April 2022 Moms
picklebee
member
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When to Announce?
picklebee
member
Just wondering when you will announce your pregnancy and the reasoning behind your timing. If this is covered in another thread, please let me know. I'm FTM and have been trying for years. Older, 39. I want to wait until week 12 but it's getting hard. We're selling our house so there's lots of work to do and there's lots of other little events here and there that I don't have the energy for. I don't want to tell folks I'm sick cause then everyone assumes it's covid. Just wondering how others have thought about their announcement and how do you hide your symptoms when know one else knows. Thanks!
Re: When to Announce?
But seriously - normalize miscarriage. Women shouldn't have to suffer in silence.
Even then there were people at work I didn’t want to tell outright. I told them I was dealing with a non-dangerous, but chronic health condition that needed my attention over the next few months, and I would be taking a step back.
I’ve seen other women on the Bump boards who have done a really good job of expressing their complicated emotions in early pregnancy with their loved ones. Some have suggested saying things like, “I’m happy to be pregnant, but not ready to be excited yet. Let’s plan to celebrate and share more broadly after [some meaningful milestone to you].” Pregnancy announcements don’t have to be pink and blue balloons with excessive exclamation points.
I’m hoping you can get the support you need through first tri during your big life changes, whether it’s through a formal announcement, quiet disclosures with the people you need help from, or any other way that feels right to you.
TW Prior loss
@rbflei I hate so much that's a consideration you have. Hugs for having to put up with that extra added stress.
We waited with DD6 to tell family at 10 weeks but that was because I wanted it to be a Christmas reveal. It was really hard to wait that long! We’ll be telling family this week, at 7 weeks, after my first ultrasound, because there’s a paranoia lurking that it’s all in my head and I need that visual confirmation. I’m close with my mom and sisters so I want them involved as soon as possible, and if something were to happen they would already be there for me to hold space for me to grieve and heal rather than me having to first explain what was going on or try to hide the whole experience from them. I’ll tell some close friends this week, too, but we’re waiting a while to make a social media announcement because I honestly just hate social media in general lately and I don’t feel like it.
You just do you. There's no wrong time to announce. A friend of mine posts on social media WAY later, when she has a huge bump, between 5 to 8 months. It doesn't matter, and if you don't want to, you don't have to.
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
I have usually done 9-10 weeks with our parents and siblings. My BFFs usually find out first around 7-9. Other friends and acquaintances that we talk to or see often around 12+ weeks. Everyone else, when they see me….
I don’t really want to have unsolicited advice or comments on pregnancy from people that I rarely talk to.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
I'm hoping to tell close friends and great-grandparents shortly thereafter. I expect we might announce to social media around our one year wedding anniversary in October, if everyone important to us knows by then. I expect others will start to figure it out with the baby bloat I have going on and lack of drinking.
I think it's a personal decision, and I would have shared earlier to have the support had my appointment been a little earlier.
I told close friends and family this time again once we found out and I will probably tell my boss at 12 weeks again. My best friend since kindergarten told me she was pregnant before I confirmed my pregnancy. Last time I just told her over the phone, now that we're pregnant together, I want to do it in person. I'm impatient though and want to tell her lol.
With DS we never did a social media announcement but DH did post some pics of me at 25 or so weeks looking extremely pregnant on a trip and then when he was born we shared.
A couple of cousins found out at a cookout around week 5 because I wasn’t drinking and they asked. I couldn’t lie.
My boss found out around 7 weeks because I “looked worried about something” and she kept pressing me on it until I gave it up. So everyone at work knew from there.
I told my mom/grandpa the day after our ultrasound showed two heartbeats. It was really hard to keep from them but I knew my mom would panic worry if I told her and she stresses me out lol.
I have another ultrasound at 12 weeks and if it goes well, we'll tell work and friends. I'm very close with my boss so I can't wait to tell her!
Kinda funny but we told my family by bringing a box of donuts with an announcement (baby coming April 2022) and the sonogram taped to the lid. My mom and grandma, the main people I wanted to tell, REFUSED to even look at the donuts despite everyone's insistence. It took 2 hours and us putting the box in front of my mom's face and she STILL didn't see it and only looked at the donuts confused. It was hilarious.
My two cents are that if something bad does happen to this baby you probably will be pretty upset, and your children will be pretty confused by it if they don't know what's going on. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, so it's pretty likely they'll experience miscarriage themselves at some point in their lives. This could be an opportunity to reduce the sense of aloneness that often comes with miscarriage - for them in the future and you now. And statistically at this point the odds are low that something bad will happen in which case you get to celebrate something with them! Personally, I don't think celebrating good news jinxes it, and I don't think bracing for bad news makes it any easier to handle; I think not celebrating good news robs us of opportunities to experience joy, and we need all the opportunities we can get.
I was kind of leaning against and couldn’t remember all the reasons why! Maybe I’ll pay for a private scan instead for extra reassurance.
I realize everyone has a different opinion on the topic, and I completely respect that, but it’s obviously a very personal decision for each family and a lot of factors go into making that decision!
I had my first MW appointment yesterday, which I had booked time off for a "doctor appointment". Tuesday morning, I had to take DD1 to the hospital and at the end of the appointment, they suggested a Covid test because she has a runny nose (we were there for non Covid reasons). I decided to do it just to be safe although I was 99.9% sure she didn't have it. Well that meant isolating unt we got the results. So I texted my boss and said that I could WFH the next and and I would be rescheduling my MW appointment. So now he knows. I feel so much better now. I was feeling so guilty that he didn't know and I am pregnant returning to work. He was happy for us though and very supportive.
Married: October 2011
DS: January 2016
DS: May 2019
#3: April 2022