Boy oh boy do I have a good one for you. So as I’ve mentioned before, my SIL is the absolute worst. What I’m not sure I’ve mentioned is that she’s like this because my MIL and FIL not only allow her atrocious behavior but they actually encourage it. Everyone around them sees how awful my SIL is and sees that mainly my MIL allows it but there’s no telling her. It’s heartbreaking to see how clearly they play favourites between her and DH.
So we had our sex reveal on Saturday. On Friday night, MIL calls to ask how the scan went. She also mentions that she and FIL won’t be coming to the reveal. She says it’s because it’s just going to be our friends and it’ll be awkward to be with just our friends. This makes NO sense because not only have they hung out with our friends (just them, as in no other family members) on MULTIPLE occasions, they’ve even come on vacation with us and our friends. So immediately DH and I know that that’s not the real reason. We also immediately know what is. It’s because SIL wasn’t invited. Why wasn’t she invited? Because last year when I calmly tried to squash things with her, she called me a piece of shit and said she never wanted to see me again. Fine by me. Do I still say all the time if DH wants to invite her to things, that’s fine by me, I can suck it up for the day? Always. Did I say that (in front of my in-laws) for the reveal as well? You bet. So she wasn’t invited because DH didn’t invite her.
So they chose not to come to their grandchild’s sex reveal because SIL wasn’t invited. So they weren’t even in a situation where it was DH vs SIL and they STILL chose SIL. Now you might be thinking, “oh give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they really did feel awkward this time!” Nope. Because MIL’s best friend (DH’s godmother) still came. And she doesn’t hold back anything. And she spoke to MIL a few days ago, not the night before, and MIL straight up told her it was because SIL wasn’t invited. She said “people will be wondering where SIL is and it’ll be awkward” LOL no. Everyone has heard all of the stories about how awful SIL is and have even witnessed it for themselves. They won’t be wondering where she is but they damn sure we’re wondering where you were. Luckily godmother was like, I don’t agree with her decision and I told her she’s making a huge mistake so she had our back. Plus, it’s a HUGE slap in the face to my mom who was dying to be there but couldn’t because she’s in the states and to my dad because he’s passed away. DH was so heartbroken and embarrassed. Everyone knew why my parents couldn’t be there but his parents CHOSE not to be there.
If you think it ends there, lol good one. So we enjoy our day and don’t let it get to us. But the next morning, MIL calls and says she’ll come around later and find out the news then! Sorry but absolutely not. You don’t get to pick and choose when you love us and when you celebrate with us based on SIL’s permission. Luckily DH agreed (he hates any and all confrontation) and told her this. She also made sure to say “don’t forget to text your sister to make sure she’s okay!” Are you kidding me? How about how you absolutely broke our hearts? Are YOU going to ask if we’re okay? Nope. Because SIL is the only one that matters. MIL says she’s not going to come to any family functions until “we can all be together”. But what she really meant by not coming to family functions is that she’s not coming to OUR family functions. She’ll still go to SIL’s. And I’ve already had to sit at home on my own and miss out on birthdays and gatherings because SIL was going to be there and I wasn’t ALLOWED to be. Did anybody text me to make sure I was okay? Nope. Did anyone say “oh I’m not going until Jackie is invited!”? Nope. The best part? Guess is who to blame for all of this? 🙋🏻♀️ Apparently it’s MY fault SIL and I don’t speak (conveniently forgetting this was SIL’s decision) it’s MY fault she wasn’t invited (even though I told DH to invite whoever he wants, and I said this in front of MIL).
So after this phone call, DH does his best to keep it together but he can’t. He went upstairs and cried on the bathroom floor. And I mean sobbed. He was wailing and whimpering. I’ve never seen him like that. And I just held him in my arms as he cried for at least an hour, completely heartbroken, wishing I could take his pain away. Wishing THEY could be the ones to hear and see what they’ve done to him.
@jackie_dunny I am so incredibly sorry you and your husband have to deal that. I know you didn't ask for opinions, but just wanted to say that I think you two made all the right calls and that the gaslighting and passive aggression from them is disgusting. I hope you were able to enjoy your sex reveal even with all of their petty bullshit ❤
@jackie_dunny What a mess. Sorry your in-laws had to cast that shadow over your celebration and cause both you and your husband so much stress. That's such a difficult position to be in.
@jackie_dunny I hate that so much for you both I hope that you both can find peace with the decisions that they're making. I'm a big mental health fan and immediately wondered if they all would be willing to do family counseling? If not, hopefully your husband can do so individually to deal with what must've been a lifetime of favoritism
Jackie, I am so sorry to read this update. I know the pain of comforting your husband due to favoritism, but this story just takes the cake. I am so sorry, girl.
@jackie_dunny I just read this and wow, SIL sounds like a piece of shit. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am that this is happening and she called you awful stuff and you get blamed?! WTF? This makes me so mad. I had a similar issue with my now ex MIL, she just didn't like me at all. And she even tried to get out of coming to our wedding because "she had to stay at home with the cats" which is such BS. That whole family was strange so I'm glad I've left that behind me.
It sounds like your DH is a wonderful human and I'm glad he has you around to support him when his family can't even show up for him.
Re: Monday BF 6/28
So after this phone call, DH does his best to keep it together but he can’t. He went upstairs and cried on the bathroom floor. And I mean sobbed. He was wailing and whimpering. I’ve never seen him like that. And I just held him in my arms as he cried for at least an hour, completely heartbroken, wishing I could take his pain away. Wishing THEY could be the ones to hear and see what they’ve done to him.
Due: 6 Nov 2021
It sounds like your DH is a wonderful human and I'm glad he has you around to support him when his family can't even show up for him.
Sending you big love 💕❤️💕
Due: 6 Nov 2021