Fear of PPD?

ccasey2014

Hi mamas! I had my beautiful boy on 10/14/2020. I want another child so badly, but I had a horrible case of PPD and postpartum psychosis after having the first one. I acted really crazy and had terrifying thoughts, like that my family was going to kill me or my baby, which felt really real at the time. It lasted about 2 months before I finally got the right treatment and meds. Even though I’m better now, I still feel horror thinking back on that time, and I am so scared it will happen again. Has anyone else been through this? Did it affect your decision to have (or not have) another baby?