April 2022 Moms

Re: WTF Wednesday 9/15

  • @monstera13 the unequal split of the mental load is infuriating. 
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  • fameonmain2fameonmain2 member
    edited September 2021
    @monstera13 +1 to the unequal split being so frustrating.

    MH's truck went into the shop today to check the brakes.... welp, brakes are in rough shape. Like, nearly $2,000 rough :(:(:(
  • @monstera13 The mental load argument is one that we circle back to often.  I just don't think he will EVER understand.
    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • +1 for carrying 100% of the mental load around our house. But I do feel a bit lucky because DH does more than his fair share of chores around the house. He's doing physical labor and I'm doing the mental labor. I always make it a point if we are talking about share of chores to point out that I keep the lights on in the house (bills) and make sure that DS5 makes it to all of his dr appts (etc.). Luckily it seems to work well for us. 

    He does get a bit huffy if I don't notice that he cleaned the kitchen (etc), so I try to stay on top of that even though I'm terrible at it. I don't expect him to thank me for paying the bills.  :| but I think its more of a difference in love languages than anything.
  • Carrying 100% of the mental load is tough and doesn’t get enough credit. I’m a clean freak so I take on most chores too but my husband is great at taking care of the kids and doing bedtime and wiping butts haha. He has more patience for those things than I do and is just the best dad I could ask for for my kids. But, it is frustrating to be the one who constantly have to delve out duties. 
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • @Blondesweety444 Yes to the love languages— mine has changed over the years since we had DD6. It used to be “touch” but now I think “acts of service” has definitely taken a priority. DH has always been “words of affirmation”. I get very frustrated when I realize how much of the mental load I carry in this family, and I get super irritated when he is outside working on the yard or rearranging the attic for the millionth time when the common living areas look like a disaster zone and clearly need more immediate attention. But I truly just don’t think he notices the same things I do. And I also wouldn’t know (or care) the first thing about yard work or the attic so I appreciate that he takes those on so I don’t have to worry about it. 

    I have a towel in our kitchen that says “I could keep this place clean if you people would eat somewhere else” and it makes me laugh but omg if you can put your dishes in the sink they can make it another six inches to the dishwasher. 
  • @monstera13 I can so relate.  DH had to take the kids to soccer last night.  Tonight their gear was a wreck.  No one knew where their shoes, ball etc were.  It took 86,000 times longer than it should have to get ready.  We ended up finding ds3s water bottle on the ground next to the porta johns tonight.  Thank God we found it bc he's very particular about that specific water bottle.
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  • @Blondesweety444 my husband is very similar. He is all about words of affirmation and I have to remind myself to say thanks or I appreciate the clean kitchen. It always sounds patronizing to me even though I really do appreciate it
  • Well it's not Wednesday anymore, but UCSF just called me to scheduling my first trimester ultrasound with MFM, and I called them back, and they were like "oh we don't have any appointments within your window, we'll have to write you up to management." Like um ok.... and... then what? lol
  • @doxiemoxie212, WTH! Why did they call you then????

    I have noticed that getting appts/u/s scheduled is much more difficult this time around. It wasn’t like this even in 2020. I am thinking many doctors/health professionals have quit/retire since COVID. What do you y’all think?
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

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  • @queenklau hard for me to know since last time I was in NYC. My OB's office was inside the hospital and MFM was right across the hall, so after my first appt they literally just walked me over and we made an appointment - there was no lag time waiting for a referral to call me. This time I have to trek all over for all the different stuff. There's also only one L&D in this entire county, our county has one of the highest percent elderly populations so there just isn't a lot of maternity infrastructure in general. But if you're geriatric this is the place to be ;) lol 
  • @doxiemoxie212 ugh that is so annoying, what was the point of that call 😐 seems like they should already have figured that out before calling..

    @queenklau I think that's accurate for sure! My OBGYN retired July 2020, the wait list to meet with my new OB from the same office is four months 😳 my first appt and ultrasound is next week, I had to schedule a month ago and I'm seeing a nurse. Not ideal but I guess this is where we are at now.
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