HELP

lulam13

I need help. My boyfriend of 9 years and I have a 15 month old. We said we wanted a second eventually but we weren’t ready right now. And if I ever got pregnant I would get an abortion. Well just took a test and I am around four weeks pregnant and now I don’t know if I want one. I know that we aren’t ready, and logically it doesn’t make sense. But in my heart I do not think I want an abortion. My boyfriend is very angry and says he feels like I lied to him. He wavers back and forth between saying it’s my choice, wanting another baby, and saying if I don’t get an abortion it is going to ruin our relationship and family. I will admit having a baby in the pandemic (I got pregnant before covid was even a known thing) really rocked us. We have had extreme ups and downs. And I know a second baby could break up but an abortion could as well. I just don’t know what to do and do not have anyone close I feel comfortable sharing this with. Any advice or words of support would mean the world to me.