be okay until baby is born, and then it's all about newborn anxiety. I swear it never goes away. But I try to widen my perspective (so hard) and try to see things as "if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be". Nothing I can do either way so....I try to occupy myself with other projects. Though laying in bed at night is when all the thoughts come.....
  • I'm freaking out as well I'm 5 weeks 4days. This is my third pregnancy, We had a loss in July at 4-5 weeks. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic but I'm afraid to get too attached to this baby. I have generalized anxiety and depression anyway so now it's just magnified. 

    I have an ultrasound next week and I'm so upset because they won't let my husband in and I'm afraid there won't be a heartbeat. I'm sleeping like crap because I can't take my sleeping meds and I pee every 10 mins. I hate this out of control feeling. 
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