Feeling isolated — The Bump
1st Trimester

Feeling isolated

maidenseyrymaidenseyry member
edited October 11 in 1st Trimester
Hi everyone, first time pregnancy here. Boyfriend and I weren’t trying to conceive so this was a bit of an accident. I’m a 20 year old girl who’s still in college and all of our friends are also 20-25. Went to my first social event since finding out I’m pregnant and I felt so left out. Everyone was drinking and smoking and obviously I couldn’t. There was also a hot tub which I couldn’t do either. I know drinking and partying isn’t all there is and I can have fun sober. But I can’t help but feel isolated from my other young friends. No one else in my age group where I’m from is dealing with this kind of thing.

Has anyone else ever feel left out or isolated because of pregnancy? Maybe I’m overreacting because of hormones 😞
starkette

Re: Feeling isolated

  • Hey there.  <3 So I got married at 22 and then went to college. I was 24 and married when everyone else was 18-22 and free as a bird. I didn't go to any parties and even though I had class friends I didn't hang out with them outside of class. I always felt like I was on the outside but it wasn't terrible. I was different but I found my own happiness in my more mature lifestyle. I do sometimes feel like I missed out a bit on the typical college experience, but I traded it for a different kind of experience and I don't regret it. I've now been married 12 years and have two kids (pregnant with #3). I will say, maybe write a list of quintessential college experiences you want to have before baby comes and set out to do them, if possible. It'll help. Any you'll find your people. There are always older college students who aren't doing that stuff either but who still have fun in other ways.
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  • meggymemeggyme member
    edited October 11
    Hi everyone, first time pregnancy here. Boyfriend and I weren’t trying to conceive so this was a bit of an accident. I’m a 20 year old girl who’s still in college and all of our friends are also 20-25. Went to my first social event since finding out I’m pregnant and I felt so left out. Everyone was drinking and smoking and obviously I couldn’t. There was also a hot tub which I couldn’t do either. I know drinking and partying isn’t all there is and I can have fun sober. But I can’t help but feel isolated from my other young friends. No one else in my age group where I’m from is dealing with this kind of thing.

    Has anyone else ever feel left out or isolated because of pregnancy? Maybe I’m overreacting because of hormones 😞
    I would say that is all pretty normal. And you feel different from your peers because you are. Most people don’t have kids that young, but you will find who your real friends are. Maybe take the lead on inviting people to do something you can participate in and still have fun.
    ME: 33  DH: 33 DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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  • I had to go to a wedding over the weekend and literally cried because everyone was dancing and having a great time while I sat at the table because I was so tired. I’m gonna mostly blame hormones for my tears. Pregnancy only lasts so long. Just think of the gift you’re about to receive! 
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