*TW* falling pregnant after miscarriage

rosiesullivan

I miscarried earlier in the year. It was one of the most traumatic and heartbreaking things I’ve ever experienced. We found out last Friday that we are pregnant again! But I can’t find any joy in it. I am so anxious that something will go wrong that I’m going to end up having a nervous breakdown. I’ve had blood tests, urine tests, I keep getting the GP to check for me. Every gurgle, twinge, etc I am scared is the start of a miscarriage. Terrified to go to the bathroom for fear of seeing blood again. And I absolutely understand it’s not rational but I’m having such a hard time believing everything is going to be OK and even if it’s not, just not panicking this much. I’m also heartbroken that I’m not excited or happy. 

I’m sure there are many other women who have experienced this- would you be able to please share any advice or guidance? Did you feel like this? How did you overcome it or at least get through it? 

Thank you in advance x 

Lisa3379

I'm sorry that you're struggling. I know how you're feeling - I had two losses in 2020. It probably sounds super cliche, but just take it one day at a time. Be happy for yourself, but stay cool about it, if that makes sense. I have to admit that, at 21 weeks, I still look at the toilet paper every single time I wipe, and I probably will until the day I go into labor. All you can do is continue to take care of yourself as best you can, and just try to be optimistic. For me, it got a lot better as I hit week 8, and every week that went by I worried at least a tiny bit less and less. Every checkup and ultrasound that comes and goes helps too. There is no magical cure for the anxiety, and every single woman that has experienced a loss can sympathize with you for sure. One day at a time. Just breathe. 

fifilala516

Lisa3379 said:

I'm sorry that you're struggling. I know how you're feeling - I had two losses in 2020. It probably sounds super cliche, but just take it one day at a time. Be happy for yourself, but stay cool about it, if that makes sense. I have to admit that, at 21 weeks, I still look at the toilet paper every single time I wipe, and I probably will until the day I go into labor. All you can do is continue to take care of yourself as best you can, and just try to be optimistic. For me, it got a lot better as I hit week 8, and every week that went by I worried at least a tiny bit less and less. Every checkup and ultrasound that comes and goes helps too. There is no magical cure for the anxiety, and every single woman that has experienced a loss can sympathize with you for sure. One day at a time. Just breathe. 

Every single word of this. You got this! 

cbiron0330

I had a chemical pregnancy in July. And I just got another positive recently. You just have to tell yourself to relax, because being anxious and upset is the worst thing you can do for this pregnancy. It’s very likely that this one will stick and be super healthy! Just tell yourself that’s how the statistics work. I’m so sorry that you went through that because I know they are very upsetting. Just take it one day at a time, and one hour at a time. Try to keep yourself busy with things you enjoy! Life happens as it is supposed to.

lelkcot

Ok, have to jump in - being “anxious and upset” is not remotely the worst thing you can do for your pregnancy. Please do not think your anxiety or concerns are somehow going cause issues. 

I had two early losses before my second child was born. It was so hard to have faith in my body, I was constantly worried that I was going to have another loss. Thankfully my providers were very understanding and squeezed me in for an extra doppler hb check when I was worried. Trying to take it a day at a time was what helped me most. Good luck ❤️

katb2021

I feel the same way. I had an early loss in April at about 7 weeks. But I did not know about it until I went to an ultrasound and the baby did not have a heartbeat and was a lot smaller then it should. It was the worst feeling ever to hear this that was suppose to be the happy time. I was a mess for a couple of month and had a nervous breakdown. I do not know how I got through it. Now I m pregnant again and I do not find joy in it. I was afraid to be excited when I got the positive pregnancy test. And when I told my husband, he was having a hard time to be happy, I could tell from his reaction. I think I would feel a lot better if I can get through the first three month. The thought of going to an ultrasound scares the hell out of me as I keep replaying in my mind what happened on the ultrasound when I found out about my loss. This literally scarred me for life. I m just praying for a healthy pregnancy this time.