February 2022 Moms

Re: Weekly randoms 11.8

  • Got my first pregnancy cold and I’m dying. 🙃 it’s so unfair that we can’t take cold meds! 
  • @photographerwife Ugh! Lots of warm baths and tea! Get feeling better!
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  • @lexilougolden thanks! Currently having cup o noodles because it’s soothing! 😅
  • @photographerwife I hope you feel better! Tylenol, rest, warm bath, tea, vitamins, soup, stay warm and cozy!
  • @photographerwife oof I hope it passes soon!! 
  • Thanks guys! Not feeling too bad so hopefully it’ll clear up in a couple of days:) 
  • Not being able to take cold meds sucks. 
  • @photographerwife ooo that sucks, that was me a few weeks ago! Hopefully it passes quickly!
  • So I’m ready to share what’s been going on. 

    About a month ago, my husband told me he wasn’t happy. He is realizing he never processed his grief from when our baby died in February, and he has felt alone. He thought he might need a separation, but we worked through that, or so I thought. 

    It turns out my husband of 14 years (partner of 19) has been having an affair. 

    It was a months long emotional affair, and he “loves her.” We live in Florida. She lives in Canada. He went to Canada twice this past month to go on solo soul searching trips to watch hockey. Or so I thought. Turns out it was to meet her. 

    He says they never slept together (I believe that as far as I can throw him, though his Google search after did indicate that he had ED issues during their time together… never been an issue here). 

    I’ve been in therapy since we lost Easton. He recently started individual therapy. We went back to our marriage counselor and committed to trying to work through this. 

    I found out tonight that he’s still talking to her. I asked him to move out and I will be filing for divorce 😔
  • @angelz429 Oh I am so sorry. That is all so horrible. Do you have family or friends around for support? 

    I wish there were something I could do to help.
  • @angelz429 I’m so sorry, my heart is breaking for you. If you need to vent or talk I’m here. How are you processing all this? It’s so much 😢
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @angelz429 I'm so sorry. I in no way understand how you feel but have gone through a divorce to a cheating husband as well. I'm here to talk whenever you need to. I'm happy to give you my number if you'd like someone to text. There are so many feelings when going through what you are. +kids and pregnancy and all that?! Know this: 1. You are not alone. Don't be afraid to reach out to whoever you need to. 2. You did nothing to deserve this. It's all on him and his bad choices. Wish I could give you a hug! <3
  • @angelz429 I am so sorry you have to go through this. It would be incredibly hard at any time, on top of this shared grief while ALSO carrying and growing a new human. this community is here for you, and if you want more private 1-1 I'd be happy to give you my number as well ❤️
  • @angelz429 I am so sorry. What an ass. I understand that grief can be hard in this scenario but what about you? What about this baby? That’s so unfair and I’m so sorry. We’re here for you. 
  • @angelz429 I'm so sorry you're going through this.  If you need anything, please know we are here for you.
  • @angelz429 I'm so so sorry. How incredibly selfish of him. 
  • @livingoffpbjs I think I just had sympathy pain for you with the backwards pumping. That had to really hurt!
  • @livingoffpbjs I started one, but I was waiting for more responses on the migration poll first! And we’ll do a private group first just to sort through everyone before we move. I’ve been in and seen groups where people have active catfish’s. So we’re gonna be careful moving! 😬
  • Do you ever start a conversation and then immediately regret it? I had that moment today with a customer service chat box while trying to coordinate a bunk bed wood color with the existing furniture in the room. The boys are going to share a room until we move, and of course the bunk bed I found that I like doesn’t come in a dark brown color to match everything else in the room that will stay. So I asked the customer service lady, and she was not helpful. So anyone who is good with color coordinating different wood colors, what color of a bunk bed do you think would coordinate with a dark brown (espresso)? I’m a visual person who needs help lol. 
  • @makingbacon I hate trying to mix wood tones. I had a hard time mixing our nursery too because of the wood but luckily ended up finding a couple of tones that I liked and match. 

    I found this link that might help, I think white and espresso would go together. But who knows. Lol 
  • @makingbacon - white tends to go with espresso fairly well, especially if you can get that more “rustic” white where you could see some knots or something. Or a rustic barn board brown. 
    Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian 
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
    04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 06.2019
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
    09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
    10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
    01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
    08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
    11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
    05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!

  • ninrmsninrms member
    edited November 2021
    @makingbacon Oh I wish I could help. Our house is a mess of different woods—some of them high quality, some of them garbage. Our bedroom, for example, has a wood ceiling, three walls have a different (nice but imo ugly) solid wood paneling, then the trim on doors and windows is yet ANOTHER wood. Like what were these people thinking?? (Then we inherited heavy wood furniture that is of course a different one…and does not match our cheap fake wood ikea bed frame!) Someday I’ll fix it lol.
  • @photographerwife I hope your cold is letting up a little and that your husband doesn't end up with the dreaded man cold! 

    @angelz429 I'm so upset for you! I'm sorry that he was so selfish, dishonest, and betrayed your trust. Divorce is hard, but feeling alone in a marriage is harder. Please reach out for any support or questions! 

    @livingoffpbjs oh no! I'm pretty sure my nipples inverted just thinking about that! Ouch! 

    @makingbacon agree with the others here- white would be good with espresso! 
  • Thanks for the color help! I talked with another customer service rep, and apparently that company will send wood samples upon request.  I sent my request for samples, so fingers crossed they actually send them.  I'm leaning towards getting the white, but everyone in my family keeps telling me that white is for girls? I'm not sure how a standard bunk bed in white would be for a girl?
  • @makingbacon lol @ white is for girls. Like what? I think you can easily dress up white for any decor, any gender! Hopefully they will send samples though! That’s handy! 

    @modoodles thank you! I am starting to feel better today! And my husband did get it but has been keeping the complaining on the dl. Haha 
  • @makingbacon I'm in the same boat. Our crib is a beautiful medium brown wood from West Elm and we're trying to find a cheap twin bed that will look good with it. We might try to stain one from Ikea to match but also are lazy lol
  • @kaf1788 The thought of staining one to match crossed my mind for about half a second.  Once we move, the goal/plan is to have enough bedrooms for each kid to have their own room, so my hope and dream is to have it long enough to get us through relocating, and then selling it.  DH keeps talking about what happens if the boys love sharing a room, or if DS1 decides he has to keep his bunk beds, but we'll cross that bridge later lol.
  • My 2Modern rocker finally came! @chgilmore Hope yours is on its way too! Though, it's just sitting on my front porch because MH is on a climbing trip and it's a huge box. lol.
  • I just had a "coaching" call and she asked me my ideal vision for 3 years from now. 

    I thought I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore, (I just put a retainer down for a lawyer yesterday 💔) but I was very clear that my husband was there in my vision. 

    So now I'm more confused. 😔
  • @angelz429 I'm sorry. It's a rollercoaster of emotions! Back and forth feelings. Hugs.
  • @lexilougolden I am envious but glad for you! Hopefully they get themselves together. 
    @angelz429 you're doing your best and there are so so so many feelings and A LOT of shared history. It's complex and complicated and how you feel - the multifaceted complexity of it - is valid ❤️❤️❤️
  • @angelz429 I’m so sorry. That’s so much to unravel and process, we are here for you! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • He moves out today guys. He just got here. I’m a mess. 
  • @angelz429 Do you have pets? Can they pee on all his stuff first? Im so sorry :'( 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @angelz429 Oh I'm so sorry. We're here for you! I hope it's going okay. <3
  • @angelz429 so sorry that you’re going through all of this. What an ass. 
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