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April 2022 Moms
catbensley
member
Those who have been pregnant before - any advice for first time pregnancies? 😊
catbensley
member
Congratulations to everyone again 
Just a thread of advice on things about pregnancy that you wish you’d known the first time! Would be great to pick up some tips and enjoy the ride!!
Just a thread of advice on things about pregnancy that you wish you’d known the first time! Would be great to pick up some tips and enjoy the ride!!
Re: Those who have been pregnant before - any advice for first time pregnancies? 😊
try to work out during pregnancy but give yourself grace on the days you can’t.
buy Uggs for the winter and live in them! They were the only shoes my swollen feet would fit in with my winter pregnancy. In the spring, I wore Birkenstock sandals everyday haha.
Try not to be shy and ask for a seat on the subway or bus - you deserve one and it’s for your safety.
Ask your partner for lots of foot rubs
second getting a prenatal massage (make sure they have a prenatal table with a cut out for your bump!)
Married: October 2011
DS: January 2016
DS: May 2019
#3: April 2022
Don't assume first trimester nausea is the hardest part. Don't assume you'll be mobile in third trimester.
Try to get some maternity tops that are BFing friendly if you're going that route. You won't be your pre-pregnancy size immediately after you give birth, and it's really annoying to get a maternity wardrobe AND a pre-pregnancy wardrobe AND an in-between wardrobe, so try to have some maternity stuff that can spill over into postpartum nursing life. Things like oversized button down shirts can be great.
Remember head and spine are the heaviest part of baby so to ensure a more comfortable position for labor (assuming you're not having a planned c-section), stay upright and do some exercises every day leaning forward or on all fours.
Tackle constipation immediately. Do no wait until you have hemorrhoids because they will get worse with pushing during a vaginal delivery if you already have them (RIP my pre-pregnancy butthole).
stay on top of your own medical care and do not be afraid to ask all the questions. I don’t care how much you like your doctor, you may have to see someone else one time and your whole regimen/plan gets thrown off because they’re not familiar with you or your not familiar with them—and the office staff are not always on top of things. I had severe pre-clampsia that was never caught all because I saw a different provider one day and she forgot to order the 24 hour urine, and I was none the wiser—also, everyone was very laze faire about my blood pressures so nothing ever got done about it. Be curious and be assertive! You are paying them to do their job, after all.
you won’t use 25-50% of what you ask for/receive at your baby shower.
this is more something I’ve learned from working as a nurse during Covid on a postpartum floor, but there’s a lot to be said for not having a bunch of visitors in the room with you when everything is still fresh and painful and new. Everybody seems to find that they are a lot more relaxed this way. Regardless of where we are in nine months from now with visitation rules at hospitals, always remember that privacy is a valuable valuable thing, and people will get to come see the baby after you’re home and comfortable. Keep it intimate—I probably won’t have all the grandparents and who all with me because I just don’t want that many people in our hair during that time.
also agree- can’t wait until later on when we do the registry thread. Now that I’m on kid 3 I feel like I really know what we used and what we didn’t, but I also know a lot of it is kid dependent.
but so so true I know!!! 🤷🏼♀️
As for me, I was so nauseated during the first trimester last time that I often completely skipped exercise when I could have chosen something easier. This time around, I want to practice “turning the dial down” to where I need it instead of fully stopping mindful body movement. For me, at peak nausea, the bare minimum might be mindful breathing and Kegels while I lay down in bed.
FWIW I bought the @ women in motion (ig) pregnancy + birth PFPT class this time. She had a sale right after she gave birth to her daughter so I was like eff it, let's try it lol. She goes over exercises to help avoid SPD, which I struggled with so much with my first, pregnancy-friendly exercises, how your partner can support you in birth with evidence based techniques, etc. Not all PTs know pelvic floor, and not all pelvic floor PTs know obstetrics. I still think working with someone in person is best (weak pelvic floor muscles can present as tight or loose - so for some women kegels are really beneficial, but for some they can do more harm than good, and that's not something you can really assess yourself), but I like having an on-demand pregnancy-friendly workout plan at the very least.
Your mood and mental health can change in pregnancy. people get so focused on postpartum depression that we often ignore perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. often times serious mood/mental health changes are dismissed as "hormones." If you're experiencing mood changes/anxiety/depression talk to your OB, find a perinatal mental health specialist, talk about it.
Those with a history of mental health condition are at a little bit of a higher risk of developing a perinatal mood/anixety d/o. Also, there are several mental health medications that can and in some cases should be taken in pregnancy. Not saying this is you specifically, but if any one happens to be reading this... (steps off of soapbox) but seriously mental health is important.
I know it was mentioned above, but seriously drink LOTS of water, whatever you think is a lot, add like 4-5 more glasses.
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
This is my 3rd pregnancy, 4th child, and I will reiterate what thisnthat314 said- allow yourself to pave your own way and lose the expectation that there is one RIGHT way. All pregnancies and then babies are different. Do what is right for you and take care of yourself.
I echo what some others have said too - take care of your body, you’ll feel it afterwards. I wish I’d done a better job for round 1, and am doing better with baby 2.
Hold your birth plan loosely. It’s definitely helpful to have, but there’s so many variables.
When you start showing, BUY A PREGNANCY pillow. I delayed on buying one because I’m cheap and thought it was silly…then I finally caved because I wasn’t sleeping and it was worth every penny tenfold. You won’t sleep much when the baby is born, but nothing can beat a good night of sleep.
I also gave into all of my pregnancy cravings and hardly worked out thinking I’d just lose whatever weight I gained after I was cleared to workout. HA! No time and no energy. Took me two years to lose what I gained. Definitely going to be intentional with healthier choices/habits this time.
I second limiting visitors - in the hospital and at home. We didn’t want to tell anyone no, and it often interrupted BFing or pumping time and also limited the time I had to rest. Plus I would stress over the house looking perfect for visitors. Space out your visits and plan them around what works best for you!
I made some freezer meals ahead of time, and they came in really handy! We also bought grocery store gift cards throughout pregnancy, and that helped with diaper, etc. cost once the twins came.
Be gentle and patient with yourself, take care of yourself and ask for help whenever needed-both pre-and post-partum! Don't try to be super mom, this is a long distance race, not a sprint.
Be ready for unsolicited advice, EVERYONE has some opinion about your pregnancy/baby and you don't have to listen to ANY of it (unless it's your partner and/or doctor). I even make the mistake to say something to pregnant friends sometimes, it's human, but I try to hold back unless asked directly.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
I had really bad heart palpitations and my heart was 100-140 all day and night. Visit to a cardiologist and a Simple medicine fixed it. Listen to your body and tell your doctor if you feel off.
This is also probably my biggest UO: only trust your instincts to a point. Feel fully free to ignore strangers and acquaintances about advice, but trust that the people who love and care about you do love and care about you. If they're saying you're clinging too tightly to some kind of plan and making yourself insane, listen to them. PPA/PPD are real, and it may not feel like that's what's going on to the person who is experiencing it. If you want to try something, if you think it'll work, do it! But if it's not working, try something else! Don't just be so stubborn about your plans that you drive yourself nuts trying to implement them. Don't just assume you're doing it wrong and need to try harder if you're not achieving the goal of the thing (for instance, if you want to BF - great! But the goal of BFing is a baby who is fed, and if that's not happening, then you can't just tough it out alone, at the very least you need help from a lactation consultant).
The third time around for me, I was so sure that DS3 would come on his own. My last (DS2) had come on his own and was born "easily" and without any meds. I was arrogant, this was my third baby, I know my body, I hate inductions, etc.... Pick your excuse. My doc had scheduled an induction for 41 weeks. I was 39 at the time. I canceled it on that day because I was having some light contractions and was sure that I could do it without an induction. DS3 didn't come and I put him more at risk by wanting to avoid the induction. 2 days later I was contracting, but not dilated much. He was in distress and my BP was high by this point. I was sent directly to the hospital to be induced. DS3 was healthy and unharmed, thankfully, but I learned a valuable lesson. Listen to your body. Listen to your doc. Then, make an informed decision together to keep everyone safe. Safety is the goal. Not a perfect birth story.
Google can be helpful but you can find so much backing up all the options you face in every situation. Find a good sounding board that you are comfortable talking to. It will make the whole process so much better.